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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 220358" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Having a good therapist on baord is important- and difficult to find sometimes. I'm glad to hear that you do have someone involved who at least is trying to get to the root of the problems. The #2 assignment does sound a little frustrating for a parent. However, maybe your difficult child needs to know that if <em>you</em> don't notice, then he isn't doing much changing. Also, this probably lets therapist know a little more about the home situation. Let's say difficult child goes back to his next appointment and says I did XY & Z and no one noticed. That is a way in for therapist to ask <em>exactly</em> how did you go about it and when. So, if difficult child thinks he's making a lot of effort, but others around him don't see it, it could be an opportunity to find out why and what could help that situation. (It's just a thought- I don't really know therapist's plan, of course!)</p><p></p><p>My first reaction would have been like yours though- if anyone gets my difficult child to show some motivation and effort when he's "shutting down", I want to make sure he gets positive reinforcement to keep him going. I'm sending many wishes to you that you see something soon that you can brag on him for!! (Homework, showering without being asked/told, taking initiative to help in some way that no one ever asks him to, getting off the phone on time without being fussed at, I dunno??)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 220358, member: 3699"] Having a good therapist on baord is important- and difficult to find sometimes. I'm glad to hear that you do have someone involved who at least is trying to get to the root of the problems. The #2 assignment does sound a little frustrating for a parent. However, maybe your difficult child needs to know that if [I]you[/I] don't notice, then he isn't doing much changing. Also, this probably lets therapist know a little more about the home situation. Let's say difficult child goes back to his next appointment and says I did XY & Z and no one noticed. That is a way in for therapist to ask [I]exactly[/I] how did you go about it and when. So, if difficult child thinks he's making a lot of effort, but others around him don't see it, it could be an opportunity to find out why and what could help that situation. (It's just a thought- I don't really know therapist's plan, of course!) My first reaction would have been like yours though- if anyone gets my difficult child to show some motivation and effort when he's "shutting down", I want to make sure he gets positive reinforcement to keep him going. I'm sending many wishes to you that you see something soon that you can brag on him for!! (Homework, showering without being asked/told, taking initiative to help in some way that no one ever asks him to, getting off the phone on time without being fussed at, I dunno??) [/QUOTE]
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