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OK - So Here's what Happened...
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 399290" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Sounds like you did the right thing. I hope that when the detective contacts you that he can get the info from the guy's ISP or FB account to nail him as a pedophile, because that IS what he is. Esp as he KNEW her age and that it is ILLEGAL. in my opinion there is no guy worth spitting on if he was on fire who would have responded to her that way, or even entered the conversation once her age was listed. husband has discussed the daughter of one of his mom's coworkers who was about 15 or 16 when he was in college. Her entire high school thought that husband was her boyfriend - he was 19 at the time. He was asked by him mom to show her around town ONE TIME because she was looking at the university. He did. THen she started this koi, including telling her friends she was intimate with him. He heard about it when his little sister did through the sister of one of her friends. His ENTIRE reaction was to be completely creeped out by the THOUGHT of "dating" her, much less doing anything remotely intimate. NOT because she was ugly, or dumb or anything unpleasant. JUST because she was so young. His access to college women didn't hurt. </p><p> </p><p>Please be aware that many colleges have guys now who just do not CARE how old a female is as long as she doesn't say no. She can be unconscious and it isn't a problem, only fighting them off is. Sadly in our town it is the fraternities that are teh WORST at this kind of immorality - mainly the really expensive ones because the parents can buy the kids out of trouble - and they DO. So your daughter may find nasty males in many circles, but ONLY those not worth the name will be "interested". </p><p> </p><p>I am SO SORRY that you have to deal with this. Social networking sites make it FAR too easy for this to go on. </p><p> </p><p>Your husband is awesome for handling this, esp in a way that made it clear that raging was NOT an option. If the guy comes to "kill" you, I hope you and husband have some way to thwart him. I doubt he will - girls her age with families who would make things easy for him seem to abound. Hopefully he will just think she is too much trouble AND the cops will go after him in a BIG way.</p><p> </p><p>in my opinion if the cops come to you wanting to charge him, PLEASE support them. Even if you must drag difficult child through the process - this guy DESERVES a sex offender label and to spend his LIFE as a registered sex offender. I have seen a LOT of guys who got away with it in their early 20s who still want teenage girls in their 30s and 40s. It is an UGLY thing. The ones I have seen have gotten high paying jobs through fraternity connections and/or jobs like drug co reps. Then they provide their children with alcohol and $$ for parties and "enjoy" their friends. Or they go back as alumnae of the fraternities and prey on the girls who attend those parties. The high school girls in our town know which frats will welcome and intoxicate them, and they know how they will be expected to "pay" for the "privileges" of attending. I am NOT joking. It is a MAJOR reason that I dropped a couple of guys my parents really really liked. I got wind of what they did with their "brothers" and was grossed out - even in high school. I know for a FACT that 2 of them are at parties here on at least a monthly basis. Sadly they are BIG contributors to local and state political campaigns so the few times the police have been involved these creeps were kept away from all consequences save some financial payments. </p><p> </p><p>If anyone had been able to get them labelled as sex offenders years ago, many young women would not have been exposed because they would not have been able to get jobs that would have provided the financial means for them to cover up what they like. So PLEASE don't be shy about helping to prosecute. I understand if it is just too much to handle. But if you can get the police to go through with it and get a sex offender label put on the man you might save quite a few young women from him - and save their parents a lot of agony also.</p><p> </p><p>Either way, do what is right for YOUR family. That INCLUDES you!! If you don't take care of yourself you won't be able to care for them. Trust me, I am proof of it. IF what you need is to let this drop after you make sure the school will not let her on the computer or let her use other kids' phones, then let it drop. Do NOT let stress over this rob you of your health. Please. (I would call each of her friends' parents and ask them to not allow their kids to let her use their phones/internet because she is trying to have sex with old men. It will gross out her friends and likely they will not want that on their phones. If they still let her, let them know that they can be charged for contributing to the delinquency of a minor and promoting stat rape/child sex/child porn by letting her use their phones to send sexual messages. And phone co's turn those records over a lot more now. One cell phone co is starting to use software to identify sexting so that it can be turned over to authorities. it is not active yet, but is in the "works", or so I havve been told by someone I know and trust who is an upper level manager for their stores in a big city. </p><p> </p><p>Either way, you did the right thing by having ds and you out of the house. You just cannot handle everything yourself.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 399290, member: 1233"] Sounds like you did the right thing. I hope that when the detective contacts you that he can get the info from the guy's ISP or FB account to nail him as a pedophile, because that IS what he is. Esp as he KNEW her age and that it is ILLEGAL. in my opinion there is no guy worth spitting on if he was on fire who would have responded to her that way, or even entered the conversation once her age was listed. husband has discussed the daughter of one of his mom's coworkers who was about 15 or 16 when he was in college. Her entire high school thought that husband was her boyfriend - he was 19 at the time. He was asked by him mom to show her around town ONE TIME because she was looking at the university. He did. THen she started this koi, including telling her friends she was intimate with him. He heard about it when his little sister did through the sister of one of her friends. His ENTIRE reaction was to be completely creeped out by the THOUGHT of "dating" her, much less doing anything remotely intimate. NOT because she was ugly, or dumb or anything unpleasant. JUST because she was so young. His access to college women didn't hurt. Please be aware that many colleges have guys now who just do not CARE how old a female is as long as she doesn't say no. She can be unconscious and it isn't a problem, only fighting them off is. Sadly in our town it is the fraternities that are teh WORST at this kind of immorality - mainly the really expensive ones because the parents can buy the kids out of trouble - and they DO. So your daughter may find nasty males in many circles, but ONLY those not worth the name will be "interested". I am SO SORRY that you have to deal with this. Social networking sites make it FAR too easy for this to go on. Your husband is awesome for handling this, esp in a way that made it clear that raging was NOT an option. If the guy comes to "kill" you, I hope you and husband have some way to thwart him. I doubt he will - girls her age with families who would make things easy for him seem to abound. Hopefully he will just think she is too much trouble AND the cops will go after him in a BIG way. in my opinion if the cops come to you wanting to charge him, PLEASE support them. Even if you must drag difficult child through the process - this guy DESERVES a sex offender label and to spend his LIFE as a registered sex offender. I have seen a LOT of guys who got away with it in their early 20s who still want teenage girls in their 30s and 40s. It is an UGLY thing. The ones I have seen have gotten high paying jobs through fraternity connections and/or jobs like drug co reps. Then they provide their children with alcohol and $$ for parties and "enjoy" their friends. Or they go back as alumnae of the fraternities and prey on the girls who attend those parties. The high school girls in our town know which frats will welcome and intoxicate them, and they know how they will be expected to "pay" for the "privileges" of attending. I am NOT joking. It is a MAJOR reason that I dropped a couple of guys my parents really really liked. I got wind of what they did with their "brothers" and was grossed out - even in high school. I know for a FACT that 2 of them are at parties here on at least a monthly basis. Sadly they are BIG contributors to local and state political campaigns so the few times the police have been involved these creeps were kept away from all consequences save some financial payments. If anyone had been able to get them labelled as sex offenders years ago, many young women would not have been exposed because they would not have been able to get jobs that would have provided the financial means for them to cover up what they like. So PLEASE don't be shy about helping to prosecute. I understand if it is just too much to handle. But if you can get the police to go through with it and get a sex offender label put on the man you might save quite a few young women from him - and save their parents a lot of agony also. Either way, do what is right for YOUR family. That INCLUDES you!! If you don't take care of yourself you won't be able to care for them. Trust me, I am proof of it. IF what you need is to let this drop after you make sure the school will not let her on the computer or let her use other kids' phones, then let it drop. Do NOT let stress over this rob you of your health. Please. (I would call each of her friends' parents and ask them to not allow their kids to let her use their phones/internet because she is trying to have sex with old men. It will gross out her friends and likely they will not want that on their phones. If they still let her, let them know that they can be charged for contributing to the delinquency of a minor and promoting stat rape/child sex/child porn by letting her use their phones to send sexual messages. And phone co's turn those records over a lot more now. One cell phone co is starting to use software to identify sexting so that it can be turned over to authorities. it is not active yet, but is in the "works", or so I havve been told by someone I know and trust who is an upper level manager for their stores in a big city. Either way, you did the right thing by having ds and you out of the house. You just cannot handle everything yourself. [/QUOTE]
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