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General Parenting
Ok, so I went to the DV shelter today
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<blockquote data-quote="dreamer" data-source="post: 136261" data-attributes="member: 1697"><p>I totoally feel your frustration and your pain. I know becuz of my husband behaviors due to his illness and my difficult child behaviors due to hers, it created such difficult situations, and often one of their issues made someone elses issues more difficult to get help for, and I felt caught in the middle most of the time. Plus, often what any of the helping organizations wanted to do was not always what my heart or one of our docs said was good or right......and so often things made so little sense. </p><p>In hindsight, my person opinion is that I used so much time effort and energy jumping thru useless hoops doing what some of these places suggested- and often the act of jumping thru these hoops caused MORE difficulties......and seldom did anything ever come to anything helpful or useful long term or in the end. </p><p>I truly have little idea exactly how we made it this far.but I do know it was NOT due to ANY help from any agency or wrap etc. MOstly all they did was make things MORE complicated.....</p><p>(ssent us respite workers I had reported to CPS personally, set dtr up with a mentor that was a victim of domestic violence WHILE she had my dtr with her, sent us respite workers with various assorted substance abuse issues etc.....all kinds of weird things) </p><p></p><p>How did we live financially? Good question......I am not sure. I know I did a few borderline things, float checks for example- which are not possible to do now with so much electronic posting.....lived off credit cards, for daily living needs......A few food baskets here and there.....truth is it is hard to get help from the food pantry place, cuz you hafta get referrals from at least 2 social service agencies first, in writing.....means you hafta GET to those agencies- difficult if you have no access to a car......and you have to convince them you need help getting food......</p><p>I had my husband here to technically say he was watching my kids, whew- just thank my lucky stars nothing EVER happened when he was alone with them while I worked.altho at one time CPS DID tell me I could no longer leave my kids with him....</p><p></p><p>Ironically while my kids were GETTING respite, I was PROVIDING respite......and I kept saying gosh, wouldn't it work out far more easily if you simply assigned me to my own house to do my own respite- becuz they had a hard time placeing respite workers here for my kids schedule----and I had a hard time finding work within my respite workers schedule--but no- cannot provide your own respite. SO I got paid to go do respite for others and someone else was supposed to come here and do my kids, altho usually whoever was assigned here did not bother to show up. </p><p></p><p>SO much paper pushing, so much people shoving you off, "passing the buck" becuz they do not know how to help- and so far I see very few agencies who will really listen to what any families NEEDS are. </p><p></p><p>It is VERY sad.and the long term repercussions are not going to be good. </p><p>Sending you best wishes to find something that WILL help in your circumstances. </p><p></p><p>Hmmm ironically my kids have Medicaide BUT I have this major difficulty- no docs here will ACCEPT Medicaide. Nice. THats just SO helpful, huh?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dreamer, post: 136261, member: 1697"] I totoally feel your frustration and your pain. I know becuz of my husband behaviors due to his illness and my difficult child behaviors due to hers, it created such difficult situations, and often one of their issues made someone elses issues more difficult to get help for, and I felt caught in the middle most of the time. Plus, often what any of the helping organizations wanted to do was not always what my heart or one of our docs said was good or right......and so often things made so little sense. In hindsight, my person opinion is that I used so much time effort and energy jumping thru useless hoops doing what some of these places suggested- and often the act of jumping thru these hoops caused MORE difficulties......and seldom did anything ever come to anything helpful or useful long term or in the end. I truly have little idea exactly how we made it this far.but I do know it was NOT due to ANY help from any agency or wrap etc. MOstly all they did was make things MORE complicated..... (ssent us respite workers I had reported to CPS personally, set dtr up with a mentor that was a victim of domestic violence WHILE she had my dtr with her, sent us respite workers with various assorted substance abuse issues etc.....all kinds of weird things) How did we live financially? Good question......I am not sure. I know I did a few borderline things, float checks for example- which are not possible to do now with so much electronic posting.....lived off credit cards, for daily living needs......A few food baskets here and there.....truth is it is hard to get help from the food pantry place, cuz you hafta get referrals from at least 2 social service agencies first, in writing.....means you hafta GET to those agencies- difficult if you have no access to a car......and you have to convince them you need help getting food...... I had my husband here to technically say he was watching my kids, whew- just thank my lucky stars nothing EVER happened when he was alone with them while I worked.altho at one time CPS DID tell me I could no longer leave my kids with him.... Ironically while my kids were GETTING respite, I was PROVIDING respite......and I kept saying gosh, wouldn't it work out far more easily if you simply assigned me to my own house to do my own respite- becuz they had a hard time placeing respite workers here for my kids schedule----and I had a hard time finding work within my respite workers schedule--but no- cannot provide your own respite. SO I got paid to go do respite for others and someone else was supposed to come here and do my kids, altho usually whoever was assigned here did not bother to show up. SO much paper pushing, so much people shoving you off, "passing the buck" becuz they do not know how to help- and so far I see very few agencies who will really listen to what any families NEEDS are. It is VERY sad.and the long term repercussions are not going to be good. Sending you best wishes to find something that WILL help in your circumstances. Hmmm ironically my kids have Medicaide BUT I have this major difficulty- no docs here will ACCEPT Medicaide. Nice. THats just SO helpful, huh? [/QUOTE]
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Ok, so I went to the DV shelter today
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