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OK, Update- I got the job and now I need opinions
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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 533166" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>klmno - Congrats on the job. That's *wonderful* news and I'm so happy for you.</p><p></p><p>I think you need to talk to E and just lay it all out for him, the same way you have here. The pros and cons, and your concerns for him, and your need to be able to take care of *yourself* 10, 20, 30 years from now. </p><p></p><p>And you need to remember that *your* decisions have little if anything to do with E's success at this point. He is either going to make good choices and have a decent quality life, or he's not. You have no control over it, hon. I know you want to .... what's the phrase, not really make it easy for him, but something like that ... I understand your concerns over a move and the potential disruption for him, but he's a big boy now. The responsibility is on his shoulders, where you're living now or should you move.</p><p></p><p>in my humble opinion, it's a no-brainer. You take the job. You need the retirement, you need the benefits, and you have the right to work in the profession that you chose. How much of your personal quality of life are you supposed to lay at the feet of your son, and for how long? </p><p></p><p>Worst case scenario - you take the job, he doesn't adjust, he make bad choices. It's *not* your fault (though I'm sure he would try to tell you it is <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> ). You have your career back, you have benefits, you have retirement, and you will be able to take care of yourself.</p><p></p><p>on the other hand, you don't take the job, he makes bad choices. Again, *not* your fault (though I'm sure he would try to tell you it is). You don't have your career or decent benefits or retirement, and you will have to continue to live extremely frugally.</p><p></p><p>I have my fingers crossed that he's learned enough to never want to have to live the way he has for the past couple years. I gather he *has* made some decent choices recently so... hopefully imaging worst case scenario is just a mental exercise. </p><p></p><p>He will be gone in a few very short years. Where do *you* want to be then?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 533166, member: 8"] klmno - Congrats on the job. That's *wonderful* news and I'm so happy for you. I think you need to talk to E and just lay it all out for him, the same way you have here. The pros and cons, and your concerns for him, and your need to be able to take care of *yourself* 10, 20, 30 years from now. And you need to remember that *your* decisions have little if anything to do with E's success at this point. He is either going to make good choices and have a decent quality life, or he's not. You have no control over it, hon. I know you want to .... what's the phrase, not really make it easy for him, but something like that ... I understand your concerns over a move and the potential disruption for him, but he's a big boy now. The responsibility is on his shoulders, where you're living now or should you move. in my humble opinion, it's a no-brainer. You take the job. You need the retirement, you need the benefits, and you have the right to work in the profession that you chose. How much of your personal quality of life are you supposed to lay at the feet of your son, and for how long? Worst case scenario - you take the job, he doesn't adjust, he make bad choices. It's *not* your fault (though I'm sure he would try to tell you it is :winking: ). You have your career back, you have benefits, you have retirement, and you will be able to take care of yourself. on the other hand, you don't take the job, he makes bad choices. Again, *not* your fault (though I'm sure he would try to tell you it is). You don't have your career or decent benefits or retirement, and you will have to continue to live extremely frugally. I have my fingers crossed that he's learned enough to never want to have to live the way he has for the past couple years. I gather he *has* made some decent choices recently so... hopefully imaging worst case scenario is just a mental exercise. He will be gone in a few very short years. Where do *you* want to be then? [/QUOTE]
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OK, Update- I got the job and now I need opinions
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