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ok what do i do???? i'm clueless
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 285004" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Lisa is SO RIGHT.</p><p></p><p>This is going to take major commitment to follow through on your part Jen. But you have lived as a single mom of a difficult child so I KNOW you can do it. </p><p></p><p>In the past you have mentioned how she goes to a school in a well off area, with kids who have more money to spend on clothes. You were reluctant to take her clothes and stuff them because she had you feeling guilty you couldn't provide her with all the things her friends and classmates had. It was understandable as long as she was a easy child.</p><p></p><p>The privileges should leave since the easy child behavior left. And should STAY gone a couple of weeks after the easy child behaviors come back. It can be the ONLY way to get through to a kid, esp in the grip of those hideous teen hormones!</p><p></p><p>Plan out what you are doing. Make sure it has some serious WOW factor going on. You want her mad, reacting. Until now you have been reacting to HER actions. If you want any chance at not spending the next however many years dealing with difficult child-ish behaviors from her then you will start being proactive and let her do the reacting.</p><p></p><p>And the more over the top her reactions, the more you know your actions are reaching her! </p><p></p><p>Some way, some how, this behavior needs to be tamed. Otherwise NO ONE will have a decent life in your home and whatever your relationship with boyfriend is now she will only destroy it. MAke sure you and boyfriend are on the same page - or at least that he knows how to not undermine what you are doing.</p><p></p><p>She has escalated this to the point she could damage her chances at further education. I don't think you want to see how much farther she can push you. </p><p></p><p>Know we support you. Get boyfriend and your female friends on your side. You also might find help and/or inspiration from the book Parenting your Teen with Love adn Logic. </p><p></p><p>Many hugs!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 285004, member: 1233"] Lisa is SO RIGHT. This is going to take major commitment to follow through on your part Jen. But you have lived as a single mom of a difficult child so I KNOW you can do it. In the past you have mentioned how she goes to a school in a well off area, with kids who have more money to spend on clothes. You were reluctant to take her clothes and stuff them because she had you feeling guilty you couldn't provide her with all the things her friends and classmates had. It was understandable as long as she was a easy child. The privileges should leave since the easy child behavior left. And should STAY gone a couple of weeks after the easy child behaviors come back. It can be the ONLY way to get through to a kid, esp in the grip of those hideous teen hormones! Plan out what you are doing. Make sure it has some serious WOW factor going on. You want her mad, reacting. Until now you have been reacting to HER actions. If you want any chance at not spending the next however many years dealing with difficult child-ish behaviors from her then you will start being proactive and let her do the reacting. And the more over the top her reactions, the more you know your actions are reaching her! Some way, some how, this behavior needs to be tamed. Otherwise NO ONE will have a decent life in your home and whatever your relationship with boyfriend is now she will only destroy it. MAke sure you and boyfriend are on the same page - or at least that he knows how to not undermine what you are doing. She has escalated this to the point she could damage her chances at further education. I don't think you want to see how much farther she can push you. Know we support you. Get boyfriend and your female friends on your side. You also might find help and/or inspiration from the book Parenting your Teen with Love adn Logic. Many hugs! [/QUOTE]
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