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OMG - he lied again!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 576529" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>JKF, I think it's a defense mechanism that just turns into a bad habit. Really.</p><p>My husband once told difficult child, when he was going through a lying streak, that if he told him the truth, there would be no punishment. Just that he HAD to tell the truth. I nearly dropped my teeth. difficult child had gone through lighting matches, to stealing from my purse, to numerous other things that had to stop. </p><p>But difficult child did tell the truth. It worked.</p><p>I tried it a few times after that, but boy, was it hard! I had to guess when it would be beneficial to get the truth out of him and when it would be beneficial to yell and put him in time out. (In fact, right now he has no bedroom door so we can see what's going on in there at all times.)</p><p>One thing we did was sit there with him until he talked. Usually, it didn't take more than an hour. We just sat. No one talked. We waited. And waited. Finally, difficult child broke down and told us. After that, there was less of a time issue, and eventually he'd come home from school and tell us immediately that something had gone wrong (iow, something he had <em>done </em>wrong). It really saved a lot of time, not to mention yelling.</p><p>Now, I can't guarantee that it will work. But I do know that it's worth a try.</p><p>difficult child still lies. Mostly now, he omits the truth. When they're in their mid-teens, their lying is occasionally sophisticated. But now he just does stupid stuff, like if he's grounded at home, and I run an errand, he'll text me and ask when I'm coming home, and can I pick up a burger for him?</p><p>No. If you're grounded, you don't get a special treat.</p><p>Plus, chances are, your girlfriend is on her way over or already at the house. And the texting is just to see how far away I am.</p><p>That's more typical teen. </p><p>It never ends.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 576529, member: 3419"] JKF, I think it's a defense mechanism that just turns into a bad habit. Really. My husband once told difficult child, when he was going through a lying streak, that if he told him the truth, there would be no punishment. Just that he HAD to tell the truth. I nearly dropped my teeth. difficult child had gone through lighting matches, to stealing from my purse, to numerous other things that had to stop. But difficult child did tell the truth. It worked. I tried it a few times after that, but boy, was it hard! I had to guess when it would be beneficial to get the truth out of him and when it would be beneficial to yell and put him in time out. (In fact, right now he has no bedroom door so we can see what's going on in there at all times.) One thing we did was sit there with him until he talked. Usually, it didn't take more than an hour. We just sat. No one talked. We waited. And waited. Finally, difficult child broke down and told us. After that, there was less of a time issue, and eventually he'd come home from school and tell us immediately that something had gone wrong (iow, something he had [I]done [/I]wrong). It really saved a lot of time, not to mention yelling. Now, I can't guarantee that it will work. But I do know that it's worth a try. difficult child still lies. Mostly now, he omits the truth. When they're in their mid-teens, their lying is occasionally sophisticated. But now he just does stupid stuff, like if he's grounded at home, and I run an errand, he'll text me and ask when I'm coming home, and can I pick up a burger for him? No. If you're grounded, you don't get a special treat. Plus, chances are, your girlfriend is on her way over or already at the house. And the texting is just to see how far away I am. That's more typical teen. It never ends. [/QUOTE]
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OMG - he lied again!!!
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