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OMG, his plan is to return here...
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<blockquote data-quote="blackgnat" data-source="post: 657530" data-attributes="member: 13561"><p>Thanks for the empathy, guys, I know that this is the worst burden to bear, the Anti-Mother that we have to become. Some people have such good boundaries to begin with, others develop them and others like me have a couple and they are pretty wobbly.</p><p></p><p>I got an email this morning from exgf's ma and she said she'd picked him up from detox and he was back to his old self (whatever that means) which seemed to include wanting to take some medications to stop the cravings. He was going to sleep in his dad's bus until Monday, go to Denver and enroll in a program for homeless people (probably Christian based) and stay there until his card is loaded up (the State gives him an allowance every month ) then COME OUT TO ILLINOIS.</p><p></p><p>He's then going to that horrible mission and stay there until he gets into the better one...IF they will take him. I highly doubt that he will check it out before he comes. Sigh.</p><p></p><p>So, he's making his way back. He told her that he knew he "wouldn't get any support in Illinois" (cue the Tsunami of Mother Guilt) but he just feels he has to get out of Colorado.</p><p></p><p>The stupid thing is that I was planning a trip out there next weekend to see my sons and I actually have a job interview on June 10. I wanted to have access to them (limited with Difficult Child, but with Easy Child, I feel I'm missing out on a lot of his life) and I thought I'd dip my toe in the water, with a view to relocating. So now, he'll be here and I'll be there?</p><p></p><p>Guess that's the way I like it, but the role reversal (geographically speaking) is doing my head in.</p><p></p><p>I mean, if he remains sober I would be delighted to see him every couple of weeks for lunch or coffee or something-I seem to have lost that initial terror I had , at the idea of him being in my vicinity. But that's probably because I know that right now, he's sober.</p><p></p><p>Would it be too enabling to tell him to wait until I get out there and if he is still determined to come out to Illinois, I can give him a ride back with me? Or do I need a good shaking to even be considering that?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="blackgnat, post: 657530, member: 13561"] Thanks for the empathy, guys, I know that this is the worst burden to bear, the Anti-Mother that we have to become. Some people have such good boundaries to begin with, others develop them and others like me have a couple and they are pretty wobbly. I got an email this morning from exgf's ma and she said she'd picked him up from detox and he was back to his old self (whatever that means) which seemed to include wanting to take some medications to stop the cravings. He was going to sleep in his dad's bus until Monday, go to Denver and enroll in a program for homeless people (probably Christian based) and stay there until his card is loaded up (the State gives him an allowance every month ) then COME OUT TO ILLINOIS. He's then going to that horrible mission and stay there until he gets into the better one...IF they will take him. I highly doubt that he will check it out before he comes. Sigh. So, he's making his way back. He told her that he knew he "wouldn't get any support in Illinois" (cue the Tsunami of Mother Guilt) but he just feels he has to get out of Colorado. The stupid thing is that I was planning a trip out there next weekend to see my sons and I actually have a job interview on June 10. I wanted to have access to them (limited with Difficult Child, but with Easy Child, I feel I'm missing out on a lot of his life) and I thought I'd dip my toe in the water, with a view to relocating. So now, he'll be here and I'll be there? Guess that's the way I like it, but the role reversal (geographically speaking) is doing my head in. I mean, if he remains sober I would be delighted to see him every couple of weeks for lunch or coffee or something-I seem to have lost that initial terror I had , at the idea of him being in my vicinity. But that's probably because I know that right now, he's sober. Would it be too enabling to tell him to wait until I get out there and if he is still determined to come out to Illinois, I can give him a ride back with me? Or do I need a good shaking to even be considering that? [/QUOTE]
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OMG, his plan is to return here...
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