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Parent Emeritus
OMG, his plan is to return here...
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<blockquote data-quote="Jabberwockey" data-source="post: 657554" data-attributes="member: 18238"><p>This doesnt deserve a simple agree. Even though this man is your son, HE ALMOST KILLED YOU! Love him but until he has EARNED it do not make the mistake of trusting him.</p><p></p><p>As far as the whole where did I go wrong, what else could I have done, what could I have done differently questions? I know its not easy but forget them. Even if you made mistakes, forget them! We are human beings, we are not perfect, we make mistakes. I've worked for almost 24 years in Corrections. My first 14 years were as an Officer in a maximum security prison. After that, 5 and a half years in Probation and Parole working electronic monitoring supervision and since then I have been a Case Manager at a minimum level prison. I say this because I have learned a lot over the years about, for a lack of a better way to put it, alternative thinking. I spent YEARS trying to figure out the criminal mind set and the one thing I've learned is dont bother. You cant understand someone with that mind set, especially when they dont understand themselves. I've spoken to several inmates over the years, especially after we started having issues with our son. They have pretty much all said that what their parents did or didnt do for them had NO effect on the course of their lives after early to mid teens. At that point, either they had made the decision what they were going to do, or they were so far into addiction that it wasnt them in control any more.</p><p></p><p>Let it go. Let him be a grown man and live his life as he chooses. Dont enable him, because until he kicks this addiction you wont be able to help him. Love him but dont trust him until he has earned that trust. And lets be honest, trust is the easiest thing to destroy and the hardest thing to build. Be cautious, loving, and most of all, not too trusting!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jabberwockey, post: 657554, member: 18238"] This doesnt deserve a simple agree. Even though this man is your son, HE ALMOST KILLED YOU! Love him but until he has EARNED it do not make the mistake of trusting him. As far as the whole where did I go wrong, what else could I have done, what could I have done differently questions? I know its not easy but forget them. Even if you made mistakes, forget them! We are human beings, we are not perfect, we make mistakes. I've worked for almost 24 years in Corrections. My first 14 years were as an Officer in a maximum security prison. After that, 5 and a half years in Probation and Parole working electronic monitoring supervision and since then I have been a Case Manager at a minimum level prison. I say this because I have learned a lot over the years about, for a lack of a better way to put it, alternative thinking. I spent YEARS trying to figure out the criminal mind set and the one thing I've learned is dont bother. You cant understand someone with that mind set, especially when they dont understand themselves. I've spoken to several inmates over the years, especially after we started having issues with our son. They have pretty much all said that what their parents did or didnt do for them had NO effect on the course of their lives after early to mid teens. At that point, either they had made the decision what they were going to do, or they were so far into addiction that it wasnt them in control any more. Let it go. Let him be a grown man and live his life as he chooses. Dont enable him, because until he kicks this addiction you wont be able to help him. Love him but dont trust him until he has earned that trust. And lets be honest, trust is the easiest thing to destroy and the hardest thing to build. Be cautious, loving, and most of all, not too trusting! [/QUOTE]
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OMG, his plan is to return here...
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