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OMG, his plan is to return here...
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<blockquote data-quote="Iwantpeace" data-source="post: 657726" data-attributes="member: 18531"><p>Dear Bg,</p><p>This is so much more than anyone should have to deal with. Earlier today I read tishthedish said on another post, "in this matter tell your heart that your gut and your brain get to decide the right course". I want to remember that one. You also said that mental illness ran in your family with your brother. We have a lot in common BG, my son has said things to me that no one let alone a mother should ever have to hear come from her sons mouth or any human beings mouth. Mine said to me once when he was angry at me, "well, I could slit your throat," twice he has said it. Another occasion when he was at my home and under the influence and angry said I'm just going to get my knife and kill you, this was after throwing a cup of water on me as I was leaving for work at 4 in the morning. He has said on more than one occasion when I told him he needed to move out it would be a shame if my house was to burn down in my sleep. I say this to let you know that I understand what it is to still love someone who has scared you so badly. The thing is my son only shows that side to very few people. All his anger is towards me and his ex. He manages to hide it pretty well. Of course now I know everyone he knows thinks I was a terrible mother and abuser because he has lied about me to everyone. I understand why you want to leave town. I love what Copa said to do about finding a peaceful image to keep in your head. That really spoke to me because at night I will try to come up with a thought of a safe memory anything to give me peace and I can't ever come up with one, so I will take that advice and use it at a tool. What I have had to do is go NO CONTACT at all for now. I know how hard it is because there is shame in admitting that your own son could say these things. I have always felt that he just says because he has anger issues but in the back of my mind, I think what if? So at night when I hear sounds I get very nervous. This might not be the politically correct thing to say but what will get me through is God. He is my rock and my refuge. I believe he lead me here to this awesome group of people. I always feel stronger and more hopeful after I have been on the site. Sorry this was so long! IWP</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Iwantpeace, post: 657726, member: 18531"] Dear Bg, This is so much more than anyone should have to deal with. Earlier today I read tishthedish said on another post, "in this matter tell your heart that your gut and your brain get to decide the right course". I want to remember that one. You also said that mental illness ran in your family with your brother. We have a lot in common BG, my son has said things to me that no one let alone a mother should ever have to hear come from her sons mouth or any human beings mouth. Mine said to me once when he was angry at me, "well, I could slit your throat," twice he has said it. Another occasion when he was at my home and under the influence and angry said I'm just going to get my knife and kill you, this was after throwing a cup of water on me as I was leaving for work at 4 in the morning. He has said on more than one occasion when I told him he needed to move out it would be a shame if my house was to burn down in my sleep. I say this to let you know that I understand what it is to still love someone who has scared you so badly. The thing is my son only shows that side to very few people. All his anger is towards me and his ex. He manages to hide it pretty well. Of course now I know everyone he knows thinks I was a terrible mother and abuser because he has lied about me to everyone. I understand why you want to leave town. I love what Copa said to do about finding a peaceful image to keep in your head. That really spoke to me because at night I will try to come up with a thought of a safe memory anything to give me peace and I can't ever come up with one, so I will take that advice and use it at a tool. What I have had to do is go NO CONTACT at all for now. I know how hard it is because there is shame in admitting that your own son could say these things. I have always felt that he just says because he has anger issues but in the back of my mind, I think what if? So at night when I hear sounds I get very nervous. This might not be the politically correct thing to say but what will get me through is God. He is my rock and my refuge. I believe he lead me here to this awesome group of people. I always feel stronger and more hopeful after I have been on the site. Sorry this was so long! IWP [/QUOTE]
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OMG, his plan is to return here...
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