O
omghelp
Guest
Let me start by introducing myself. I am a 42 year old mother of 2. I am here because of my 19 year old son. He was diagnosed at the age of 10 with Asperger's. Prior to that he had more initials behind his name than any doctor I ever met. My husband, his father and I have been a united front thru out his life to give him all the tools he needed to move into adult hood. We had therapy, medications, family based services,wrap around, IEP's, in patient, out patient. We followed all the rules and did everything we knew to do for him.
The summer before his senior year (last July) things began to spiral out of control. He began to loose interest in sports, school, or anything that previously was of interest to him. His lack of social skills was always an issue but for the first time began to take an interest and "make" friends. He barely graduated high school. I think had it not been for me and the teachers at school he would not have. He had excellent grades but when he turned 18 he began to skip school. Stayed out the maximum allowable by law! but never the less he did graduate.
He has been fired from 8 jobs since February, He has been arrested twice in the last 30 days for retail theft and possesion and he decided he does not need medications there is nothing wrong with him. The drug use is new as he passed a drug test in July. He has gotten verbally abusive towards me and his younger sister, stolen from us, his "friends", the public, been in 2 auto accidents, had 7 traffic violations. All have been relatively minor incidents but they have happened. He is spiraling out of control. Because he is over the age of 18 the state is telling me there is nothing I can do...he is an adult. The problem is he is a child in an adult body.
He has come to the conclusion that he is going to jail so what does it matter....yet he truly has no real understanding of what he has done....he just doesn't get the big deal....(this would be the complete lack of social skills and social awareness). He has been removed from my home by my doing in October. He had to go...I had to protect my home, myself and my other child. His father told him he could live with him but he opted to sleep in his car!! He is stealing things to sell so he can pay for gas and food.
We go to court on Monday and I have no idea what to do...I am trying tough love but I am not sure if this is Asperger's or some sort of personality disorder or defiant young adult, or that I just gave birth to the next lifetime criminal! I am exhausted, scared, sad, confused, angry and just plain ole tired! I want to be able to give him all the opportunities a parent can give but at what cost? I have another child I have to think about too....she has already suffered so much because of him. At the same token I can not enable the behavior regardless of the cause it is unacceptable!
I am open to any and all advice, direction....anything...can anyone point me in the right direction!
Thank you for taking the time to read! I appreciate your help.
The summer before his senior year (last July) things began to spiral out of control. He began to loose interest in sports, school, or anything that previously was of interest to him. His lack of social skills was always an issue but for the first time began to take an interest and "make" friends. He barely graduated high school. I think had it not been for me and the teachers at school he would not have. He had excellent grades but when he turned 18 he began to skip school. Stayed out the maximum allowable by law! but never the less he did graduate.
He has been fired from 8 jobs since February, He has been arrested twice in the last 30 days for retail theft and possesion and he decided he does not need medications there is nothing wrong with him. The drug use is new as he passed a drug test in July. He has gotten verbally abusive towards me and his younger sister, stolen from us, his "friends", the public, been in 2 auto accidents, had 7 traffic violations. All have been relatively minor incidents but they have happened. He is spiraling out of control. Because he is over the age of 18 the state is telling me there is nothing I can do...he is an adult. The problem is he is a child in an adult body.
He has come to the conclusion that he is going to jail so what does it matter....yet he truly has no real understanding of what he has done....he just doesn't get the big deal....(this would be the complete lack of social skills and social awareness). He has been removed from my home by my doing in October. He had to go...I had to protect my home, myself and my other child. His father told him he could live with him but he opted to sleep in his car!! He is stealing things to sell so he can pay for gas and food.
We go to court on Monday and I have no idea what to do...I am trying tough love but I am not sure if this is Asperger's or some sort of personality disorder or defiant young adult, or that I just gave birth to the next lifetime criminal! I am exhausted, scared, sad, confused, angry and just plain ole tired! I want to be able to give him all the opportunities a parent can give but at what cost? I have another child I have to think about too....she has already suffered so much because of him. At the same token I can not enable the behavior regardless of the cause it is unacceptable!
I am open to any and all advice, direction....anything...can anyone point me in the right direction!
Thank you for taking the time to read! I appreciate your help.