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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 478085" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>Kathy - I'm just so very very sorry she's putting you thru this, and I have to say I'm more than a little peeved at her as well. When is enough enough? I agree with- Janet - she knows exactly what she's doing to you with- all these wonderfully informative texts. </p><p></p><p>Time to study up on those detached responses in archives. "Gee, honey, sorry about roomie's boyfriend's eye. Hope he recovers soon." "Gee honey, sorry living arrangements I am paying for aren't working out - hope you can come up with a better alternative soon." </p><p></p><p>When thank you was at his worst, I quickly learned to avoid asking simple questions like "How are you?", because sure as shooting, he would tell me and it just tore me up. I really *didn't* want to know.</p><p></p><p> We end up in a teeny tiny little box - a kid who can't/won't get help, stick with programs, who we love to pieces and who is just shredding our very heart. We want to help, but any help will be abused. I heard it all - the best shelters, the best soup kitchens, hanging out in Boys Town with the other street kids. It was horrible, Kathy. He didn't want my "help", he wanted to do what he wanted to do - if I would finance him, all the better. When I quit letting him hear my emotional response, when all he got was "that's nice" or "sorry to hear that", he at least stopped trying to inhale me into his little dysfunctional world.</p><p></p><p>How much longer can *you* keep this up? You deserve a break, hon. She has got to figure it out for herself now. Heaven knows, if you could fix it for her, it would've been done a *long* time ago. </p><p></p><p>I'm truly sorry. I know it's utterly heartbreaking, but it's time to put this squarely back on her shoulders. She's a big girl.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 478085, member: 8"] Kathy - I'm just so very very sorry she's putting you thru this, and I have to say I'm more than a little peeved at her as well. When is enough enough? I agree with- Janet - she knows exactly what she's doing to you with- all these wonderfully informative texts. Time to study up on those detached responses in archives. "Gee, honey, sorry about roomie's boyfriend's eye. Hope he recovers soon." "Gee honey, sorry living arrangements I am paying for aren't working out - hope you can come up with a better alternative soon." When thank you was at his worst, I quickly learned to avoid asking simple questions like "How are you?", because sure as shooting, he would tell me and it just tore me up. I really *didn't* want to know. We end up in a teeny tiny little box - a kid who can't/won't get help, stick with programs, who we love to pieces and who is just shredding our very heart. We want to help, but any help will be abused. I heard it all - the best shelters, the best soup kitchens, hanging out in Boys Town with the other street kids. It was horrible, Kathy. He didn't want my "help", he wanted to do what he wanted to do - if I would finance him, all the better. When I quit letting him hear my emotional response, when all he got was "that's nice" or "sorry to hear that", he at least stopped trying to inhale me into his little dysfunctional world. How much longer can *you* keep this up? You deserve a break, hon. She has got to figure it out for herself now. Heaven knows, if you could fix it for her, it would've been done a *long* time ago. I'm truly sorry. I know it's utterly heartbreaking, but it's time to put this squarely back on her shoulders. She's a big girl. [/QUOTE]
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