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On pins and needles...authorities are closing in
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 654848" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Coming in late, Weary. I've been working. You are a good mother. Your child is actually a good child. Drug use messes everything up. </p><p></p><p>Everything.</p><p></p><p>We need to be strong enough to see them through it. It is a hard and painful and hopeless place to be. You did not do this, and your child did not do it. Not really, she didn't. What we need to figure out, as their moms, is how best to respond. Sometimes, and I have been there, too, it gets to be about living through the next moments, the next hours, the next days.</p><p></p><p>This is not easy.</p><p></p><p>Give yourself that credit, that grace.</p><p></p><p>There is no right answer. </p><p></p><p>You are doing the best you know.</p><p></p><p>Love her, cherish both your child and yourself. I do know that when the kids stop using drugs, they are our same sweet children. When they are using, and addiction is not something so easy to turn away from, they are not our children.</p><p></p><p>They are hateful, manipulative addicts.</p><p></p><p>We must excuse that in them. But we must be very wise. If our children are addicted, we need to face that true thing. We must learn to deal with the addiction. Our children are trapped in there somewhere, this is true. But when the addiction has them, we need to deal with the addiction.</p><p></p><p>We cannot change that for them.</p><p></p><p>They need to marshal the strength to beat the addiction on their own.</p><p></p><p>That is the one true thing we can know, for ourselves, and for them.</p><p></p><p>Read on Substance Abuse. Read here. When people stop using, they are themselves, again. When that happens? They do not need us. So, when they need us...that is when we cannot help. Then, it is time for us to learn to survive saying no to your own needy, addicted child. There are tools. We know some of them. We have been where you are.</p><p></p><p>We made it.</p><p></p><p>Our children are wherever they are in their process.</p><p></p><p>I am so sorry this happened to you and to your child.</p><p></p><p>You are here with us.</p><p></p><p>It is what it is.</p><p></p><p>But we are here, together, and that is better than alone.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 654848, member: 17461"] Coming in late, Weary. I've been working. You are a good mother. Your child is actually a good child. Drug use messes everything up. Everything. We need to be strong enough to see them through it. It is a hard and painful and hopeless place to be. You did not do this, and your child did not do it. Not really, she didn't. What we need to figure out, as their moms, is how best to respond. Sometimes, and I have been there, too, it gets to be about living through the next moments, the next hours, the next days. This is not easy. Give yourself that credit, that grace. There is no right answer. You are doing the best you know. Love her, cherish both your child and yourself. I do know that when the kids stop using drugs, they are our same sweet children. When they are using, and addiction is not something so easy to turn away from, they are not our children. They are hateful, manipulative addicts. We must excuse that in them. But we must be very wise. If our children are addicted, we need to face that true thing. We must learn to deal with the addiction. Our children are trapped in there somewhere, this is true. But when the addiction has them, we need to deal with the addiction. We cannot change that for them. They need to marshal the strength to beat the addiction on their own. That is the one true thing we can know, for ourselves, and for them. Read on Substance Abuse. Read here. When people stop using, they are themselves, again. When that happens? They do not need us. So, when they need us...that is when we cannot help. Then, it is time for us to learn to survive saying no to your own needy, addicted child. There are tools. We know some of them. We have been where you are. We made it. Our children are wherever they are in their process. I am so sorry this happened to you and to your child. You are here with us. It is what it is. But we are here, together, and that is better than alone. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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