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One of those Neverending Irrational Conversations with a difficult child......
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<blockquote data-quote="welcometowitsend" data-source="post: 543272" data-attributes="member: 14356"><p>Thank you for your replies. </p><p></p><p>TeDo- I wish I could always find the right words and phrasing for difficult child. I am obviously not very good at it. Although, sometimes it seems as though no matter how you word something they take it the wrong way. A couple of weeks ago difficult child befriended a girl at a car show (he was with my dad) and it turns out she has just turned 13! Ack! So, husband and I told him it would be best to stop communicating with her. He decides he wants to be friends and is not going to pursue the girlfriend thing with her. I tried to encourage him to not even pursue a friendship - after all he is 3.5 years older than her and it just isn't appropriate but he doesn't get that. Anyway, I had a conversation with him about statutory rape and age of consent - that kind of thing. Just warning him to be careful and protect himself and he took that as me calling him a rapist. Ugh. I really approached it in a gentle, we are trying to look out for you and protect you from these girls who sometimes lie about their age way but he still took it wrong. Sigh. </p><p></p><p>Whatamess - You are probably right. He was already on the verge of a meltdown without any help from me. I'm sure I could have handled it differently and possibly avoided 9+ hours of off and on arguing (mostly on). </p><p></p><p>Indeeptrouble - I'm glad you finally got a diagnosis. Now you can start looking for appropriate help for your difficult child. We are waiting on a psychiatric appointment. and a paediatrician appointment as well - both mid-August. Hoping for some answers then. </p><p></p><p>The thing I have trouble reconciling with Aspie is that this behaviour only started within the last year. difficult child was never like this before. I could talk to him about issues and he understood the meaning and intent behind our conversations. He didn't take things out of context - at all. </p><p></p><p>That and he is very social - he always has a friend to hang out with. Every day it is someone new. Girls are falling all over themselves to be with him because he can be quite charming and his smile would just about melt anyone's heart. I'm embarrassed to admit this but he has 6 girls that are 'sharing' him right now. Ugh! I don't know if he is having sex with all of them but I suspect he is having sex with some of them. I found condoms in his wallet and another bag of condoms (from the public health department - thank God for them!) in his room last week. He must have replenished them or put them in his backpack because all of the condoms are now gone! He has actually been scheduling visits with different girls almost daily lately. </p><p></p><p>This is what confuses me about the possibility of him being an Aspie - it just doesn't jive, you know? He can come across as lacking emotion sometimes and his emotions tend to be flatter than most (Ie. he is never really happy or joyous) unless the emotions are anger related or sadness and then he can be very extreme in his emotions. </p><p></p><p>I am at a loss as to what to do. He seems to be one of the most irrational, self-indulgent people I've ever met. I can't ground him or try to force him to stay home. He will just leave and the police will do nothing because he is 16 and legally allowed to move out on his own if he wants to. I feel like I just need to try and have as much positive influence over him as possible, try to get him help and keep him as safe as possible as long as I can. </p><p></p><p>Somehow I feel like having a name or some letters will give me some understanding into who he is and why he acts the way he does. Maybe they won't. I'm pinning my hope on these doctors appointments because I am a very pro-active person and I want to DO something for him to help him (or for him to help himself) but I don't know which way to go. Once I have some answers I'm hoping to move in the right direction. The waiting is so hard.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="welcometowitsend, post: 543272, member: 14356"] Thank you for your replies. TeDo- I wish I could always find the right words and phrasing for difficult child. I am obviously not very good at it. Although, sometimes it seems as though no matter how you word something they take it the wrong way. A couple of weeks ago difficult child befriended a girl at a car show (he was with my dad) and it turns out she has just turned 13! Ack! So, husband and I told him it would be best to stop communicating with her. He decides he wants to be friends and is not going to pursue the girlfriend thing with her. I tried to encourage him to not even pursue a friendship - after all he is 3.5 years older than her and it just isn't appropriate but he doesn't get that. Anyway, I had a conversation with him about statutory rape and age of consent - that kind of thing. Just warning him to be careful and protect himself and he took that as me calling him a rapist. Ugh. I really approached it in a gentle, we are trying to look out for you and protect you from these girls who sometimes lie about their age way but he still took it wrong. Sigh. Whatamess - You are probably right. He was already on the verge of a meltdown without any help from me. I'm sure I could have handled it differently and possibly avoided 9+ hours of off and on arguing (mostly on). Indeeptrouble - I'm glad you finally got a diagnosis. Now you can start looking for appropriate help for your difficult child. We are waiting on a psychiatric appointment. and a paediatrician appointment as well - both mid-August. Hoping for some answers then. The thing I have trouble reconciling with Aspie is that this behaviour only started within the last year. difficult child was never like this before. I could talk to him about issues and he understood the meaning and intent behind our conversations. He didn't take things out of context - at all. That and he is very social - he always has a friend to hang out with. Every day it is someone new. Girls are falling all over themselves to be with him because he can be quite charming and his smile would just about melt anyone's heart. I'm embarrassed to admit this but he has 6 girls that are 'sharing' him right now. Ugh! I don't know if he is having sex with all of them but I suspect he is having sex with some of them. I found condoms in his wallet and another bag of condoms (from the public health department - thank God for them!) in his room last week. He must have replenished them or put them in his backpack because all of the condoms are now gone! He has actually been scheduling visits with different girls almost daily lately. This is what confuses me about the possibility of him being an Aspie - it just doesn't jive, you know? He can come across as lacking emotion sometimes and his emotions tend to be flatter than most (Ie. he is never really happy or joyous) unless the emotions are anger related or sadness and then he can be very extreme in his emotions. I am at a loss as to what to do. He seems to be one of the most irrational, self-indulgent people I've ever met. I can't ground him or try to force him to stay home. He will just leave and the police will do nothing because he is 16 and legally allowed to move out on his own if he wants to. I feel like I just need to try and have as much positive influence over him as possible, try to get him help and keep him as safe as possible as long as I can. Somehow I feel like having a name or some letters will give me some understanding into who he is and why he acts the way he does. Maybe they won't. I'm pinning my hope on these doctors appointments because I am a very pro-active person and I want to DO something for him to help him (or for him to help himself) but I don't know which way to go. Once I have some answers I'm hoping to move in the right direction. The waiting is so hard. [/QUOTE]
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