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Ongoing tension
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<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 111325"><p>Yep. What Star said.</p><p></p><p>You said that you want husband to leave, but he's not going gracefully. Does that mean you've told husband you want him to leave and he's dragging his feet or refusing?</p><p></p><p>Contact an attorney to learn your rights. You can usually get a free consultation. If not, consultations are usually under $100. Some employers have plans where employees get free consultations with professionals, including attorneys. Even if you don't act on any of it, it's good information to have should you need it.</p><p></p><p>As far as the criticism from husband: his coping mechanism is alcohol. As long as he's drinking, he really has no room to criticize. Think about it. If it were just some person that you knew - but weren't married to - who was an alcoholic, how much stock would you give their criticism of how you handle things? They really aren't the picture of healthy coping, Know what I mean?? </p><p></p><p>I think of my uncle (one of the many, many alcoholics in my family - but one of the most vocal - he's sooo proud of himself) talking loudly with his slurred speech and unsteady stance telling me and anyone else how I or they should be doing this or that. I just say sarcastically ...'Yeah, Mike. I'll get right on that' and walk away. </p><p></p><p>Not only that, but husband is exacerbating the situation with his drinking and criticism and then telling you that you're not handling it well. :slap: You don't get to create the stress and then be critical of those having to deal with the fallout. It doesn't work that way.</p><p></p><p>husband is the only one that can fix husband. He's a big boy. Your focus is you and your son. </p><p></p><p>(((((hugs)))))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 111325"] Yep. What Star said. You said that you want husband to leave, but he's not going gracefully. Does that mean you've told husband you want him to leave and he's dragging his feet or refusing? Contact an attorney to learn your rights. You can usually get a free consultation. If not, consultations are usually under $100. Some employers have plans where employees get free consultations with professionals, including attorneys. Even if you don't act on any of it, it's good information to have should you need it. As far as the criticism from husband: his coping mechanism is alcohol. As long as he's drinking, he really has no room to criticize. Think about it. If it were just some person that you knew - but weren't married to - who was an alcoholic, how much stock would you give their criticism of how you handle things? They really aren't the picture of healthy coping, Know what I mean?? I think of my uncle (one of the many, many alcoholics in my family - but one of the most vocal - he's sooo proud of himself) talking loudly with his slurred speech and unsteady stance telling me and anyone else how I or they should be doing this or that. I just say sarcastically ...'Yeah, Mike. I'll get right on that' and walk away. Not only that, but husband is exacerbating the situation with his drinking and criticism and then telling you that you're not handling it well. [img]:slap:[/img] You don't get to create the stress and then be critical of those having to deal with the fallout. It doesn't work that way. husband is the only one that can fix husband. He's a big boy. Your focus is you and your son. (((((hugs))))) [/QUOTE]
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