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General Parenting
Only in France (sorry Ktllc :))
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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 536253" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>I think it was the aspect of the <em>certainty</em> of their words and the fact that, according to the childminder, they would have "failed" her for this response except for the fact that they were friendly with her husband (who works as a security guard in a supermarket) that shocked me.... It is perhaps, again, simply a question of cultural priority. In Britain, I think, the aspect that would take priority would be that of the agreement between childminder and parent. As long as it was not dangerous to the child, obviously, a childminder must carry out the instructions of the parent. But it's a long time since I lived in Britain, which has gone kind of regulation crazy, so I could be wrong about that... </p><p>Punishment is more controversial than these ladies seem to think. Some respected educators and writers do not believe in the concept at all, under whatever name. I don't think Ross Greene believes in it, for example. As I said to the childminder, the question for me is how to make it clear that certain boundaries exist without having recourse to punishment. I know she herself doesn't really believe in what I'm saying or understand it - I find her very harsh and critical with her own son, very intent on having all the "power" (not with her daughter), and not very child-centred. But she is also just an ordinary, decent woman trying to do her best by her lights. People have different views and experiences. All I know is that continuially scolding and punishing a child damages her/his self-image and this is what J's teacher is doing and for which I really resent her, frankly!</p><p>Middle of the night here and I can't sleep... too hot!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 536253, member: 11227"] I think it was the aspect of the [I]certainty[/I] of their words and the fact that, according to the childminder, they would have "failed" her for this response except for the fact that they were friendly with her husband (who works as a security guard in a supermarket) that shocked me.... It is perhaps, again, simply a question of cultural priority. In Britain, I think, the aspect that would take priority would be that of the agreement between childminder and parent. As long as it was not dangerous to the child, obviously, a childminder must carry out the instructions of the parent. But it's a long time since I lived in Britain, which has gone kind of regulation crazy, so I could be wrong about that... Punishment is more controversial than these ladies seem to think. Some respected educators and writers do not believe in the concept at all, under whatever name. I don't think Ross Greene believes in it, for example. As I said to the childminder, the question for me is how to make it clear that certain boundaries exist without having recourse to punishment. I know she herself doesn't really believe in what I'm saying or understand it - I find her very harsh and critical with her own son, very intent on having all the "power" (not with her daughter), and not very child-centred. But she is also just an ordinary, decent woman trying to do her best by her lights. People have different views and experiences. All I know is that continuially scolding and punishing a child damages her/his self-image and this is what J's teacher is doing and for which I really resent her, frankly! Middle of the night here and I can't sleep... too hot! [/QUOTE]
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