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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 330675" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>It's a delicate line to tred and I don't envy you. I do think, however, that</p><p>he is old enough to understand the concept that you have issues from your childhood and understand that he has issues from his childhood too.</p><p>Chances are he would understand if you said "Look, difficult child, I know that you</p><p>probably would like to know all about the negative things in my early life</p><p>BUT I don't believe it would help you OR me to move on with our new life</p><p>in a positive way. Your Uncle and your Grandma have many wonderful</p><p>(or maybe just "good", lol) traits. There are negative traits (or traits that cause concern?) as well. Until you and I have settled our family in a groove that is best for you and me I do not want x contact with them.</p><p>Can you understand that and work with me?"</p><p> </p><p>All kids are focused on themselves. difficult children especially focus on the here and now and mostly self. Much energy will be needed to establish healthier bonds between you two AND get him settled again in the real world. He</p><p>should understand prioritizing and probably embrace it is it is focused on him. Fingers crossed. DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 330675, member: 35"] It's a delicate line to tred and I don't envy you. I do think, however, that he is old enough to understand the concept that you have issues from your childhood and understand that he has issues from his childhood too. Chances are he would understand if you said "Look, difficult child, I know that you probably would like to know all about the negative things in my early life BUT I don't believe it would help you OR me to move on with our new life in a positive way. Your Uncle and your Grandma have many wonderful (or maybe just "good", lol) traits. There are negative traits (or traits that cause concern?) as well. Until you and I have settled our family in a groove that is best for you and me I do not want x contact with them. Can you understand that and work with me?" All kids are focused on themselves. difficult children especially focus on the here and now and mostly self. Much energy will be needed to establish healthier bonds between you two AND get him settled again in the real world. He should understand prioritizing and probably embrace it is it is focused on him. Fingers crossed. DDD [/QUOTE]
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