Our 15 yo son is in Juvi and we are afraid to take him back home

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Discouraged Dad, Feb 28, 2011.

  1. Discouraged Dad

    Discouraged Dad New Member

    New to this site and asking for advice:

    Need help.

    Like everyone, its a LONG story. Long story short-ish: Our 15 year old son, who we adopted from Korea at 7 months, is in juvenile detention for another 10 days (30 days for violating probation - threats to family saying he would kill us, etc, etc, etc) and we are at the point where we feel we can not parent him and he will put me, my wife, and our two other children at risk of physical and emotional harm. We really feel like the situation has escalated and he will snap and do serious harm to us when he comes home. We have tried intensive family conselling with DSHS, been to several therapists, psychiatrists, psychologists, etc off and end since he was 4 years old. His psychologist diagnosed him as CD, antisocial character traits, and we believe Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). He lies, steals, yells, threatens, etc. difficult child states he will not take any medications and the psycologist said, in his case, he did not think it would help much, if at all anyway. He highly recommends a structured therapeutic boarding school for him but at $4k to $10k a month we can not do this.

    We need help to see how we can get the courts (Washington State) to keep him and put him in state care (children's hospital and then Residential Treatment Center (RTC)), or a therapeutic foster home. He has kicked-in our bedroom door, kicked holes in the walls, threatened to kill us, or have his friends kill us and he says he does not want to live with us. Our whole family is stressed and scared. He is on probation for lying to a police officer and drugs possession so the court said we did not need an At Risk Youth petion. DSHS (government agency) gave us a month of intensive family therapy and said they can not do anything more. The social worker sent me a link to private therapeutic boarding school sites and health/school loan sites. We do not qualify.

    I feel bad saying that we want the state to keep and help him, but we really feel like we have tried everything else and we can not influence him now. I started secretly recording him when he has a total meltdown and the threats and out-of-control yelling are unbelievable. He is really damaging our other kids and he keeps taking it to a higher level.

    Sorry about the long story. We need advice on how to get the state to keep and help him. We have started researching a Dependency petition or trying to see how we can make him a Ward of the court. Can we just state that we can not take him back because we feel it is unsafe for our other kids? If anyone has experience or knowledge on options it would help.

    Thanks,

    Discouraged Dad
     
  2. rlsnights

    rlsnights New Member

    Hi Discouraged Dad -

    Welcome to the board. Glad you found us and sorry you need us.

    You have a friend you don't know about in Washington state. She is in a similar position with their son and has been through much of the same things you are describing. She too is a newbie and here's a link to her post.

    http://www.conductdisorders.com/forum/f6/newbie-quest-further-answers-38878/

    One of my replies to her included a link to a website with links to a wide variety of services for at risk/out of control youth in Washington.

    If you don't know about CHINS then you should be looking into that process. It is an acronym for Child In Need of Supervision. You will have to see exactly how it works there but it may be the next step in the process of getting your son out of your home.

    A lot of times children who need Residential Treatment Center (RTC) are placed there through the combined agreement of the school district (using an Emotionally disturbed identification) and your county or other regional source of funding and foster care services. You don't say where the school stands in this mess so I just thought I'd mention that.

    I'm sorry I don't have any answers really. You may want to talk to your local police about how to handle things when/if your son is released and he gets violent again. Taping his threats and violent behavior is a good idea in my opinion. Otherwise it is your word against his about what happened should he get violent and you have to physically restrain him or defend yourself and he gets hurt.

    I have twice encountered families that decided to live separately until the difficult child could be legally kicked out of the home. Both times one parent took the other children and lived separately while one parent lived with the difficult child in hopes of reducing the trauma inflicted on the other children and in response to safety concerns.

    Hugs,

    Patricia
     
  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I think this is beyond CHINS, in my humble opinion, and I think that's what he meant when he said because the teen is already in juvie for breaking the law, they don't need to file for that. Different states handle this stuff differently although they seem to be handling it a lot more similarly since no one hsa funding anymore. MST was all they would offer mine even though he;d been in a psychiatric hospital 6 times and Residential Treatment Center (RTC) was recommended for him, too- for different reasons. Here, a ward of the state means 1 of 2 things- he either gets put in the custody of Department of Juvenile Justice or dss. While in juvie detention, they are not considered a ward of the state. I think you should go to dss or call juvie intake and asked the procedure for filing for "relief of custody" with dss. Even though that means dss takes custody, many states have you file at juvie intake office. I'd start that process. In the meantime, if he gets returned home, you can call police and file charges any time he becomes physically agreessive, is out in the middle of the night, does any drugs and leaves evidence, etc. That would eventually get it back into court for more charges and could get him turned over to Department of Juvenile Justice where he would be sent to juvie prison- that makes him a ward of the state as well although technically, you are still the parent and will be expected to take him back upon his release unnless you use that time to get him turned over to dss. It seems almlost impossible anymore for a kid's family to get help payiing or getting the kid accepted to Residential Treatment Center (RTC) if the family can't afford it and the kid isn't in the dss system already. There might also be some relief through an agency that helps with adoptions that "go bad" but I don't know anything about those-- other members here might be able to offer suggestions about that.
     
  4. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I am sorry that you are having to go through this. Your story is very similar to ours, we adopted our difficult child too and spent years and thousands of dollars on therapy that did not help. We limped along until she turned 18 and now at 19 we finally kicked her out of the house. She is an alocoholic/addict and spent two months in rehab and six weeks in intensive outpatient to no avail. I am in agony over this turn of events but am coming to terms with the fact that we can't help her any longer.

    I wish I had an answer for you, but I would suggest that you consult an attorney before taking any action giving up parental control. In our state that could have been considered abandonment and my husband's professional license would have been at stake.

    Take care and I hope you find some answers.

    Nancy
     
  5. GB_42_XYZ

    GB_42_XYZ Member

    What is his behavior/attitude like in juvie? Mine was like "I'm sorry, I was stupid....I'm not going to hang around with those other kids anymore... I'm going to stay low, just focus on school...blah, blah, blah." That lasted for a few days. But then he was never in juvie for more than a few weeks.

    We looked into RTCs but the only one that would accept him didn't seem like a good fit. He would have gone ballistic and hurt someone to get throw out.

    I feel your pain, although I am closer to the light at the end of the tunnel than you. My son will be 18 in less than a year. When he's off the deep end he's scary to be around.
     
  6. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Just wanted to add my welcome. Sorry that things have gone so wrong. I have had experience with Juvie but none with the violence or the threat of violence so I'm not qualified to input. By some miracle does he have a caring PO? We had one who was compasionate and quite knowledgeable although the others were paper pushers. If your PO is caring perhaps he could be a guide to out of home placement. Sending support your way. DDD
     
  7. Discouraged Dad

    Discouraged Dad New Member

    Hi,

    Yes, he can be the model child for short periods of time. He can keep it together for a short period of time when he is trying to make a good impression or get something he wants. Yes, it seems impossible that we all will survive until he turns 18.
     
  8. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I strongly urge you to consult an attorney ASAP - before he gets released from juvie. The release pattern from juvie seems to be that they give you a call the day before (if you are lucky) or the morning that they want you to come and get him. They don't seem to give you much notice.

    You also need to contact Victim's Services and a domestic Violence Center. Victim's Services should help you file a restraining order or temporary protection order. Every member of the family needs one so that he CANNOT come near you. This is because he has made credible threats against your lives and has assaulted you. Even if you have not pressed charges for these in the past you need to go ahead and file.

    The lawyer can also help you with that. If you cannot afford an attorney, go to the legal aid office and also go to victim's services. If legal aid cannot/will not help, victim's services should. A restraining order is important because it puts teeth into the bite of the law if he violates it. It won't keep him from coming around and hurting you, but it will mean longer time in juvie if he does. In some areas it means he will be tried as an adult instead of a juvenile.

    The lawyer should be able to tell you how to turn custody over to the state or otherwise force them to put him in foster care or a group home. You will likely be charged child support calculated on your income and the number of children in the home. I don't think you can disrupt the adoption because it was from another country. The lawyer will know more about that. The lawyer should be able to help with a restraining order. If the lawyer tries to tell you that you cannot file a restraining order against your own child, don't take his word for it. He may be correct, but go to victim's services anyway and ask them to help. If nothing else ask them to at least submit it and let you speak to a judge.

    You need to go to the domestic violence center for several reasons. They can help you figure out what your options are. Stress that you need to protect your wife and your other children from him. They will have resources that other sources do not. It is why you go to all of these groups - each one may have something that the others do not know about. The domestic violence center will also set up counselling for the entire family at NO cost to you. Each of you NEEDS this to deal with the reality that this teen has seriously abused each of you.

    After he is out of the home and the other kids learn that he isn't coming back there will be problems. They will be afraid you will kick them out too. You will need help to convince them otherwise. You also have to get them into therapy so that they can learn that they do NOT deserve to be abused and do NOT have to tolerate it. You will learn a LOT more about hwat he has done, and been doing, to them that you don't even have a clue of. I am sure they have hidden a LOT because they are terrifed of him. This all has to be dealt with in therapy. Counselors at DV centers are very experienced with the unique probelms created by violence in the family.

    It will be hard for you and wife to go and admit that you are victims of your child. I had to do this some years back. It was NOT fun, but it helped a LOT. Chances are you will get both group and individual therapy. You may not fit into the men's groups because they tend to be for abusers. You may be in a co-ed group for men and women who have been abused. Or just in individual therapy. Even if there are not other men int herapy as victims, you are NOT the only man who is a victim. Men just don't come forward as often, not nearly as often. It is important that your younger son sees you getting hel pto deal with this - it will show him that it is okay to talk about it, to admit that it is real and that he needs help.

    If they have not treated parents who have been abused by their kids it is ok. They can still help you but they may have to do some research and try new things. You can learn how to handle this together. I promise that you won't be the last one they treat for this. I was the first parent who came to our DV center because my child was beating me. I had forced the sheriff to remove him from my home. Then I went to the judge several times to ask for him to be placed in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) as his sentence for assaulting me. The judge and deputy infuriated me. The deputy would not fill out even an incident report (just says that they went to our home because I claimed my son assaulted me - does not put blame on him or establish any facts except that they came to our home because alleged assault) or give the judge any paperwork. I never did get ANY kind of report or paperwork from the legal system. Not even after the Youth Shelter threw my son out because he kept hugging the girls - did not last 24 hours there.

    The first two sessions at the DV center were incredible for me. Largely because they believed me. From there they helped me fight my way out of the numbness of shock, through the agony and pain and rage and all the other feelings to now - where things are pretty darn great. My son managed to turn himself around, but he does NOT have the problems your son does. Given your son's problems I would NOT be hopeful of a major turnaround for him. It just does not seem to be a realistic expectation for a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), esp after they have moved to the point that they are assaulting you and attempting to kill you.

    I think your goal should be to turn your difficult child over to foster care. An attorney would be the best person to help you do that, to hopefully avoid being charged with abandonment. If they must charge you with that, it would be preferable to the stress of your life now or to planning your or your wife's funeral. Make sure you knwo what yoru employers will do if you are charged. I would hope and pray that the charges would be dropped after the DA saw the documentation of the problems and all you ahve done to help your son and his assaults and threats against you.

    You also need restrainng orders - these can usually be gotten fairly quickly. Make this the first thing you file for. Go to Victim's Services, and a domestic Violence Center to find out what resources they have available for you and what their advice is.

    KEEP COMING HERE. You will not find another group of people like this one. No one here will judge you or blame you. We will offer support, advice, friendship and understanding. while we have not all had to insist on sending a child to foster care, we have all lived with children who do things that no one believes, at least at first. We have been there done that and are here for you.

    I am sorry that you needed to find us, but am glad that you joined us.
     
  9. Discouraged Dad

    Discouraged Dad New Member

    Wow, I appreciate all the energy and information. The whole spiralling out of control with our difficult child has really sucked the energy out of all of us. It is amazing how daunting everything seems. I feel paralyzed at times because even though I know it is not getting any better, I feel terrible that I can't connect with and help him.

    One of my concerns with reporting it as domestic assault is that even though he often goes into a rage, he has at most pushed me. He can easily escalate from quiet, to full on yelling, swearing, threatening "How would it f*ing feel if your wife had a knife stuck in her gut!" or "I can f*ing burn this house down with everyone in it and I would be happy!" He has kicked and broken our bedroom door in to confront us, kicked holes in the hallway and his bedroom walls, slammed and broken dishes, etc. He usually threatens and then tries to intimidate or provoke me by raising his fists or some object. I have never hit him and he has never hit me or my wife (yet). He has slightly pushed and threatened. However he has never hit or directly threatened something like "I am going to kill you". He always seems to phrase it in a way that somehow lessens it. He yelled at his mom, " I could easily kill your husband and bury him in the back yard. How would that make you feel?" Thats the hard part because it would seem to be so much clearer to me if he would cross some line and punch me or say "I am going to kill you when I get out". Then it might seem clearer (without any second guessing). Yes, there is that guilt from not being a "good enough" parent to make him happy and behave properly. I know this is not the case but never the less the guilt is there deep down.

    Thus, I feel like if I call this domestic violence center, they are going to ask " has he directly assaulted you or your wife". Then, I am going to say wellllll, no, BUT he has done everything else besides this and I believe he is very close to this next step. Yes, he and his younger brother have hit, punched, kicked each other at times, but that is well within the normal range for most brothers. Yes, he has threatened a court employee, a teacher, other kids, claimed to have killed someone, been expelled from school, claimed to have dealt and appears to be planning again to deal drugs, run away twice, etc, etc. I know breaking things is considered domestic assault, but I guess I am assuming that they will say that he has not hit us yet so they can not help us.

    I totally agree with you that all of us have to go through some type of therapy to make sure we all understand it is not Ok to be treated this way. I am sure I will be surprized when I find out how much our other kids have been harrassed and threatened that we do not know about yet.

    I have talked to some people, but I have not thought about Victim's Services or Domestic Violence centers because my wife and I have not been punched or stabbed yet. Of course, our difficult child says we are the worst parents and tells everyone who will listen that he has not done anything wrong and we don't care about him, don't listen to him, punish him for nothing, etc, etc. I am sure he will claim we neglect or treat him badly. That abandonment issue seems ridiculous, but it still seems like a very real possibility. My wife works on staff at a school. Do you know if an educator could lose her job over it?

    I really appreciate all the information and support. We are now scrambling on trying to get him into a residential treatment center because his drug/alcohol evaluation looks like it will recommend it. We really want/NEED him to go directly from juvi to Residential Treatment Center (RTC). I don't know if this is good or bad for the long haul, but it will at least give us more time to find a long term solution and live in relative peace for awhile.

    I will talk to the domestic violence center and victims services and see if they can assist.

    I was happy to read that you and your son survived those years and are happy and getting along. Thank you for responding.
     
  10. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I'm not sure you can go to a domestic violence place over a minor you have custody of anyway. I think you pretty much have to stick to juvenile courts intake. Fortunately, he has stuck with the misdemeanor level damage to house and verbal assualts so far. Stll, if he comes home and continues to do that, I would recommend reporting it to juvenile authorities and demanding they do something IF you can't find any help any other way. If you don't, it will worsen. I made this mistake with my son who is now in juvie prison for the second time and both committing offenses were offenses against me. The first one, he held a knife up to me and demanded I get him cigarettes. Within a couple of months after being released from 14 months of incarceration for that, he used a knife to cut my pockets in a pair of shorts while I was asleep to steal my money. I had been in the habit of sleeping with money, keys, etc, in my pockets. Anyway, just a warning- these things usually don't get better on there own and usually get a lot worse without serious intervention of some sort. My son did these things after a few years of damaging the house and so forth. I will say he has never verbalized threats to kill me. I am his bio mom so I don't know- but clearly, if he pulled sa knife on me to intimidate me into giving him what he wanted and then after being so-called rehabilitated, robbed me with a knife while I slept, he's out of control.

    So I completely understand the emotional fireworks you are feeling. I still am going through that. I bounce from guilt to anger to hurt to fear for me to fear for my son to worry for him, etc. Still, I love him more than anything. I just hope someday he can get a grip on himself and maybe we'll at least be able to talk thru some of this. But i can't see it happening until he matures more and works some issues out for himself. His father was never in his life and this has caused him a great deal of pain. These kids that grow up feeling like even one parent rejected them can really struggle with their own identity, anger, self-confidence, have trust issues, etc. They do go thru a lot of pain. Of course, that doesn't justify treating those that do care about them like **** but you know how that goes when you're a teen.
     
  11. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    Hello Discouraged Dad. I am in the middle of a situation, very close to yours. I am exhausted, worn out and yet I again have some hope. Here is what has helped us.
    1. We did do residential care for 18 months, she was worse upon release because she chose to be- she did learn skills. ( we got help from family and church+ our own saved college money for this)We found a program that we actually fostered girls into our home each night once our child reached a high enough phase to come home at night. This made the program cheaper over the long hall.
    2. We called the police for every little break of the law and documented every incident- running away, homemade bongs, etc.
    3. We got her PO on our side. I emailed every event. I asked for her help- I even begged for it
    4. We stayed on our daughter so we were sure to eventually push a button that would get her arrested- we gave her consequences for everything, stripped her room, took away all priveledges ( of course we did this because that is good parenting but we were even more firm than usual.
    5. We got before a judge because she snapped and pushed us (physically) for the first time. Assault charges
    6. I had seen a lawyer(only 1 time) about what giving custody to the state would do to her and my husband and I. (We work for public schools) He also advised us to tell the judge exactly what we wanted and even the program.He said if we did this we would have a greater chance.
    7. I researched everything available through JRC or DCFS- found what she needed with DCFS ( therapeutic foster home plus intensive DBT day treatment)
    8. I asked the judge for a thorough assessment (observation and assessment)with the hope that she would be placed in the above treatment.
    9. I stayed persistent with the O and A people.
    10. She was transfered to DCFS custody last week and started DBT today.I have had to stay on top of everything as these people are overworked, underpaid and the agencies have a heck of a time communicating.
    11. I have had to be persistant, not very nice, demanding, and forth coming.
    12. It's not perfect, but at least our family has peace, she is safe and in treatment.
    13. The monthly child support is not cheap- but we are willing

    I wish you luck and hope you stay the course-care for yourself and your family. Hugs!
     
  12. Discouraged Dad

    Discouraged Dad New Member

    Hello ExhaustedinUtah,

    I appreciate your input, but I was hoping you help with some followup questions.

    1- When you talked with the lawyer, did you find out how Abandonment of a Child would affect your teaching credential, etc?
    2- Did you end up giving custody to the state and how did you do it?
    3 - Do you refuse to accept your daughter back and at that time explain to the judge that you were not safe from her?
    4- Do they file charges against you for abandonment?
    5 - My son sounds similar in that the psychologists recommend therapeutic foster care with the DBT. Did you find a program like this run by the state or do the contract it out to a private provider?
    6 - Is your difficult child a Ward of the Court now? Or did you file a Dependency Petition? Or, did you just refuse to take her back (Abandonment) and have the court proceed to ??? Just not sure how to get her to the point where she is with DSHS and they are putting her in a program.
    7 - Do they look at your tax returns and determine an amount based off that?
    8 - What do you have to pay monthly?
    9 - With the O and A, is that through a state facility and did the judge order that?
    10 - I am not sure if you went to DCFS first and were trying to obtain services through them or if the judge ordered her evaluation and placement and DCFS

    Yes, it does sound similar in a lot of ways, so I appreciate hearing about your experiences.
     
  13. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    daughter,

    If you have teaching credentials, you will need to tread carefully and being found guilty of child abandonment will impact that. My suggestion is to be proactive. Hire an attorney to file a CHINS petition tomorrow on an ex parte basis (the emergency being that he is about to be discharged from Juvi and needs placement).

    http://www.courts.wa.gov/forms/index.cfm?fa=forms.contribute&formID=19

    Call the domestic violence center -- the off-center threats are not uncommon. They are going to be concerned about you feeling threatened.
     
  14. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    Dad,
    1. The abondonment will affect your credentials only if they find you were abusive.Trying to get your kid help is a different ball of wax. I did have a chat with our human resource person as well as the lawyer. It was hard to share, but he said that my job was not in jeopardy. I also called DCFS and told them what I was going to be forced to to do. I asked if they could help me before things get too bad and they told me only if she was in the system-which meant we had to get before a judge-which we did. We did leave her at youth services and refuse custody once because she was a danger to herself. DCFS did call the next day and I explained-" I am trying to get her help". We are out of money and DESPERATE, the only right choice is to get her in state custody so services are available. She ran away from Youth services that night, and that ended that as she ended up coming home to us-we started all over again.
    2.The state has temporary custody as per the judge and the needed recommendations from O and A
    3.We did not need to refuse custody this time as she was already in temporary custody to get assessed. In our state, when children in the justice system have treatment needs more than criminal needs, they often have them assessed (45 day deal), so they can determine what is needed. It is kind of a gatekeeping thing, I also think it is a way control money. So if you get this assessment, provide them with all the stuff you have (past records) and I wrote an 8 page "blow by blow" of her life. I called often, I made sure they heard me and what I thought was best!
    3.There were no charges filed for abondonment when we did it, only the call that was pretty nasty to start until he got what I was trying to do. It did not play out though since she ran off and ended back at home- you may want a consult with a lawyer to see how your state works.
    4.OUr family phsycologist wrote a letter and spoke to her PO and the O and A team about Aubrey's need. When a professional is involved, it helps. One professional is less likely to recommend something different- I'd get the psychologist involved who made this recommend. Our has been a god send.
    5. We got to DCFS because her needs were therapeutic not criminal- like your son's. When you have all these mental illness issues, those have to be treated. The O and A team made the recommendation because of that and because I kept pushing it. We are going to need help for several years. The judge then gave temporary custody to DCFS in the hearing. A judge does not have to do what is recommended by the way. DCFS wanted us to take her home and offer wrap around service- I told the judge there was no way as she was a runner and the issues were mental health not a crappy family!
    6.They took 2 months pay slips. They determine an amount that would have left us in the poor house- we appealed. It is 1,000 a month, a lot for a teacher and custodian. We are making it- provided nothing breaks or we have an emergency.
    7.I did try DCFS and every noprofit around. I spent an entire day calling for help, in tears and exhausted. At the end of the day, our only hope was that she committ a crime (beyond running, truancy,and homemade bongs) and we get before a judge for help. Thank God he heard us and her PO was so responsive. Hang in, get your documents in a row, call everyone. Your teachers union may be able to help with a cheaper lawyer as well. Good things can happen.
     
    Last edited: Mar 6, 2011
  15. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    The DV center cannot take custody of your child. They CAN help you figure out what your rights are and how to enforce them - and it doesn't matter if the abuser is your child. THey can still help. THey can still go to court with you, help you find a lawyer, help with any/everything else.

    You say he hasn't "hit" you but has pushed you? THAT IS ABUSE JUST AS MUCH AS HITTING YOU IS. If you were a woman and your boyfriend pushed you when he was mad you WOULD be considered an abused woman (esp if you were hurt when he pushed you or you hit the wall, fell, etc....).

    My son headbutted me during the last rage he had in our home. In HIS mind it was "just" a headbutt, not hitting or being violent. He pushed me violently back into the edge of the bar and I had an awful bruise all along my back from where I hit. The cops said it was very clearly assault. Abuse isn't just hitting someone. Violence doesn't have to be dished out with a closed fist. They are much broader.

    PLEASE get an attorney and go to the DV center to get help. If you cannot afford a lawyer, or don't know how to find one, go ask the DV center to help you with this.

    Remember, you MUST protect the other children. Period. If your son hurts them and you ahven't done all you can to prevent it, you can be charged with child abuse or aiding child abuse (not stopping it is illegal just as child abuse it). So you are in a really TOUGH spot - you still have responsibilities to your child even though he is violent and abusing the rest of the children.

    This is why you NEED a lawyer. Add in the complexities from being a teacher and you cannot afford to NOT see an attorney.

    (((((hugs)))))
     
  16. gottaloveem

    gottaloveem Active Member

    Discouraged Dad,
    I'm so sorry you are going through this.
    I have no advice that is useful other than to tell you that you
    have found the right place to be. The parents here are very
    knowledgeable about these issues. No one will judge you or
    your son.

    I hope you find the help you need here.

    Love,
    Lia
     
  17. Discouraged Dad

    Discouraged Dad New Member

    I really appreciate just hearing it from someone else.
     
  18. Discouraged Dad

    Discouraged Dad New Member

    Thank you for all the specific answers. His chemical dependency assessment and the insurance came through for a 28 day Residential Treatment Center (RTC) ( more if insurance agrees at the end of this period ). Thus, I was lucky and found an open bed at one, but it is a 6 hour drive away. On Thursday I have to pick him up from juvi and take him there. He now does not want to go right away ( of course wants to hang out with friends and then set it up sometime after spring break - very predictable ) and told his lawyer he is going to runaway before I get him there. I am hoping he was just blowing off steam and will not run away. I am having his PO call him the morning before I pick him up to explain the rules and repercussions for not completing juvi time and program.

    I am sure not looking forward to a 6 hour road trip if he is all spun up. Once he gets in this program i am going to sit down with a lawyer. Thanks again.
     
  19. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Good luck! DDD
     
  20. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    Im so glad you have some days to recoupe and be a family. Please take care of yourself. Don't go alone on the drive if you can help it. Ask for support at the treatment center as well, maybe their recommendations will help the insurance cover more days. You may be surprized what can be offered. Good luck and hugs.
     
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