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Substance Abuse
Our difficult child has a baby!
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<blockquote data-quote="AppleCori" data-source="post: 586605" data-attributes="member: 16024"><p>Thanks for all the good advice. I needed to hear it, especially the one about how we should not stand in the way of difficult child growing up by enabling him!</p><p></p><p>husband has sometimes parented/enabled out of fear of being blamed if things go wrong. The X has conditioned him to believe everything is is responsibility and therefore his fault if anything bad happens. That is why husband did ALL the work signing difficult child up for college (after difficult child decided to go), paying for it, providing the car and gas to get there, nagging him to study, checked grades online, got him special help from his buddy who is in admin. at the college, reminded him of quizzes and tests, fought with difficult child for not wanting to do his homework or study, then had to hear how it was all his fault because difficult child never wanted to go to college in the first place. </p><p></p><p>Now difficult child mom says that dad promised to pay for difficult child's college so he needs to fulfill his promise. I think difficult child burned that bridge already!</p><p></p><p>As for difficult child and family coming to live with us, mom has been on a campaign to get us to take him back since we kicked him out one year ago. Guilt, manipulation, bargaining, dropping him off at our doorstep clothes in hand, and lately, making our visitation with 17yo difficult. </p><p></p><p>We did get a call from one of husband's buddies, regarding difficult child. Seems he is applying for jobs (yey!) however, he put this guy down as a personal reference (without asking him) and the guy is not sure what to do. difficult child has burned bridges with this guy BIG TIME and poor guy has been put in a difficult position. Geez....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AppleCori, post: 586605, member: 16024"] Thanks for all the good advice. I needed to hear it, especially the one about how we should not stand in the way of difficult child growing up by enabling him! husband has sometimes parented/enabled out of fear of being blamed if things go wrong. The X has conditioned him to believe everything is is responsibility and therefore his fault if anything bad happens. That is why husband did ALL the work signing difficult child up for college (after difficult child decided to go), paying for it, providing the car and gas to get there, nagging him to study, checked grades online, got him special help from his buddy who is in admin. at the college, reminded him of quizzes and tests, fought with difficult child for not wanting to do his homework or study, then had to hear how it was all his fault because difficult child never wanted to go to college in the first place. Now difficult child mom says that dad promised to pay for difficult child's college so he needs to fulfill his promise. I think difficult child burned that bridge already! As for difficult child and family coming to live with us, mom has been on a campaign to get us to take him back since we kicked him out one year ago. Guilt, manipulation, bargaining, dropping him off at our doorstep clothes in hand, and lately, making our visitation with 17yo difficult. We did get a call from one of husband's buddies, regarding difficult child. Seems he is applying for jobs (yey!) however, he put this guy down as a personal reference (without asking him) and the guy is not sure what to do. difficult child has burned bridges with this guy BIG TIME and poor guy has been put in a difficult position. Geez.... [/QUOTE]
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