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<blockquote data-quote="LittleDudesMom" data-source="post: 431892" data-attributes="member: 805"><p>wintak,</p><p></p><p>living with a difficult child is never, ever easy - rarely is it stress free - you are always, always on. Having said that, I will tell you that advocating firmly and loudly with the school and the doctors will help. Patience and little more love can also make a difference.</p><p></p><p>I'm not living in a rose colored world here. I don't think love can cure all. But consider how your son must feel inside. Do you think he would behave this way if he really had a choice? I'm not talking the seemingly deliberate actions which lead many parents to believe their difficult children have a choice. Kids want to be good. They don't want to hear "no" all the time, or be disciplined all the time, or be called out in front of the other students all the time. </p><p></p><p>I totally understand how you feel he is controlling the house. I get that you are at the end of your rope and the younger ones are suffering. I think you need to be very, very proactive with difficult child. You need to hold firm to clear expectation and consequences for them not being followed. Disengage with the battle and just give the commands. Spend some time alone with your son without the stressors of his behavior towards his sibs at the forefront. See what makes him tic. Find something he really enjoys and do it with him - just the two of you. Make sure he understands that he is loved as much as his young sibs. Confidence building is important.</p><p></p><p>When you go and see the psychiatrist, make sure you have some documentation of specific behavior issues you want addressed. Perhaps some written input from his teacher as well. The psychiatrist needs to understands how disruptive your home is. No child, easy child or difficult child, can grow positively in that atmosphere. </p><p></p><p>And I also agree that you need some "me" time. Can you arrange some time away to pamper you? You don't have to spend a lot of money on a spa or anything. Just a day to maybe see a movie, stroll the book store, go swimming at a ymca......</p><p></p><p>Sharon</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="LittleDudesMom, post: 431892, member: 805"] wintak, living with a difficult child is never, ever easy - rarely is it stress free - you are always, always on. Having said that, I will tell you that advocating firmly and loudly with the school and the doctors will help. Patience and little more love can also make a difference. I'm not living in a rose colored world here. I don't think love can cure all. But consider how your son must feel inside. Do you think he would behave this way if he really had a choice? I'm not talking the seemingly deliberate actions which lead many parents to believe their difficult children have a choice. Kids want to be good. They don't want to hear "no" all the time, or be disciplined all the time, or be called out in front of the other students all the time. I totally understand how you feel he is controlling the house. I get that you are at the end of your rope and the younger ones are suffering. I think you need to be very, very proactive with difficult child. You need to hold firm to clear expectation and consequences for them not being followed. Disengage with the battle and just give the commands. Spend some time alone with your son without the stressors of his behavior towards his sibs at the forefront. See what makes him tic. Find something he really enjoys and do it with him - just the two of you. Make sure he understands that he is loved as much as his young sibs. Confidence building is important. When you go and see the psychiatrist, make sure you have some documentation of specific behavior issues you want addressed. Perhaps some written input from his teacher as well. The psychiatrist needs to understands how disruptive your home is. No child, easy child or difficult child, can grow positively in that atmosphere. And I also agree that you need some "me" time. Can you arrange some time away to pamper you? You don't have to spend a lot of money on a spa or anything. Just a day to maybe see a movie, stroll the book store, go swimming at a ymca...... Sharon [/QUOTE]
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