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<blockquote data-quote="wintak" data-source="post: 432040" data-attributes="member: 11938"><p>Midwest, he is extremely aggressive with his younger siblings. Ebbs and flows, but when he's in his "mood" (my word for it) we do have to watch out for the younger two.</p><p></p><p>Do not take time for me because I'm usually dealing with him, dropping and picking up from school (my choice they do not go to the same school) and taking care of the 3 y.o. When I do not have the 3 y.o it's because I"m doing dr appts or school functions. So no, I'm maxed out and I know it. I know I need some me time but that's not in the cards. </p><p></p><p>I have TOLD the therapists/dr;s that he must feel horrible. He must feel like no one loves him, he must feel sad and alone. They tell me he doesn't know that feeling (yet) because he's never had the chance to feel it (he's been like this since 10 mos old) and he thinks what he feels now is "typical". When you ask him or read his journals he says he feels like he's loved, he feels like he loves his family etc. Now, truth be told, we did go down the avenue of making sure we hug him and tell him we love him and how much we like that he's a part of the family. That totally backfired. He hates to be hugged (or held and no, it's not a sensory thing) and when he gets mad he tells us that we must not love him and he doesn't feel a part of the family. we affirm we do and he is and it goes down from there.</p><p></p><p>There is nothing we have found that this kid LIKES to do. We did the "special" time every other night for months. Finally he told us that he didn't really want to spend time with us, he'd rather watch a movie alone. I can't FORCE him to spend time with me. And yes, I have resentment. Doesn't everyone at one time? I have resentment that I"m losing time with the other 2 as they grow up because I'm trying to put out fires with him. I am resentful that H and C have heard this type of family life since they were in utero. I'm resentful that we can't all get along. </p><p></p><p>Malika...how did you reclaim your lost love for you difficult child?</p><p></p><p>and yes, he's on concerta (which he didn't want to take this a.m. because it's just too much swallowing for him <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite11" alt=":rolleyes:" title="Roll Eyes :rolleyes:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":rolleyes:" /> oughta be a great day at school) and now Zyprexa. </p><p></p><p>My father in law said one time you just gotta love him more and that will make it better. I have loved that child so much I cry myself to sleep sometimes because I can't figure out how to make him "Better". It's destroying the family unit and no one can help me make him better. And yes, I DO think he's doing SOME of this on purpose. He has always done things on purpose to ...what's the phrase....push my buttons. But everyone, docs, therapists, many of you guys who have been dealing with this longer than me, keep saying everyone else has to change and not him. As an adult I can't wrap my head around that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="wintak, post: 432040, member: 11938"] Midwest, he is extremely aggressive with his younger siblings. Ebbs and flows, but when he's in his "mood" (my word for it) we do have to watch out for the younger two. Do not take time for me because I'm usually dealing with him, dropping and picking up from school (my choice they do not go to the same school) and taking care of the 3 y.o. When I do not have the 3 y.o it's because I"m doing dr appts or school functions. So no, I'm maxed out and I know it. I know I need some me time but that's not in the cards. I have TOLD the therapists/dr;s that he must feel horrible. He must feel like no one loves him, he must feel sad and alone. They tell me he doesn't know that feeling (yet) because he's never had the chance to feel it (he's been like this since 10 mos old) and he thinks what he feels now is "typical". When you ask him or read his journals he says he feels like he's loved, he feels like he loves his family etc. Now, truth be told, we did go down the avenue of making sure we hug him and tell him we love him and how much we like that he's a part of the family. That totally backfired. He hates to be hugged (or held and no, it's not a sensory thing) and when he gets mad he tells us that we must not love him and he doesn't feel a part of the family. we affirm we do and he is and it goes down from there. There is nothing we have found that this kid LIKES to do. We did the "special" time every other night for months. Finally he told us that he didn't really want to spend time with us, he'd rather watch a movie alone. I can't FORCE him to spend time with me. And yes, I have resentment. Doesn't everyone at one time? I have resentment that I"m losing time with the other 2 as they grow up because I'm trying to put out fires with him. I am resentful that H and C have heard this type of family life since they were in utero. I'm resentful that we can't all get along. Malika...how did you reclaim your lost love for you difficult child? and yes, he's on concerta (which he didn't want to take this a.m. because it's just too much swallowing for him :rolleye: oughta be a great day at school) and now Zyprexa. My father in law said one time you just gotta love him more and that will make it better. I have loved that child so much I cry myself to sleep sometimes because I can't figure out how to make him "Better". It's destroying the family unit and no one can help me make him better. And yes, I DO think he's doing SOME of this on purpose. He has always done things on purpose to ...what's the phrase....push my buttons. But everyone, docs, therapists, many of you guys who have been dealing with this longer than me, keep saying everyone else has to change and not him. As an adult I can't wrap my head around that. [/QUOTE]
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