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<blockquote data-quote="LookingForAnswers" data-source="post: 432176" data-attributes="member: 11937"><p>Malika ~ When I read this it really made me think about my husband and our difficult child's relationship. They used to be close...difficult child was a daddy's boy through and through. This past year, however, that seems to have changed. This past year has been particularly hard for difficult child. We haven't been able to get his medications right and his ODD is the worst it has ever been. It's always been sort-of underlying and the Depression and ADHD was the most prevalent disorders. The ODD has really driven a wedge between them. Usually when I get "fed up" and feel like I can't take it anymore, he steps up and he is the calm voice of reason...and vice versa. We have always been able to "tag out" so to speak. But lately...the past few months...it seems like he is just angry at him all the time and I know difficult child can sense it. At one time things were so bad in our home that me, husband, easy child all stayed in the garage because difficult child was so angry (during that time he was not taking the anti-depressant) and everything set him off into a rage so we just gave him space and tried not to set him off. It was during that time that I was at my lowest. But it was more pain than anger. One thing you said that really struck me was....</p><p></p><p>I know that my husband does take it personal because he feels so disrespected. When difficult child speaks to one of us disrespectfully it makes him so angry. I am not saying that I don't ever get mad because I do. But the anger goes away just as quick as it comes. I am not saying that I haven't ever lost my temper or gotten to the end of my rope because I have but I always find my way back. I know that there is so much of this that is out of his control and I always TRY think about that....but he can certainly test me! LOL! I love that child with all my heart and I fight everyday to not let these disorders ruin his life. I know that husband loves him with all his heart....I know that it tears him up inside that our difficult child has to deal with these disorders. I hope that husband can find away to deal with his feelings so that he can fix his fractured relationship with difficult child. Thanks for you post....it really opened my eyes up to what was going on with husband and difficult child.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="LookingForAnswers, post: 432176, member: 11937"] Malika ~ When I read this it really made me think about my husband and our difficult child's relationship. They used to be close...difficult child was a daddy's boy through and through. This past year, however, that seems to have changed. This past year has been particularly hard for difficult child. We haven't been able to get his medications right and his ODD is the worst it has ever been. It's always been sort-of underlying and the Depression and ADHD was the most prevalent disorders. The ODD has really driven a wedge between them. Usually when I get "fed up" and feel like I can't take it anymore, he steps up and he is the calm voice of reason...and vice versa. We have always been able to "tag out" so to speak. But lately...the past few months...it seems like he is just angry at him all the time and I know difficult child can sense it. At one time things were so bad in our home that me, husband, easy child all stayed in the garage because difficult child was so angry (during that time he was not taking the anti-depressant) and everything set him off into a rage so we just gave him space and tried not to set him off. It was during that time that I was at my lowest. But it was more pain than anger. One thing you said that really struck me was.... I know that my husband does take it personal because he feels so disrespected. When difficult child speaks to one of us disrespectfully it makes him so angry. I am not saying that I don't ever get mad because I do. But the anger goes away just as quick as it comes. I am not saying that I haven't ever lost my temper or gotten to the end of my rope because I have but I always find my way back. I know that there is so much of this that is out of his control and I always TRY think about that....but he can certainly test me! LOL! I love that child with all my heart and I fight everyday to not let these disorders ruin his life. I know that husband loves him with all his heart....I know that it tears him up inside that our difficult child has to deal with these disorders. I hope that husband can find away to deal with his feelings so that he can fix his fractured relationship with difficult child. Thanks for you post....it really opened my eyes up to what was going on with husband and difficult child. [/QUOTE]
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