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<blockquote data-quote="AnnieO" data-source="post: 432332" data-attributes="member: 6705"><p>First things first... HUGS!</p><p> </p><p>I can relate to how you feel. Sick and tired of parenting classes and being told you need to change how you react to the difficult child. With so-called "normal" children, this works. Not with most of our difficult children. </p><p> </p><p>From my perspective - I've taken Onyxx places with me, when I really wanted to go without her. I've spoken softly when she got upset (yelling did not help), and have gotten hurt anyway. I've shown Jett more attention, and he's not interested - he wants to watch TV/play video games/etc. (Then he complains we don't spend enough time with him. UGH.)</p><p> </p><p>I love my kids. They're not my bios, but they're mine in the sense of the heart. I do NOT always like them. In fact, there are times I wish they'd go away for a while so I could have some peace. I resent the snot out of Onyxx a lot - because she's ALWAYS got to be the center of attention, and if she's not, she'll get in trouble. And when she's not in trouble, she's monopolizing husband so that *I* don't get any time with him. Sometimes it seems like she runs my home. And I hate it. But it's not HER I hate. because I know down deep is my sweet little girl - and I see her frequently enough to remain hopeful.</p><p> </p><p>That said - any time anyone in the house is in danger - it's time to do something. And doing something isn't always easy. I watch out for Jett, and myself, and husband - because Onyxx <em>will</em> and <em>has</em> hurt us all. Elbowing Jett in the face "by accident" (changed course of walking to do so) is just one of the things I have to look for.</p><p> </p><p>We are ALL in counseling, and it seems to help us DEAL - even if Onyxx does not respond to us changing our reactions to her behavior - I can keep myself from getting an ulcer at least.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AnnieO, post: 432332, member: 6705"] First things first... HUGS! I can relate to how you feel. Sick and tired of parenting classes and being told you need to change how you react to the difficult child. With so-called "normal" children, this works. Not with most of our difficult children. From my perspective - I've taken Onyxx places with me, when I really wanted to go without her. I've spoken softly when she got upset (yelling did not help), and have gotten hurt anyway. I've shown Jett more attention, and he's not interested - he wants to watch TV/play video games/etc. (Then he complains we don't spend enough time with him. UGH.) I love my kids. They're not my bios, but they're mine in the sense of the heart. I do NOT always like them. In fact, there are times I wish they'd go away for a while so I could have some peace. I resent the snot out of Onyxx a lot - because she's ALWAYS got to be the center of attention, and if she's not, she'll get in trouble. And when she's not in trouble, she's monopolizing husband so that *I* don't get any time with him. Sometimes it seems like she runs my home. And I hate it. But it's not HER I hate. because I know down deep is my sweet little girl - and I see her frequently enough to remain hopeful. That said - any time anyone in the house is in danger - it's time to do something. And doing something isn't always easy. I watch out for Jett, and myself, and husband - because Onyxx [I]will[/I] and [I]has[/I] hurt us all. Elbowing Jett in the face "by accident" (changed course of walking to do so) is just one of the things I have to look for. We are ALL in counseling, and it seems to help us DEAL - even if Onyxx does not respond to us changing our reactions to her behavior - I can keep myself from getting an ulcer at least. [/QUOTE]
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