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Out of control 18 year old Daughter
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<blockquote data-quote="rejectedmom" data-source="post: 523306" data-attributes="member: 2315"><p>Ny is not the only state that has 21 as legal age. When I lived in MD I delt with the same thing with my difficult child#1. She was violent to me abusive to her sibs and non compliant with her medications and there was little I could do about it. She also got into lots of fights outside of the home and damaged peoples property in retalliation for percieved hurts. Honestly, she was a nightmare and held us all hostage. The thought of procecuting my own daughter was beyond my comprehention at that time. (I think differently now due to more Parenting of difficult children history).</p><p></p><p>Unfortunately, the way the laws are written it puts the parents in a sort of a limbo because JVS stops servicing them at 18. The idea of putting an 18 year old in prison with real adult offenders is daunting and when it is your own child even more so. My daughter was physically very beautiful and that added even more worry to our scenario.</p><p></p><p>Medically a parent cannot force their difficult children into treatment without a court order after age 18 either. In adddition the difficult child can refuse to include parents in their therapy and treatment even though parents are required by law to pay for it. </p><p></p><p>In an effort to protect ourselves from loosing everything due to something difficult child might have done, we carried a very expensive 3M (yes million) liability insurance policy in case she hurt someone but eventually due to her poor driving record she was banned from our insurance entirely. To this day, 18 years later, we are forced to sign a rider that states she will not drive any of our vehicles. </p><p></p><p>I held my breath for 3 years till I could legally put her out then I paid for her apartment. She went though jobs and roomates and boyfriends like crazy. Got beat up a couple of times after starting fights but never prosecuted. In hindsight I am not sure if that (not being prosecuted) was good or bad because the behavior continued. A few years ago she had an altercation in which she was hurt but so was the other person who required stiches at the ER. I think it scared difficult child#1 because she had a baby and she could have ended up in jail. The other person involved let her sweat it out for a while but didn't press charges for the "child's sake". it may have been enough because as far as I know difficult child#1 has not been violent since.</p><p></p><p>I would seek a consultation with a lawyer that is versed with the laws in your state. It might be that if they move out on their own accord and maintain their own residence you are no longer financially responsible for them... but you should ask a lawyer about that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="rejectedmom, post: 523306, member: 2315"] Ny is not the only state that has 21 as legal age. When I lived in MD I delt with the same thing with my difficult child#1. She was violent to me abusive to her sibs and non compliant with her medications and there was little I could do about it. She also got into lots of fights outside of the home and damaged peoples property in retalliation for percieved hurts. Honestly, she was a nightmare and held us all hostage. The thought of procecuting my own daughter was beyond my comprehention at that time. (I think differently now due to more Parenting of difficult children history). Unfortunately, the way the laws are written it puts the parents in a sort of a limbo because JVS stops servicing them at 18. The idea of putting an 18 year old in prison with real adult offenders is daunting and when it is your own child even more so. My daughter was physically very beautiful and that added even more worry to our scenario. Medically a parent cannot force their difficult children into treatment without a court order after age 18 either. In adddition the difficult child can refuse to include parents in their therapy and treatment even though parents are required by law to pay for it. In an effort to protect ourselves from loosing everything due to something difficult child might have done, we carried a very expensive 3M (yes million) liability insurance policy in case she hurt someone but eventually due to her poor driving record she was banned from our insurance entirely. To this day, 18 years later, we are forced to sign a rider that states she will not drive any of our vehicles. I held my breath for 3 years till I could legally put her out then I paid for her apartment. She went though jobs and roomates and boyfriends like crazy. Got beat up a couple of times after starting fights but never prosecuted. In hindsight I am not sure if that (not being prosecuted) was good or bad because the behavior continued. A few years ago she had an altercation in which she was hurt but so was the other person who required stiches at the ER. I think it scared difficult child#1 because she had a baby and she could have ended up in jail. The other person involved let her sweat it out for a while but didn't press charges for the "child's sake". it may have been enough because as far as I know difficult child#1 has not been violent since. I would seek a consultation with a lawyer that is versed with the laws in your state. It might be that if they move out on their own accord and maintain their own residence you are no longer financially responsible for them... but you should ask a lawyer about that. [/QUOTE]
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Out of control 18 year old Daughter
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