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Over react?
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 232227" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Heather, what if you explained it to her as a violation of personal space? Would she understand this? You should be able to get this across at a time when she is calm and hopefully more receptive. </p><p></p><p>From what you have shared with us about her before, I do wonder if she really does 'get' this. She probably was able to justify what she did as a favour to you, in turning it down, because obviously (in her mind) you needed the volume lower, if SHE could hear it in her room!</p><p></p><p>But if you explain personal space in general, give her the example of the person who almost stands on your toes when you're talking so you instinctively step back, so they step forward, so you step back... and so on; then describe anials and how personal space violation often leads to animals fighting or dispaying aggressivley; then maybe she might get the analogy.</p><p></p><p>What wold be an example involving her own personal space? What if she were sitting at the table eating her dinner, you walked past her and took something off her plate and ate it? Or suppose she were sitting at the table doing a jigsaw puzzle, and you came and sat down, sweeping aside a pile of puzzle pieces so you could rest your book there? You wouldn't have moved part of acompleted puzzle, just loose ppieces, but you know how it is when someone is donig apuzzle, they sort pieces here and there and for someone to do this would be very annopying. How would she react? Because THAT would be an invasion of personal space.</p><p></p><p>Then ask her, how would she expect you to react, if she did that to you? See if she can swap the characters in her story, and be fair about it. I'm betting she may have difficulty at tis point, because for her, the world revolves around her. she needs to know that if SHE doesn't like it, chances are neither do other people.</p><p></p><p>She's probably a good kid, she just didn't think. I doubt she did it to infuriate you, but I feel you are definitely justified in being angry about it.</p><p></p><p>It's so difficult sometimes, trying to get the message across to them. That age is difficult anyway, throw in the difficult child component and it makes it a lot worse.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 232227, member: 1991"] Heather, what if you explained it to her as a violation of personal space? Would she understand this? You should be able to get this across at a time when she is calm and hopefully more receptive. From what you have shared with us about her before, I do wonder if she really does 'get' this. She probably was able to justify what she did as a favour to you, in turning it down, because obviously (in her mind) you needed the volume lower, if SHE could hear it in her room! But if you explain personal space in general, give her the example of the person who almost stands on your toes when you're talking so you instinctively step back, so they step forward, so you step back... and so on; then describe anials and how personal space violation often leads to animals fighting or dispaying aggressivley; then maybe she might get the analogy. What wold be an example involving her own personal space? What if she were sitting at the table eating her dinner, you walked past her and took something off her plate and ate it? Or suppose she were sitting at the table doing a jigsaw puzzle, and you came and sat down, sweeping aside a pile of puzzle pieces so you could rest your book there? You wouldn't have moved part of acompleted puzzle, just loose ppieces, but you know how it is when someone is donig apuzzle, they sort pieces here and there and for someone to do this would be very annopying. How would she react? Because THAT would be an invasion of personal space. Then ask her, how would she expect you to react, if she did that to you? See if she can swap the characters in her story, and be fair about it. I'm betting she may have difficulty at tis point, because for her, the world revolves around her. she needs to know that if SHE doesn't like it, chances are neither do other people. She's probably a good kid, she just didn't think. I doubt she did it to infuriate you, but I feel you are definitely justified in being angry about it. It's so difficult sometimes, trying to get the message across to them. That age is difficult anyway, throw in the difficult child component and it makes it a lot worse. Marg [/QUOTE]
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