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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 407300" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>I'm not sure how it works there hon, but a mother simply leaving a marriage with her children in tow is not considered kidnapping in any sense of the word. But I would get that clear with the lawyer........and have custody hearing set up asap if you choose to leave so that it's awarded to you right away. In nearly all places the mother has to be proven unfit, and honestly that is pretty hard to do usually even if the mother isn't really all that grand. </p><p></p><p>I don't see how a sit down group meeting with inlaws are going to help. His mother is determined to be in control and in her eyes you're a threat to that control, no matter what you say or do you're not going to win her over. (I know I have one for a mom) And as someone else said, you can't be controlled unless you allow it. So guessing hubby is unwilling to buck mom period. Hence the problem. I suppose you could discuss with him his reasons for this........but usually in well to do families it comes down to money. Could be anything from mum nixes his allowance (if he has one) to mum writes him out of the will or whatever.</p><p></p><p>Regardless, hubby sounds like he has some growing up to do still. That doesn't make him a bad person.......just makes him immature, while you've gone on past him. It happens. And it does tend to break up relationships when it does.</p><p></p><p>I'd say it boils down to this is between you and hubby not you and inlaws. Your married to him. He is supposed to love you and all that goes with it. You may have to face the fact that he can't/won't cut the apron strings with his parents. Then decide if you can live that way or not.</p><p></p><p>Stinks big time.</p><p></p><p>(((hugs)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 407300, member: 84"] I'm not sure how it works there hon, but a mother simply leaving a marriage with her children in tow is not considered kidnapping in any sense of the word. But I would get that clear with the lawyer........and have custody hearing set up asap if you choose to leave so that it's awarded to you right away. In nearly all places the mother has to be proven unfit, and honestly that is pretty hard to do usually even if the mother isn't really all that grand. I don't see how a sit down group meeting with inlaws are going to help. His mother is determined to be in control and in her eyes you're a threat to that control, no matter what you say or do you're not going to win her over. (I know I have one for a mom) And as someone else said, you can't be controlled unless you allow it. So guessing hubby is unwilling to buck mom period. Hence the problem. I suppose you could discuss with him his reasons for this........but usually in well to do families it comes down to money. Could be anything from mum nixes his allowance (if he has one) to mum writes him out of the will or whatever. Regardless, hubby sounds like he has some growing up to do still. That doesn't make him a bad person.......just makes him immature, while you've gone on past him. It happens. And it does tend to break up relationships when it does. I'd say it boils down to this is between you and hubby not you and inlaws. Your married to him. He is supposed to love you and all that goes with it. You may have to face the fact that he can't/won't cut the apron strings with his parents. Then decide if you can live that way or not. Stinks big time. (((hugs))) [/QUOTE]
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