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Parent Emeritus
Overwhelming Pain
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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 661542" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>I don't know if it will help, but on my good days, I try to plant firmly in my mind that my son is legally an adult and entitled to make (stupid) adult choices. Then I repeat the following: </p><p> </p><p>1) When I was his age I didn't call my mother every day. I didn't tell her everything. She was there if I needed her, but mostly I was living as I chose and finding my own way.</p><p> </p><p>2) Not too long ago it wasn't that unusual for kids to take a "gap year" right out of high school and travel Europe if they had money or backpack/hitch hike across the US if they didn't. They survived.</p><p> </p><p>3) Kids this age need to separate from their parents. It's easier for them than it is their parents, but it's necessary.</p><p> </p><p>I know that our situations with our difficult children are different than the "typical" kids. But those 3 things are still true. Ours may go about it the wrong way...but they are still accomplishing the separation that is necessary.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 661542, member: 17309"] I don't know if it will help, but on my good days, I try to plant firmly in my mind that my son is legally an adult and entitled to make (stupid) adult choices. Then I repeat the following: 1) When I was his age I didn't call my mother every day. I didn't tell her everything. She was there if I needed her, but mostly I was living as I chose and finding my own way. 2) Not too long ago it wasn't that unusual for kids to take a "gap year" right out of high school and travel Europe if they had money or backpack/hitch hike across the US if they didn't. They survived. 3) Kids this age need to separate from their parents. It's easier for them than it is their parents, but it's necessary. I know that our situations with our difficult children are different than the "typical" kids. But those 3 things are still true. Ours may go about it the wrong way...but they are still accomplishing the separation that is necessary. [/QUOTE]
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