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<blockquote data-quote="Freedom08" data-source="post: 661980" data-attributes="member: 19321"><p>Ugh. Just stated a post and lost it all :-(. </p><p></p><p>This week has been a roller coaster of emotion. It's been minute to minute of being okay and not okay. I am still checking her social media and KNOW I have to stop. It's not doing me any good because every time I see a depressed tweet I freak out and worry if she will harm herself. I called her this morning and she sounded okay but who knows. She's out of one of her medications and said she is calling the doctor today but I don't know if she will. I want to swoop in and fix it for her but I am powerless to do anything. There are so many resources for trans people where she is but she needs to find them on her own. Anything I suggest will just have her running the other way.</p><p></p><p>I am a fixer and I always have been. Heck I even got into a profession that requires that my whole workday is fixing complicated situations. Often with a immediate deadline and sometimes several issues at a time. I can't fix this and it's making me crazy. I wish she would come back closer to us. She is 700 miles away without a real support system with people she hardly knows and it's frightening. I know she does not want to live with me but she has friends in our town and support system AND her old therapist. This living like a nomad is something I just can't understand. How long can she go from place to place???. </p><p></p><p>I am not sleeping well at all. I can't sleep not knowing if she is safe. I have to get over that and I am so tired all the time but when I turn the light off I can't sleep. </p><p></p><p>This place is a godsend. I have an appointment with a therapist next week and I'm not looking forward to it but know it's necessary . Im just exhausted</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Freedom08, post: 661980, member: 19321"] Ugh. Just stated a post and lost it all :-(. This week has been a roller coaster of emotion. It's been minute to minute of being okay and not okay. I am still checking her social media and KNOW I have to stop. It's not doing me any good because every time I see a depressed tweet I freak out and worry if she will harm herself. I called her this morning and she sounded okay but who knows. She's out of one of her medications and said she is calling the doctor today but I don't know if she will. I want to swoop in and fix it for her but I am powerless to do anything. There are so many resources for trans people where she is but she needs to find them on her own. Anything I suggest will just have her running the other way. I am a fixer and I always have been. Heck I even got into a profession that requires that my whole workday is fixing complicated situations. Often with a immediate deadline and sometimes several issues at a time. I can't fix this and it's making me crazy. I wish she would come back closer to us. She is 700 miles away without a real support system with people she hardly knows and it's frightening. I know she does not want to live with me but she has friends in our town and support system AND her old therapist. This living like a nomad is something I just can't understand. How long can she go from place to place???. I am not sleeping well at all. I can't sleep not knowing if she is safe. I have to get over that and I am so tired all the time but when I turn the light off I can't sleep. This place is a godsend. I have an appointment with a therapist next week and I'm not looking forward to it but know it's necessary . Im just exhausted [/QUOTE]
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