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Parents turned on me after I finally kicked out 19yo son
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<blockquote data-quote="BackintheSaddle" data-source="post: 615841" data-attributes="member: 17503"><p>Well, I'm glad Christmas is almost behind me! We went to church last night for the candlelight service and I sobbed all the way through it...it's just so sad to see my son making the choices he is...but I did have my patient husband beside me...it's hard to share with him because he's Jacob's adoptive father and it seems like he's washed his hands of him...I can't blame him really but everytime I get sad, he starts reminding me about all the horrible things Jacob has done...good for me to hear but that's about all that comes out of his mouth about our son...I had packed a box of gifts and left them on the front door at my parent's house...then at about 10:45pm, our son pulled up the driveway, got out of the car (I was already outside letting the dogs potty) and walked up with gifts for us...handed them to us and said 'merry Christmas', got back in the car and left....he and I texted for awhile after and it seemed so nice for awhile-- he was asking me what all this means for our relationship (like I know!)...what does it mean? my husband won't allow him at the house and I can't imagine not seeing him at all but many of you have made that choice...but then brought up how what he did (grabbing me) wasn't as bad as things we've done...not even part of reality and the anger started coming thru...made me resolve my guilt pretty fast though!....I've been touch and go today, trying not to think about him...I hope this gets easier with time</p><p> </p><p>so, many of you have advised to cut him off financially...we were helping him with college and he did pretty good (3Bs, 1 C), he's also had the same job for a year now...these 'successes' are why I second guess myself ALL THE TIME...I fluctuate between still helping him with some of his bills and cutting him off I'm the primary money earner for a while in our family)...nothing has changed, he's still saying horrible things about me, claiming I'm the one to blame for all this...I have to figure out what I'm willing to do (or not) for him...any advice?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BackintheSaddle, post: 615841, member: 17503"] Well, I'm glad Christmas is almost behind me! We went to church last night for the candlelight service and I sobbed all the way through it...it's just so sad to see my son making the choices he is...but I did have my patient husband beside me...it's hard to share with him because he's Jacob's adoptive father and it seems like he's washed his hands of him...I can't blame him really but everytime I get sad, he starts reminding me about all the horrible things Jacob has done...good for me to hear but that's about all that comes out of his mouth about our son...I had packed a box of gifts and left them on the front door at my parent's house...then at about 10:45pm, our son pulled up the driveway, got out of the car (I was already outside letting the dogs potty) and walked up with gifts for us...handed them to us and said 'merry Christmas', got back in the car and left....he and I texted for awhile after and it seemed so nice for awhile-- he was asking me what all this means for our relationship (like I know!)...what does it mean? my husband won't allow him at the house and I can't imagine not seeing him at all but many of you have made that choice...but then brought up how what he did (grabbing me) wasn't as bad as things we've done...not even part of reality and the anger started coming thru...made me resolve my guilt pretty fast though!....I've been touch and go today, trying not to think about him...I hope this gets easier with time so, many of you have advised to cut him off financially...we were helping him with college and he did pretty good (3Bs, 1 C), he's also had the same job for a year now...these 'successes' are why I second guess myself ALL THE TIME...I fluctuate between still helping him with some of his bills and cutting him off I'm the primary money earner for a while in our family)...nothing has changed, he's still saying horrible things about me, claiming I'm the one to blame for all this...I have to figure out what I'm willing to do (or not) for him...any advice? [/QUOTE]
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Parents turned on me after I finally kicked out 19yo son
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