Partly Diagnosed 5 year old

[TiredAFWife]

Hello all. I'm new here, of course its only been 2 hours since we got back from the psychologists office and i'm already all over the internet try'n to find info. My daughter is 5, she's had a speech delay since she was 18 months and has been in the daughter preschool for two years now, starting Kinder this coming up school year. We were referred the DR because Paige doesn't always want to do what she's told. And sometimes throws a fit if something upsets her too much. She's never been violent or tried to hurt people or animals. The DR said she might have ODD. He's gonna go over the behavoiral assesment i did today and when we have our IEP meeting he'll let us know exactly what he thinks. I've been reading some of the other posts and i just keep thinking i feel awful that some of the parents on here are dealing with really horrible stuff their kids do, and the worst my daughter does is yell for a minute and refuse to paint (example from school) I just always felt she was really opinionated and stubborn. Has been since she could walk (at 7 months) she's was a very easy baby. I'm of course going to wait to talk to the doctor, and have already told him if he thinks its needed i'll do the parenting help classes he does here on base. And of course on top of all this, we found out yesterday morning, my husband is deploying in two weeks, for 6 months. Any advice or just a quick comment would really help me out here.

 

[BusynMember]

I would consider Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD). Here's a questionairre you can take for your child. A speech delay is a big red flag for this as is rigidity, inability to transition, and other inappropriate behaviors. Did he do any testing? ODD isn't a stand alone diagnosis and usually means "We don't know."

I prefer Neuropsychologists. They test in detail.

Here's the test. Although it's not an official test, it's a good indicator, if your answers are honest:

http://www.childbrain.com/pddassess.html

 

[TiredAFWife]

Actually we've already been through all of that and really all she has is the speech delay. Which right now we're just working on her making sure she pronounces everything all the way. She talks really well now, just has a few errors sometimes. She's the most social kid i know, makes friends easily and all that.
A couple months ago i got the book, The Kazdin Method (think thats what that's called) and we've been doing the extreme positive reinforcement. That seems to be helping a lot. And if she's kept busy and i don't get onto about the small stuff we don't seem to have a lot of issues here at home. The biggest problem is her paying attention and doing whats asked of her at school. One of their complaints was when they play board games, she takes her turn, and while the other kids take their turn she turns around and finds something else to do until her turn again.

 

[SRL]

We were referred the DR because Paige doesn't always want to do what she's told.

That describes nearly every child I know.

Actually One of their complaints was when they play board games, she takes her turn, and while the other kids take their turn she turns around and finds something else to do until her turn again.

If that's their biggest complaint then personally I think they should take a chill pill. Active, social 5-year-olds aren't likely to sit quietly and watch patiently until they turn comes up. I have a house full of teens and it's not uncommon for them to prompt each other when their turn is up again.

Maybe this preschool just wasn't a good fit for a strong-willed, free spirited child? Is her behavior causing serious functioning problems for her at home or school? Is her behavior getting in the way of her learning? Is it impacting how you as a family function....as in do her tantrums stop the family in its tracks for a few hours at a time?

Are you as a parent concerned about her?

I assume that the IEP meeting is scheduled with the school for speech therapy? Maybe it would be good to see how she does in a new school environment with new teachers before addressing behavioral issues in school.

 

[TiredAFWife]

I have been telling them for 2 years (she's been in the daughter preschool for speech for 2 years) that this is her personality. I don't want them to think that i don't care that she doesn't listen, because i really do want her to get the most out of her time at school. But everytime they tell me these things i just keep thinking, well she's 5. Also they've told me acedemically she's ready for Kinder, we have no worries in that area. (of course as her mom i'm constantly worried about all that stuff, reading and writing etc.)
Here at home we have our moments, "no you can't have a snack right now, put those crackers down!" and she responds with begging and pleading and then eventually walking away a little ticked off. But she's not screaming or any extreme things like that. I'd say about once a month we have a meltdown thats starts as something small, like, please stop walking too far away from the cart at the store, and it turns into (after saying this several times) me ticked off, my hubby ticked off, and her cry'n and all that. But for me thats just one of the many joys of kids. lol.
Our IEP meeting is for the transition into Kinder, and her 3 year speech evaluation (thats the big evaluation they have to do) her ST is always giving us progress reports.
The good thing is once a week they go to the Kinder class for 30 minutes and i haven't gotten any notes that she didn't behave in there. So i'm hoping maybe the more structured Kinder enviornment will help.
I'm absolutely not opposed to getting help for anything, i just want to make sure she gets the right help if its needed.
thanks for replying.

 

[SRL]

I just went back and read over your earlier comments. Is the doctor/psychologist that is doing the assessment a school district employee? If not employed by the district who is paying for the evaluation?

If I had a child who had some questionable, possibly ODDish behaviors in school I would be taking her to a dr of my choosing and I would pay for the evaluation. After the evaluation was over, I would be meeting with the doctor on my own (not with school staff present) and then I would review his/her written report. Only after seeing the written report and if I agreed with the findings and recommendations would I hand deliver a copy to the school. Under no circumstances would I allow a doctor I had hired to present findings at an IEP meeting. Even when we were using a consultant hired by the school district, she met with us first to go through her observations before presenting them to the team. I would not trust a school district evaluation to label a child with ODD.

Some kids with ODD hold it together at home and flare up at school. For some it's the opposite and some are equal opportunity difficult. It sounds like what you're dealing with at home is pretty typical kid stuff. But I'm not sure what you're describing at school is really ODD if that's the extent of it. 5 year olds with ODD usually have a really serious knee jerk reaction to all people and things pertaining to authority and can be seriously hard to handle.

Now if she's having a hard time paying attention maybe that needs to be looked at closer, but that's not ODD.

Has her hearing been checked recently? You also may want to read up on something called Auditory Processing Disorder as that can cause classroom attentiveness problems.

 

[TiredAFWife]

From what he told me he also has an office here on the Base. So i'm pretty sure he's the one we would have seen if we went through my daughters PCM. He told me we can do the Parenting sessions here on the base. Our IEP meeting had to be schedule for the last day of school, so i was already thinking of calling him before that, and finding out what he thinks.
The biggest thing we've noticed, is she has no issues when we get a babysitter, and her favorite Teachers Assistant can tell her to do something once and she listens.
Its all so confusing. On the list of 8 things they check for the ODD she has the first four. But not the more serious last four. And its not an all the time thing, but maybe its enough for it to be a problem.
The first time it really became a problem was when my hubby deployed in '07. That 6 months was pretty hard, but that was just after our second was born and he was gone, so it was a bit of a hard time for all of us. The big test will be when he leaves on the 21, and we're home together for the summer. Boredom is not our Friend. lol. I'm gonna read about the Auditory Processing Disorders (APD), see what that is.
Thanks.

 

[TiredAFWife]

you know when i was thinking about it last night, i'm not even gonna find out what the Speech therapist has to say about her 3 year evalution until the IEP meeting. I almost feel like i'll be blindsided by anything they have to say. Sitting there with all these people i don't really know, the day my husband leaves, all by myself. Do you think if i called them they would meet with me before hand and talk to me about everything? I just feel like i couldn't take a bunch of people telling me all this stuff at once.

 

[smallworld]

You have the right to see any report that will submitted at an IEP PRIOR to the meeting. Simply request it in writing, and the school should provide it.

As others have mentioned to you, ODD is generally not a stand-alone diagnosis. It describes a set of behaviors that are typically fueled by an underlying disorder. If problems occurred when your husband deployed the last time, anxiety as a diagnosis should be considered. Are there any mental health issues in the family tree?