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<blockquote data-quote="AnnieO" data-source="post: 420041" data-attributes="member: 6705"><p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">Welcome - I am glad you found us, and sorry you had to...</span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">If his bio is an addict, and has been inappropriate with him - NO, NO, NO! My husband has custody - full, legal, 100% - of his two kids thanks to a situation of abuse. When I met them, he saw them 5 total days out of every 28. I love these two with all my heart - though I do understand, very, very well, about wanting a child to "just go away" for a while.</span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">And yes, the psychiatrists and tdocs and RTCs and juvenile justice ALL know better. About 2 months ago we had a counselor tell us that Onyxx had signed a contract not to hurt anyone or herself, so everything was OK. REALLY. That was the last straw with that counselor, and guess what? 2 days later I found Onyxx's cop in shreds in the garbage. Yeah. I'm SURE everything was OK.</span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">Yeah... It does. It's not easy. Plus, you're walking on eggshells not to set him off.</span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">You don't know what bio has said to him about your husband. Plus - with alcohol/drugs - if she did these while pregnant, there is a whole other set of issues you may be looking at. Plus - the borderline incestuous contact - that is trauma right there.</span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">Couple of questions - how long have you been with husband? Married? How long has he had custody of difficult child? Are husband & bio divorced, or never married...? Has difficult child ever acted out against <strong>you</strong>? Besides ADHD, has he been diagnosis'd with anything else?</span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">I (and others who will be along) highly recommend "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. I rolled my eyes at first, but read it anyway - and the first 15 pages went by in a blue as I was hooked, seeing Onyxx on every page. Some of it helped, some didn't. Some helped ME see things differently, and thus react differently.</span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/hugs.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":hugs:" title="hugs :hugs:" data-shortname=":hugs:" /></span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AnnieO, post: 420041, member: 6705"] [INDENT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=3]Welcome - I am glad you found us, and sorry you had to... If his bio is an addict, and has been inappropriate with him - NO, NO, NO! My husband has custody - full, legal, 100% - of his two kids thanks to a situation of abuse. When I met them, he saw them 5 total days out of every 28. I love these two with all my heart - though I do understand, very, very well, about wanting a child to "just go away" for a while. And yes, the psychiatrists and tdocs and RTCs and juvenile justice ALL know better. About 2 months ago we had a counselor tell us that Onyxx had signed a contract not to hurt anyone or herself, so everything was OK. REALLY. That was the last straw with that counselor, and guess what? 2 days later I found Onyxx's cop in shreds in the garbage. Yeah. I'm SURE everything was OK. [/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3]Yeah... It does. It's not easy. Plus, you're walking on eggshells not to set him off.[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3]You don't know what bio has said to him about your husband. Plus - with alcohol/drugs - if she did these while pregnant, there is a whole other set of issues you may be looking at. Plus - the borderline incestuous contact - that is trauma right there.[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3]Couple of questions - how long have you been with husband? Married? How long has he had custody of difficult child? Are husband & bio divorced, or never married...? Has difficult child ever acted out against [B]you[/B]? Besides ADHD, has he been diagnosis'd with anything else?[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3]I (and others who will be along) highly recommend "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. I rolled my eyes at first, but read it anyway - and the first 15 pages went by in a blue as I was hooked, seeing Onyxx on every page. Some of it helped, some didn't. Some helped ME see things differently, and thus react differently.[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=3]:hugs:[/SIZE][/FONT] [/INDENT] [/QUOTE]
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