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<blockquote data-quote="Ehlena" data-source="post: 420199" data-attributes="member: 6097"><p>It would be so nice if there were actually a magic wand!</p><p></p><p>The group home workers are supervising the visits, sometimes the social worker does it. They shut it down if difficult child goes too far, and have cut a visit short, but I think they're giving her the chance to correct difficult child's behavior, and she doesn't, and that goes in the notes. I think they're trying to give her enough rope to hang herself with. She has just recently signed away her parental rights to her youngest. I know the social worker is giving the visitation supervisors a lot of direction so they can make sure the inappropriate stuff doesn't go too far.</p><p></p><p>The next court date is in May, and they will be recommending to terminate reunification with bio-mom. She will contest it, so we'll see what happens at the contested hearing.</p><p></p><p>She lives a an hour away, so I can almost guarantee you that she won't be coming out to visit difficult child anymore once they stop paying for her to do so. She has a hard time holding down a job and hasn't had a driver's license in forever.</p><p></p><p>I am worried because I feel like difficult child is showing some narcissistic tendencies. He will talk on and on about himself, and not in a normal way. He makes up stories where he is doing something with another kid, and it turns out he's better than the other kid, even though the other kid is older and/or has been doing it for longer. He's told me two variations of this story and has told the social worker a variation of this story as well. When the three of us are doing something together, he will often talk about how he's better than husband and I. How do you combat this? We've been told to try to boost his self-esteem, but now I feel like it's gone too far in the other direction! His sense of empathy is definitely broken. It is impossible to get him to understand how his actions may have made others feel - believe me, I've tried and tried. His defense is always "well so-and-so is a loser/b!tch/jerk" or even "nobody would care if he/she died".</p><p></p><p>I'd like to think that when his mom disappears from his life again (and with this lady, it's a when, not if), he'll start getting better, but I think he's going to have an epic-style meltdown.</p><p></p><p>I like the idea of different musical expression. Any suggestions? He won't sing, I know that.</p><p></p><p>And how do you get someone to the point of realizing that they need help and treatment? Right now all these people in difficult child's life who are trying to help, he sees as just interfering and keeping him from his mom. I'm not sure how to get through to him. And whenever you feel like you do get through to him, it's gone an hour later. I think he's learned to just say what you want to hear. This is the largest block for difficult child. He's a smart kid, and I know there's a core to him that's very kind, generous, and thoughtful - I've seen it before. I know he's unhappy on the path he's been traveling. If we could just get him to accept help, there is A TON of it ready and waiting.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ehlena, post: 420199, member: 6097"] It would be so nice if there were actually a magic wand! The group home workers are supervising the visits, sometimes the social worker does it. They shut it down if difficult child goes too far, and have cut a visit short, but I think they're giving her the chance to correct difficult child's behavior, and she doesn't, and that goes in the notes. I think they're trying to give her enough rope to hang herself with. She has just recently signed away her parental rights to her youngest. I know the social worker is giving the visitation supervisors a lot of direction so they can make sure the inappropriate stuff doesn't go too far. The next court date is in May, and they will be recommending to terminate reunification with bio-mom. She will contest it, so we'll see what happens at the contested hearing. She lives a an hour away, so I can almost guarantee you that she won't be coming out to visit difficult child anymore once they stop paying for her to do so. She has a hard time holding down a job and hasn't had a driver's license in forever. I am worried because I feel like difficult child is showing some narcissistic tendencies. He will talk on and on about himself, and not in a normal way. He makes up stories where he is doing something with another kid, and it turns out he's better than the other kid, even though the other kid is older and/or has been doing it for longer. He's told me two variations of this story and has told the social worker a variation of this story as well. When the three of us are doing something together, he will often talk about how he's better than husband and I. How do you combat this? We've been told to try to boost his self-esteem, but now I feel like it's gone too far in the other direction! His sense of empathy is definitely broken. It is impossible to get him to understand how his actions may have made others feel - believe me, I've tried and tried. His defense is always "well so-and-so is a loser/b!tch/jerk" or even "nobody would care if he/she died". I'd like to think that when his mom disappears from his life again (and with this lady, it's a when, not if), he'll start getting better, but I think he's going to have an epic-style meltdown. I like the idea of different musical expression. Any suggestions? He won't sing, I know that. And how do you get someone to the point of realizing that they need help and treatment? Right now all these people in difficult child's life who are trying to help, he sees as just interfering and keeping him from his mom. I'm not sure how to get through to him. And whenever you feel like you do get through to him, it's gone an hour later. I think he's learned to just say what you want to hear. This is the largest block for difficult child. He's a smart kid, and I know there's a core to him that's very kind, generous, and thoughtful - I've seen it before. I know he's unhappy on the path he's been traveling. If we could just get him to accept help, there is A TON of it ready and waiting. [/QUOTE]
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