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Phone call from my son
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 608817" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I have a mentally ill son. A few things I know: In spite of being mentally ill, unless he is inpatient in a hospital, he is still the one who is going to have to keep his medication straight and take it on time. He will be treated as any other adult. Is it realistic? No. Another option is trying to get guardianship over your son so that you can make decisions for him and staff will talk to you and treat him as if he is still a minor. If he doesn't want you to have guardianship, that could be a problem. It's a legal procedure. </p><p></p><p>Other than that, there is nothing you or I can do. We can curse the system that threw the mentally ill into the streets and took away so many free services, but that isn't going to help our adult children or ourselves. Unless your son wants you undivided help and is willing to work like a soldier to quit using recreational drugs, there is nothing you can do, not even support him. I am sort of in the same situation, although my son is not going to kill himself by drugs...just maybe by his own hand. </p><p></p><p>Although for me this degree of having to detach from an adult child who is THIS sick is new to me, if I don't do it, I will be the one who ends up in the hospital and my son will be no better off and the others w ho need me will not have me at my best. I suggest you do nice things for yourself and take care of YOU as well as spend quality time with those who are functional and loving and not making bad choices. Your life goes on...my life goes on...regardless of our adult child's problems and we need to live that life that is going on.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry you are going through this. It is very difficult, I know. The things you told your son to do would work well for YOU too. I do meditation (really helpful), try hard to do mindfulness, and exercise an awful lot. I do all my normal activities even though my son gets angry because "You're always gone and I can't reach you." We adult parents can not ruminate about these adult children 24/7. Feel good about enjoying yourself in spite of this adult child. Focus on YOU <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 608817, member: 1550"] I have a mentally ill son. A few things I know: In spite of being mentally ill, unless he is inpatient in a hospital, he is still the one who is going to have to keep his medication straight and take it on time. He will be treated as any other adult. Is it realistic? No. Another option is trying to get guardianship over your son so that you can make decisions for him and staff will talk to you and treat him as if he is still a minor. If he doesn't want you to have guardianship, that could be a problem. It's a legal procedure. Other than that, there is nothing you or I can do. We can curse the system that threw the mentally ill into the streets and took away so many free services, but that isn't going to help our adult children or ourselves. Unless your son wants you undivided help and is willing to work like a soldier to quit using recreational drugs, there is nothing you can do, not even support him. I am sort of in the same situation, although my son is not going to kill himself by drugs...just maybe by his own hand. Although for me this degree of having to detach from an adult child who is THIS sick is new to me, if I don't do it, I will be the one who ends up in the hospital and my son will be no better off and the others w ho need me will not have me at my best. I suggest you do nice things for yourself and take care of YOU as well as spend quality time with those who are functional and loving and not making bad choices. Your life goes on...my life goes on...regardless of our adult child's problems and we need to live that life that is going on. I'm sorry you are going through this. It is very difficult, I know. The things you told your son to do would work well for YOU too. I do meditation (really helpful), try hard to do mindfulness, and exercise an awful lot. I do all my normal activities even though my son gets angry because "You're always gone and I can't reach you." We adult parents can not ruminate about these adult children 24/7. Feel good about enjoying yourself in spite of this adult child. Focus on YOU :) [/QUOTE]
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