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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 420363" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I completely understand how pleasantly surprised you are at the visit with katie. I hope she can see that they are much better off with-o M and that the loneliness doesn't make her run back to him. Or sneak him in to mess this all up for them. </p><p> </p><p>I think spending time enjoying them will be good for all of you. </p><p> </p><p>As for the platter, I can understand both your and husband's perspective. You are furious because you knew what to expect - that M would try to bite the hand that was feeding him. I am sure he did it at the shelter also. husband is furious because he was really trying to help them and M tried to steal something not just very valuable but actually precious to him (whether he ever used it or polished it, it held memories for him and is an heirloom in his eyes.). So I think not inviting M and if he shows up telling him he wasn't invited and must leave, away from the kids, is important.</p><p> </p><p>I think you need to let katie know what he did. That you suspected it when he kept trying to "switch" clothes but never actually switched them, and when he kept trying to sneak into that room. So you and husband checked his bags and found this heirloom from HER RELATIVE that M wanted to steal from you. That you understand that it was M and not her, that you are not angry with her or the kids, but you cannot and will not have someone who tried to steal a priceless heirloom that has been in the family for many generations back in your home. You tried to help M, to give him what you could even when you and husband were so broke you had a hard time buying food, and he tried to steal from you anyway.</p><p> </p><p>Let her know that it happened. Let her know that you want her and the kids in your life but you cannot have a thief in your home, now or ever. Esp not one that you tried very hard to help.</p><p> </p><p>I also think cookbooks would be a great idea. If you have any of your mother in law or family recipes that are handwritten, try to scan them into the computer and print them out on paper for her. Or to copy them at kinko's or wherever. It would give her that sense of family each time she opened the binder of them, because she could see your handwriting, her gma's writing and other relatives writing. I know at times going through my gma's old recipe cards helps me feel her and gpa with me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 420363, member: 1233"] I completely understand how pleasantly surprised you are at the visit with katie. I hope she can see that they are much better off with-o M and that the loneliness doesn't make her run back to him. Or sneak him in to mess this all up for them. I think spending time enjoying them will be good for all of you. As for the platter, I can understand both your and husband's perspective. You are furious because you knew what to expect - that M would try to bite the hand that was feeding him. I am sure he did it at the shelter also. husband is furious because he was really trying to help them and M tried to steal something not just very valuable but actually precious to him (whether he ever used it or polished it, it held memories for him and is an heirloom in his eyes.). So I think not inviting M and if he shows up telling him he wasn't invited and must leave, away from the kids, is important. I think you need to let katie know what he did. That you suspected it when he kept trying to "switch" clothes but never actually switched them, and when he kept trying to sneak into that room. So you and husband checked his bags and found this heirloom from HER RELATIVE that M wanted to steal from you. That you understand that it was M and not her, that you are not angry with her or the kids, but you cannot and will not have someone who tried to steal a priceless heirloom that has been in the family for many generations back in your home. You tried to help M, to give him what you could even when you and husband were so broke you had a hard time buying food, and he tried to steal from you anyway. Let her know that it happened. Let her know that you want her and the kids in your life but you cannot have a thief in your home, now or ever. Esp not one that you tried very hard to help. I also think cookbooks would be a great idea. If you have any of your mother in law or family recipes that are handwritten, try to scan them into the computer and print them out on paper for her. Or to copy them at kinko's or wherever. It would give her that sense of family each time she opened the binder of them, because she could see your handwriting, her gma's writing and other relatives writing. I know at times going through my gma's old recipe cards helps me feel her and gpa with me. [/QUOTE]
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