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Please help. Picture of difficult child down UPDATE
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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 28674" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p>I'm sorry if my post came off as being more harsh than more been there done that - that was NOT my intention. </p><p></p><p>Having been through many episodes or "incidents" of similar behaviors with my own now 17gfg, I can certainly relate to what you're going through. What we've learned after many such incidents is that this is difficult child's issue, not her sister's and she must own up to it. It hurts, it's horrible, it's embarrassing and humiliating, yes - all those things. In fact, all of my difficult child's hideous incidents were caused by her own impulsivity, stupidity, and irresponsible behavior. But what I was saying was, at what point is she old enough to own the consequences of her actions? I just didn't see what denying it would have accomplished except to allow your difficult child to move past this but not learn a lesson from it.</p><p></p><p>I sent you a PM earlier (before your post) in which I said that I think you and your H ultimately handled it very well and it seems to be having a good outcome. I still think so. I just don't think 'denying' is the way to go and if that sounds harsh, I apologize - we all have to do what is right for our families at any given moments. I understand that things change, circumstances change, etc. I never said I thought you were letting her off the hook or letting her off easy; it was the denying part that didn't seem right to me. It was obvious that you were reaching out to help guage your reactions and looking for help from others and that's exactly what we all do here. </p><p></p><p>Just as it is your responsibility to protect your family, it is also each member of the family's responsibility to behave appropriately and learn how their actions have consequences, not just for themselves but for others.</p><p></p><p>Please accept my sincerest of apologies if I offended you or your parenting in any way - that was definitely not my intention.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 28674, member: 2211"] I'm sorry if my post came off as being more harsh than more been there done that - that was NOT my intention. Having been through many episodes or "incidents" of similar behaviors with my own now 17gfg, I can certainly relate to what you're going through. What we've learned after many such incidents is that this is difficult child's issue, not her sister's and she must own up to it. It hurts, it's horrible, it's embarrassing and humiliating, yes - all those things. In fact, all of my difficult child's hideous incidents were caused by her own impulsivity, stupidity, and irresponsible behavior. But what I was saying was, at what point is she old enough to own the consequences of her actions? I just didn't see what denying it would have accomplished except to allow your difficult child to move past this but not learn a lesson from it. I sent you a PM earlier (before your post) in which I said that I think you and your H ultimately handled it very well and it seems to be having a good outcome. I still think so. I just don't think 'denying' is the way to go and if that sounds harsh, I apologize - we all have to do what is right for our families at any given moments. I understand that things change, circumstances change, etc. I never said I thought you were letting her off the hook or letting her off easy; it was the denying part that didn't seem right to me. It was obvious that you were reaching out to help guage your reactions and looking for help from others and that's exactly what we all do here. Just as it is your responsibility to protect your family, it is also each member of the family's responsibility to behave appropriately and learn how their actions have consequences, not just for themselves but for others. Please accept my sincerest of apologies if I offended you or your parenting in any way - that was definitely not my intention. [/QUOTE]
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Please help. Picture of difficult child down UPDATE
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