Please Help

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by tamiandfamily, Nov 20, 2008.

  1. tamiandfamily

    tamiandfamily New Member

    So Brokenhearted and Worried...They say my child has Conduct Disorder and beginnings of Antisocial Personality Disorder...

    I need to know if anyone knows a good doctor I can contact in NY

    I need to know who is a Conduct Disorder Renoun doctor Statewide

    Need to know latest treatment options, professional advice

    Need Support, Encouragement because I am worried sick
  2. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    Who is "they"? Who diagnosis'd your son with CD and Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)? How old is your son? CD is usually a diagnosis that is not given to a child until, at the earliest, they are 16.

    We don't give out the specific names or docs or facilities, etc. on this site. I'm sure you understand the liability issue. However, many of our members use the PM system to speak privately and give more personal advice.

    I can totally understand your worry! Did you ask the doctor or facility that diagnosis'd your son the questions you are asking here. Pediatric docs usually have a great list of other pediatric docs in other disciplines they can recommend.

    Begin to do your research on the net. And, you have made a great start by coming here!

  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I am guessing you had a therapist diagnose your child.
    I would run, not walk, from anybody who diagnosed a child with CD and antisocial personality disorder. I'd go to a neuropsychologist and get a complete workup--testing in all areas. I would not accept this diagnosis.--it is only supposed to be given after age 18, and I'm betting the farm that there is something else going on that can be helped.
    Again, I'd see a neuropsychologist.
  4. luvmyottb

    luvmyottb Guest

    Welcome to the board. Sorry you had to find us this way, but the group can provide you with support and great information.

    Please go to the user cp (upper left) and scroll down to signature. Look at mine below. :D It will help us when posting back to you, you will only have to tell us about your family one time. We have short memories.

    Who diagnosed your child? Is she on medications? Has she been evaluated by a neuropsychologist?

    Others will be along. We understand your pain and frustration. Hugs.
  5. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Welcome Tami. :salute:
  6. Mandy

    Mandy Parent In Training

    Welcome!!!! Big hugs to you, it is so hard to here that their is something wrong with your child.
  7. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Welcome, Tami.

    I wish I had the magic answers for all of us, but we don't...we just plug along day to day and try to discover what helps and what doesn't.

    How old is your child? Can you give us some background?

    We might not have answers, but you can't find a much better place for encouragement and support.
  8. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Hi tami,

    Yeeeeeeeeeeeeahhhhhh antisocial personality disorder. You know when they said that to us my first thoughts went to OMG he'll be like Jeffrey Dahlmer or worse. Really - I didn't sleep, put locks on our doors. I remember the psychiatric. doctor saying "I'd sleep with one eye open if I had to sleep in your home." (how very nice - would you really? What would you do with the other eye?)

    I can imagine how you feel - we put locks on the doors, and I put a bell on my door knob. I mean when someone says ASPD you think - serial murderer. What else would you think? Not puppies and rainbows for pity sake.

    So if that's one mans opinion - I want to know why. WHAT is it that your son is doing to make someone think this? How old is he? How long has he been like this? I'm not saying your doctor is wrong or right - but nice way to shake a Moms brain - (when your brain stops shaking like Jello - get back to us) BECAUSE - like I said in the welcome lurker post - there isn't much we have not heard, no one judges and some of our kids are the same as yours. We should not be ashamed or afraid to say - Yup - I have a kid that does that. You're among friends - so come on out and lay it on us.

    Maybe somewhere or someone here will be able to shed better light on it or you'll click with their words and it will help. Just knowing you aren't alone? Helps a lot. And getting an education in the mean time is priceless for your sons health.

    =We're waiting -----(taps foot) waiting......(looks around) you aren't going to post NOW.....maybe NOW? no....maybe

    We're here!
  9. 627666

    627666 New Member

    Brokenhearted and Worried,

    I am in your same boat! After 4 years with a very well known and well respected behavioral therapist, we got a diagnosis of Conduct Disorder for our almost 12 year old son yesterday. I have been in a haze ever since. I want to believe this is not possible, but I have to tell you his symptoms match the classic symptoms of CD.

    I live in Dallas and was given the name of a CD "expert" here locally, but I only left a message for him today and have not heard back. I will let you know what he tells me. We have been told our son needs a Residential Treatment Center and I am starting to agree. He did not make it in public school and is about to be "asked to leave" another private school within the next few weeks.

    His behavior has escalated the past year and he is now staying with his parental grandparents, as we worried about our daughter's safety. I have been researching CD for over 24 hours straight now and although it is not a common diagnosis, it does seem to be real. We have done all the right things, spent thousands on treatment facilities and doctors and testing and here we are. I am not willing to discount this diagnosis so quickly because his symptoms fit the bill. I want desperately for my son to be ok and not have this label, but I believe we have to be realistic. When numerous docs and specialists tell you your child is sick, one has to start coping with the reality of it.

    This site is helping me already, as I meet others who feel my pain. I am no longer alone. Perhaps we can stay in touch and compare our stories? Keep praying and take it one day at a time. I am just going one hour at a time right now. Did I mention I am 7 1/2 mos pregnant? My goal is to keep this baby safe until full term (despite my stress), while I simultaneously find the right place and plan for my precious son. And protect my marriage and my daughter...Lord I wish I could have a glass of wine right now!

    Hang in there!

    627666 in Dallas
  10. Ropefree

    Ropefree Banned

    Does that come in mild meduim and HOT? beginnings of? what is that like a
    layer of multch from which the anti-s sprouts up later?
    How old a person are we talking about?
    beginnings of?

    I feel hit by a truck just reading this. I think that the best thing to do is to seek all the answers to your immediate questions...keep a journel of who and what and dates...
    then when you can not do anymore because of the time day or you go
    cross eyed from reading......then imagin the very worst senerio that you can as to what could happen with this for you child and what lengths you would go to heal it...after that if your imagination is on overdrive the next reality based stuff may not be as extreme.
    Use your fear energy to find out what you can do....It is feels like being hit by a truck just reading it.
    The other thing is when overwhelmed I think it is almost imposible to listen and learn and really hear what is being said...
    you are doing what you need to do to understand what has been said even now. And you are going to learn more.
    Only you know how you are feeling, dear one, it is grief that we feel when our dreams are dashed in some way. Yet it is in real life itsself that we find what it means to love. Diapers are just the beginning. You are not alone. Stay close. Kept those who care near. You do need support.
    Call a conselor for you asap. Help get yourself honest with yourself so that you are not colapsing from your ability to feel.
    Bless your heart, parent.
  11. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Hi and Welcome. I am so sorry you need us, but I am glad you found us.

    I don't know all you have gone through, but often there is more going on. When my difficult child (Wiz) was 12 we were POSITIVE we were headed for the CD diagnosis and a child who would spend his life in prison. He was so very scary and violent - he even tried many times to kill my daughter (who has had MUCH therapy to deal with this).

    It has taken a LOT of work, but right now my son is 17 (turned 17 on 11/21!) and is a senior in high school. He is taking a vocational program 1/2 the day to be a machinist (like his great grandpa, uncles and grandpa) and he is planning to attend the vocational program full time next year (and got the state to pay for it!). Then he plans to work as a machinist to pay for college.

    He is a loving brother and son, a caring cousin to his 5yo niece, and all around a really nice kid.

    And I didn't think I would EVER get to write those words when he was 12-15.

    So don't lose hope, answer the questions others have asked when you can, and stick around. There is a TON of knowledge and support here and we really want to get to know you.
  12. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I would resist imagining the worst. You need to keep a level head because your child will feed off of your anxiety. If you need to take a break from the worry, do what you can to get away for an hour or an evening to recharge. Even a hot bath or a good read is a good idea. You're in for a long ride here. We all have horrible thoughts as to "what might happen". My big fear for the longest time after M left us was that the newscasters were talking about my son when they said "the suspect is a young white male..." It didn't make me feel any better to know that it wasn't him. All it did was make me miserable, and I projected my fears onto him. He deserved my calm and logical help, not my illogical fears.

    Hugs to you.
  13. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    Welcome to the board, although I am sorry you have to be here.

    Witz is right. This is a long road. Make sure to take time for yourself. It's important for any parent, but especially parents of challenging kids.

    How old is your child?