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Police visit, blood on the walls and difficult child's first inpatient stay
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<blockquote data-quote="Farmwife" data-source="post: 381945" data-attributes="member: 8617"><p>You guys are wonderful. </p><p> </p><p>Edited post. FWIW I would never want to hurt my son I was just scared, I thought he was going to kill husband and what would seem like strong intervention was ineffective, meanwhile his baby sister who idolizes him is being permanently scarred in the process by seeing it. Her shrieking from her high chair was the most painful part. I have memories stored away from when I was younger than her...</p><p> </p><p>The psychiatrist at the hospital changed difficult child to Zyprexa today. Not sure what else is stopping or continuing as far as lexapro and risperdal. I should have asked but after 3 hours sleep and list of difficult child related phone calls to make and my brain is swiss cheese. Although I agree lexapro may be a problem I know risperdal was the one and only mood stabilizer that worked. I mentioned that he has a good psychiatrist but this hospital psychiatrist isn't discussing anything with her as of yet. I'm not so sure I am happy with that fact but he is in an adolescent center and better to do a medication change under serious control. medication changes scare the heck out of me, it's always such a caca shoot as to what may happen.</p><p> </p><p>Thank goodness for the iep because school is going to fax work to hospital and hospital has a teacher 1 hour a day. They also have like 6 hours of group and sessions and what not. I feel very nervous about what happened last night and him coming home but I am so comforted by the fact that while he is away he will be getting the intensive help he needs. I still don't think I will ever feel safe letting him come home but I know dcfs pushes for that. my mother is willing to take him in. I just wonder how well we can maintain a healthy interaction with that. I envision less family stress and weekend visists for dinner, board games and videos. I guess it's a fantasy of normalcy and love that I fear we cannot mantain while he lives in our home and has the odd. Perhpas serious intervention and services to keep him stable at my Moms and us visiting on weekends can help heal our bond as a family. I dunno. Same school though so big sigh of relief.</p><p> </p><p>I love him but I know that the next incident will be worse and result in someone being seriously injured. He can't come back it is too risky for all of us. He isn't without hope but my home is not the place. I won't walk away but safety is priority number one regardless of whatever rosy picture dcfs wants to paint.</p><p> </p><p>Thank goodness for his awesom boss as well. She is very approachable, likes difficult child a lot and well...it is the local small town tavern/cafe so low pressure. I hate to step in but I fear at this point I must. This job is all he has that is positive right now. It helped him grow and feel better about himself. I'm going to tell her what I have to in order to excuse his absence while not trying to freak her out. I am also going to beg and plead with her to allow him to return. I won't mention it right away but I would be willing to secretly pay his salary if that is what it took. He needs this because we are not far from long term lock up and social security. This job is his only lifeline into a semi normal adult state.</p><p> </p><p>The rest is hazy, still trying to process and write all my to do's down. It's amazing how a crisis can make a simple 5 item list of phone calls and errands feel like climbing everest. It's like my brain stopped.</p><p> </p><p>husband and I vowed that outside of calls to manage that we will NOT discuss difficult child in any way shape or form today. Taking baby diva out into the sunshine and absorbing every last minute of the calm and safety. This hospital stay is a much needed respite. Friday hasn't "felt" like a weekend in years...every day and every free moment is one long continuation of managing difficult child. Today we LIVE!</p><p> </p><p>Thanks so much for the outpouring of support, as you all sadly know it means so much. I welcome advice and suggestions. I may sometimes have a differing opinion but having new ideas has always been a great source for changes.</p><p> </p><p>On the ironic side, baby diva is a teething nightmare and I am due to "pop" after turkey day. A difficult child teen, a terrible twos toddler and an infant. What the heck was I thinking? As for me, "look ma, no medications". Gonna survive and put on some warrior momma face paint.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Farmwife, post: 381945, member: 8617"] You guys are wonderful. Edited post. FWIW I would never want to hurt my son I was just scared, I thought he was going to kill husband and what would seem like strong intervention was ineffective, meanwhile his baby sister who idolizes him is being permanently scarred in the process by seeing it. Her shrieking from her high chair was the most painful part. I have memories stored away from when I was younger than her... The psychiatrist at the hospital changed difficult child to Zyprexa today. Not sure what else is stopping or continuing as far as lexapro and risperdal. I should have asked but after 3 hours sleep and list of difficult child related phone calls to make and my brain is swiss cheese. Although I agree lexapro may be a problem I know risperdal was the one and only mood stabilizer that worked. I mentioned that he has a good psychiatrist but this hospital psychiatrist isn't discussing anything with her as of yet. I'm not so sure I am happy with that fact but he is in an adolescent center and better to do a medication change under serious control. medication changes scare the heck out of me, it's always such a caca shoot as to what may happen. Thank goodness for the iep because school is going to fax work to hospital and hospital has a teacher 1 hour a day. They also have like 6 hours of group and sessions and what not. I feel very nervous about what happened last night and him coming home but I am so comforted by the fact that while he is away he will be getting the intensive help he needs. I still don't think I will ever feel safe letting him come home but I know dcfs pushes for that. my mother is willing to take him in. I just wonder how well we can maintain a healthy interaction with that. I envision less family stress and weekend visists for dinner, board games and videos. I guess it's a fantasy of normalcy and love that I fear we cannot mantain while he lives in our home and has the odd. Perhpas serious intervention and services to keep him stable at my Moms and us visiting on weekends can help heal our bond as a family. I dunno. Same school though so big sigh of relief. I love him but I know that the next incident will be worse and result in someone being seriously injured. He can't come back it is too risky for all of us. He isn't without hope but my home is not the place. I won't walk away but safety is priority number one regardless of whatever rosy picture dcfs wants to paint. Thank goodness for his awesom boss as well. She is very approachable, likes difficult child a lot and well...it is the local small town tavern/cafe so low pressure. I hate to step in but I fear at this point I must. This job is all he has that is positive right now. It helped him grow and feel better about himself. I'm going to tell her what I have to in order to excuse his absence while not trying to freak her out. I am also going to beg and plead with her to allow him to return. I won't mention it right away but I would be willing to secretly pay his salary if that is what it took. He needs this because we are not far from long term lock up and social security. This job is his only lifeline into a semi normal adult state. The rest is hazy, still trying to process and write all my to do's down. It's amazing how a crisis can make a simple 5 item list of phone calls and errands feel like climbing everest. It's like my brain stopped. husband and I vowed that outside of calls to manage that we will NOT discuss difficult child in any way shape or form today. Taking baby diva out into the sunshine and absorbing every last minute of the calm and safety. This hospital stay is a much needed respite. Friday hasn't "felt" like a weekend in years...every day and every free moment is one long continuation of managing difficult child. Today we LIVE! Thanks so much for the outpouring of support, as you all sadly know it means so much. I welcome advice and suggestions. I may sometimes have a differing opinion but having new ideas has always been a great source for changes. On the ironic side, baby diva is a teething nightmare and I am due to "pop" after turkey day. A difficult child teen, a terrible twos toddler and an infant. What the heck was I thinking? As for me, "look ma, no medications". Gonna survive and put on some warrior momma face paint. [/QUOTE]
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