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General Parenting
POSSIBLE BREAKTHROUGH WITH difficult child 2!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="Shari" data-source="post: 111045" data-attributes="member: 1848"><p>With my difficult child 1, although you had to think differently with him, allowing deviation for any reason other than ones he earned set you up for months of "give an inch, take a mile" mentality.</p><p>He could not see himself as a "child" as opposed to an equal with the adult world. Therefore, if there were exceptions for adults, there would be valid exceptions for the child, and if he "got away with it" once, you can bank he'd attempt it as many times as he could squeeze in between sunrise and sunset. If we said no overnights with anyone and then sent him to grandma's for the night FOR US, he saw it as a benefit to him without having to be earned, and that's all he saw. Thus it would become a battle.</p><p>HOWEVER - you and your fiance must take care of YOU, too. Its a very fine line to walk. Personally, if this were my difficult child and this was working for me, I'd hire a sitter to come after he's asleep and head out the door for the late movie.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Shari, post: 111045, member: 1848"] With my difficult child 1, although you had to think differently with him, allowing deviation for any reason other than ones he earned set you up for months of "give an inch, take a mile" mentality. He could not see himself as a "child" as opposed to an equal with the adult world. Therefore, if there were exceptions for adults, there would be valid exceptions for the child, and if he "got away with it" once, you can bank he'd attempt it as many times as he could squeeze in between sunrise and sunset. If we said no overnights with anyone and then sent him to grandma's for the night FOR US, he saw it as a benefit to him without having to be earned, and that's all he saw. Thus it would become a battle. HOWEVER - you and your fiance must take care of YOU, too. Its a very fine line to walk. Personally, if this were my difficult child and this was working for me, I'd hire a sitter to come after he's asleep and head out the door for the late movie. [/QUOTE]
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POSSIBLE BREAKTHROUGH WITH difficult child 2!!!
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