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Post difficult child birthday melancholy update.........
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<blockquote data-quote="Calamity Jane" data-source="post: 566737" data-attributes="member: 13882"><p>RE,</p><p>Hugs and more hugs, first of all. Turning 40 under the best of circumstances is challenging for so many reasons, but for your daughter, well, I'm guessing it may have been a rough day of looking back, sad memories, years of struggles, and maybe thinking forward about what struggles lay ahead. Perhaps she just wanted to blot the day out and not even acknowledge it - for your sake as well as hers. For you, it's bittersweet, you gave birth to her 40 yrs. ago, and everything good and bad that goes with that memory. Then there's your granddaughter, and the complications of that relationship.</p><p>My mentally ill brother turned 60 this year, and his life has been so difficult for the most part since he was about 19. His wife divorced him when he was at his lowest point, and she took off with whatever money they had saved. Although we are a supportive family, and we see him weekly, he cannot live with us, and his life now basically consists of smoking, eating and sleeping, and occasionally talking about cars and music. Very little else, and birthdays and holidays are very, very tough for him and us. He always asks why he was born, what his purpose is, etc. It's tough on all of us. Some days are better than others, but we just have to press on, and find joy and meaning despite our difficulties. </p><p>I commend you for your active pursuit of balance and peace for yourself and for your granddaughter, too. You've learned so much, and you graciously pass it on to us and you offer your kindness and understanding to everyone here. I hope your daughter contacts you soon, and you can enjoy a very special "belated" birthday celebration.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Calamity Jane, post: 566737, member: 13882"] RE, Hugs and more hugs, first of all. Turning 40 under the best of circumstances is challenging for so many reasons, but for your daughter, well, I'm guessing it may have been a rough day of looking back, sad memories, years of struggles, and maybe thinking forward about what struggles lay ahead. Perhaps she just wanted to blot the day out and not even acknowledge it - for your sake as well as hers. For you, it's bittersweet, you gave birth to her 40 yrs. ago, and everything good and bad that goes with that memory. Then there's your granddaughter, and the complications of that relationship. My mentally ill brother turned 60 this year, and his life has been so difficult for the most part since he was about 19. His wife divorced him when he was at his lowest point, and she took off with whatever money they had saved. Although we are a supportive family, and we see him weekly, he cannot live with us, and his life now basically consists of smoking, eating and sleeping, and occasionally talking about cars and music. Very little else, and birthdays and holidays are very, very tough for him and us. He always asks why he was born, what his purpose is, etc. It's tough on all of us. Some days are better than others, but we just have to press on, and find joy and meaning despite our difficulties. I commend you for your active pursuit of balance and peace for yourself and for your granddaughter, too. You've learned so much, and you graciously pass it on to us and you offer your kindness and understanding to everyone here. I hope your daughter contacts you soon, and you can enjoy a very special "belated" birthday celebration. [/QUOTE]
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