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<blockquote data-quote="donna723" data-source="post: 315891" data-attributes="member: 1883"><p>Sigh ... Oh Star. Didn't your ex try to pull this one time before? I do understand how this must make you feel! It was the same way when my son was that age and his father would make all these promises that he never ended up keeping, and my son would get hurt over and over again! One disappointment after another! But he kept trying again and again because he so desperately wanted things to be different, wanted that real approval and love from his dad, and it never came. And seeing him be hurt so badly was so much worse than going through it myself.</p><p> </p><p>There IS something with boys and their bio dads. The son wants that father/son relationship and their approval so badly, no matter how much of a skunk they are, and they keep on trying in hopes that maybe this time will be different, and it never is. My son would see his friends and the good relationships they had with their dads, and he would blame himself and think that something must be wrong with <em>him</em>, that he didn't measure up for some reason. It takes a long, long time and a lot of maturity for them to finally see them for what they are and to become totally disallusioned. My own son finally 'got it' when he was about 20 or 21. When he could look at it from the adult point of view, he saw that <em>he</em> was OK, it was not his fault ... his father was just an (<span style="font-size: 9px">other word for 'donkey'</span>). It's a hard lesson for them to have to learn and it's very painful to watch.</p><p> </p><p>If Dude is determined to go, there isn't much you can do about it. I sure wouldn't provide him the bus ticket to do it though! This is ex's doing and if <em>he</em> wants to see him, let <em>him</em> come up with the price of a plane ticket or whatever. If he can't even come up with the price of a plane ticket, then he sure can't come up with the money to buy a car for him and you will know for sure that this is just a line of B.S. And it sounds to me like he's trying to use Dude to get info on YOU! <u>Not</u> good!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="donna723, post: 315891, member: 1883"] Sigh ... Oh Star. Didn't your ex try to pull this one time before? I do understand how this must make you feel! It was the same way when my son was that age and his father would make all these promises that he never ended up keeping, and my son would get hurt over and over again! One disappointment after another! But he kept trying again and again because he so desperately wanted things to be different, wanted that real approval and love from his dad, and it never came. And seeing him be hurt so badly was so much worse than going through it myself. There IS something with boys and their bio dads. The son wants that father/son relationship and their approval so badly, no matter how much of a skunk they are, and they keep on trying in hopes that maybe this time will be different, and it never is. My son would see his friends and the good relationships they had with their dads, and he would blame himself and think that something must be wrong with [I]him[/I], that he didn't measure up for some reason. It takes a long, long time and a lot of maturity for them to finally see them for what they are and to become totally disallusioned. My own son finally 'got it' when he was about 20 or 21. When he could look at it from the adult point of view, he saw that [I]he[/I] was OK, it was not his fault ... his father was just an ([SIZE=1]other word for 'donkey'[/SIZE]). It's a hard lesson for them to have to learn and it's very painful to watch. If Dude is determined to go, there isn't much you can do about it. I sure wouldn't provide him the bus ticket to do it though! This is ex's doing and if [I]he[/I] wants to see him, let [I]him[/I] come up with the price of a plane ticket or whatever. If he can't even come up with the price of a plane ticket, then he sure can't come up with the money to buy a car for him and you will know for sure that this is just a line of B.S. And it sounds to me like he's trying to use Dude to get info on YOU! [U]Not[/U] good! [/QUOTE]
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