Pregnancy Pact

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by JJJ, Dec 11, 2012.

  1. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    I am 99.9999% sure that the girls at Kanga's TLP and Residential Treatment Center (RTC) have a pregnancy pact. Her last two phone calls were to tell me that other girls have gotten pregnant. "Sadly" Kanga is not. Of course, it is not for lack of effort.

    I sent an e-mail to the only parent that I have contact with, warning her to hurry up (she is in the process of getting her daughter on bc)!

    My grandma asked if we were not going to acknowledge any baby. I told her that would be accurate, primarily because the baby would likely not be related to us for long as CPS is very likely to step in and take the baby. I think the TLP therapist and myself will both be giving them a heads up if there is an actual baby at some point.

    I know it is a slippery slope but I really, really wish we could sterilize the lot of them.
     
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    I know what you mean - there's two sides to the slippery slope, and both sides are ugly.
    There simply are no good solutions.
     
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I tend to agree with you JJJ. there is nothing harder in this world than getting attached to a grandchild and then having them ripped from your life. If there is a snowballs chance in hell of that happening, dont set yourself up for that. It is so heartbreaking.
     
  4. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I know what you mean. I get why we can't and even met this amazing foster/adoptive mom who had several special needs kids but because of a genetic issue that made her small and have some motor and learning issues, she was sterilized. She had normal IQ and a good career and got married, had a house....very sad. But when I think of Q? There is no shot or pills for bc for boys....sigh.
     
  5. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    been there done that with another relatives child, I cannot even imagine how much worse the pain would be when it is a grandchild and they are in a bad situation. Kanga would never let us develop a relationship with the child even if she kept it. Kanga is pretty blunt that she calls us only when she is bored or wants something.
     
  6. Do the people at the TLP/Residential Treatment Center (RTC) know? I'm wondering if they can warn the other parents that you don't have contact with. That is a scary thought - these unstable young women having children of their own.
     
  7. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Tubes tied or vasectomy should be options for kids like Kanga and Q. Permanent but reversible (at least the docs can go in and pull out eggs/sperm if they can't reverse the procedure). It is such a shame that Kanga will be allowed to breed, expose the baby to who-knows-what in utero, and the child starts life at such a disadvantage with likely permanent disabilities.

    Kanga has never acknowledged that there is anything wrong with her abusive side. When I read Push (the movie Precious was based on it), I saw Kanga on every page.

    My deepest prayer is that she is infertile. After suffering from infertility, I never thought I would wish it on another but, in her case, it would be a blessing.
     
  8. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

  9. compassion

    compassion Member

    My daughtr got second implant, it is good for three years , on Monday. This was a major priority this fall, took planning and reinforcemnts. The pluses for young women with a lot of implusivity issues is no appointment , pill c ompliance requird, it is good for three years at a time.
     
  10. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I already have a grandson I've only seen four or five times. Trust me, that isn't enough time to get that attached, especially if you only see him for forty-five minutes at a crack with his mother staring daggers at you and the child really doesn't know who you are because Son doesn't care that much so there aren't even pictures of you in the house.

    I digress to the issue at hand. BC is the best solution, especially the shot. Our difficult child's are really NOT fit to be parents. When they are, we all must worry ourselves sick unless we are raising them. Then there goes our golden years!

    These pregnancy pacts are really scary. No stable teen would get involved with that so the babies have big strikes against them at birth. I'd alert the Residential Treatment Center (RTC).
     
  11. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    We got her the implant. She had it removed :(
     
  12. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    The Residential Treatment Center (RTC) knows but there is precious little they can do about the girls in TLP because it is not a restricted program. The Residential Treatment Center (RTC) girls they have more control over but they just keep running away to do it.

    My guess is that Kanga is sticking around until after Christmas so she can get gifts and then at her January staffing, she will demand to be moved to independent living (aka her own, subsidized apartment) or she will just sign herself out.
     
  13. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Oh wow, it's all so scary. I agree. There should be some way to have them receive a permanent sterilization. I can't imagine how scary to have that (baby making ) be a goal. She really says and does some scary stuff. Hugs, what a ride.
     
  14. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    JJJ, I'm with you. Horrible choices on either side, but what can you do?

    My difficult child's former girlfriend has Down Syndrome. The two of them were...um...passionate about each other. To the point that her mother and I made sure they were chaperoned 100% of the time they were together. With his issues and hers, the genetic time bomb was just too much of a risk. There were times I wished we could have both of them sterilized so that they could have a proper relationship, without consequences that neither of them would have been able to deal with.

    I'm so sorry that Kanga continues to be Kanga.
     
  15. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    MWM...I beg to differ that our difficult child's are not fit to be parents. Some are, in fact many are. If you think this through, if this board had existed back when we were children, our parents would have been members and we would have been the difficult child's that you just said were NOT fit to be parents. There are many more parents on this board who would qualify in one way or other as having some difficult child factor simply because of some form of depression or anxiety disorder. I think we are all fairly good parents. Not perfect by any means of the imagination but certainly we are fit.
     
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