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Pretty or ????
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<blockquote data-quote="trinityroyal" data-source="post: 502894" data-attributes="member: 3907"><p>With Step-D, I do tell her often that she is pretty (as well as smart, worthy of respect, etc.). It's different in that she's an adult, and it's part of my effort to undo some of the damage done by her bio-mom calling her ugly, worthless, a sl*t and much much worse when she was growing up, so I think that's a different case.</p><p></p><p>I do tell Tyrantina that she;s wearing a pretty dress, or her hairstyle looks pretty, or that sort of thing, but again it's when we've just spent time combing her hair, or she's chosen her own outfit, or something similar. She seems to associate it with wearing something purple or pink with lots of ribbons or flowers, etc. It's not really tied to behaviour, or appropriateness, or anything fundamental like that though.</p><p></p><p>With behaviour, we usually ask Tyrantina, "Would you please whatever-it-is properly this time?" or "Will you say that with nice manners, please?" Or something that focuses on the behaviour or the situation at hand, rather than how it relates to her appearance.</p><p></p><p>I think the idea that a girl is "too pretty to fill-in-the-blank" will certainly lead to trouble later on, as so much will be tied to her appearance. I'd rather hear "too smart" or "too well brought up" or "too strong" or "you know better than that" or just about anything else relating to exercising good judgement.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="trinityroyal, post: 502894, member: 3907"] With Step-D, I do tell her often that she is pretty (as well as smart, worthy of respect, etc.). It's different in that she's an adult, and it's part of my effort to undo some of the damage done by her bio-mom calling her ugly, worthless, a sl*t and much much worse when she was growing up, so I think that's a different case. I do tell Tyrantina that she;s wearing a pretty dress, or her hairstyle looks pretty, or that sort of thing, but again it's when we've just spent time combing her hair, or she's chosen her own outfit, or something similar. She seems to associate it with wearing something purple or pink with lots of ribbons or flowers, etc. It's not really tied to behaviour, or appropriateness, or anything fundamental like that though. With behaviour, we usually ask Tyrantina, "Would you please whatever-it-is properly this time?" or "Will you say that with nice manners, please?" Or something that focuses on the behaviour or the situation at hand, rather than how it relates to her appearance. I think the idea that a girl is "too pretty to fill-in-the-blank" will certainly lead to trouble later on, as so much will be tied to her appearance. I'd rather hear "too smart" or "too well brought up" or "too strong" or "you know better than that" or just about anything else relating to exercising good judgement. [/QUOTE]
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