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Problem with Cory on job...
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 515508" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Odds are their mother died young from overworking herself with all that extra weight. A shame. Although it makes one wonder how "saintly" a mom can be who's kids do without and she weighs in at 450 lbs. Yeah, I know there can be thyroid issues and often a low income family's diet is high in both fat and starches.......but there is a major difference between over weight from a poor diet and 450 lbs. Reminds me of a couple I know, both parents are well over the 500lb mark, the boys are downright scrawny bordering on malnourished. Doesn't take a genius to figure out who is getting the vast majority of food in that home. ugh</p><p></p><p>If it were me at this stage in the game, I'd just <strong>stop</strong> talking AND stop doing. No cooking, except for myself. No laundry, except for myself. No cleaning, unless it really bugged me. No food shopping, except for myself, no personal hygiene shopping (except your own) or cleaning products shopping. If they want clean laundry, food, deodorant, toilet paper blah blah blah........then they can manage to figure out how to do it all by themselves. If Buck breaks the machines, Tony can replace them or have the added expense of taking them out to be cleaned, plus the added PITA of doing so. </p><p></p><p>Tony is not listening or hearing you at this point anyway. I'd totally ignore them both. Totally. They're just keeping you in a state of (justified) agitation, and honestly, it's not worth your mental health. It will be impossible for Buck to get a rise out of someone who refuses to acknowledge his existence........therefore no fuel to use against you. It's impossible for Tony to "fight" with someone who not only refuses to engage in the fight but doesn't even notice him standing there trying it. </p><p></p><p>If you just can't tolerate the situation, then perhaps splurging on a week in a motel or with Cory will give you a break and give you a chance to think. (Buck doesn't want you to have a chance to think because it gives you the opportunity to outsmart him and probably get him OUT) </p><p></p><p>The in your face deal with Buck, is a tactic used by M for the same reason........it's impossible to think and plan if the person who is driving you crazy is in your face constantly agitating the hell out of you. Same for Tony, honestly, he can't see the forest through the trees because Buck isn't leaving him alone long enough to actually think about 1. what is going on 2. what Buck is really doing and 3. that he's really screwing up his marriage. That is why when katie declared they were coming I already had plans in place to handle it. I knew she was going to arrive with no cash and need to stay with us. ugh And I knew if I didn't get them back out as fast as possible...........I might never get them back out again. And trust me, being around M 24/7 one can not think about anything other than methods by which to shorten his life span.</p><p></p><p>Everything that comes out of Bucks mouth when he is around you is meant to <strong>trigger</strong> a reaction. (lord only knows how many different ways Buck is twisting your responses to Tony in private) It's not going to be easy by a long shot, but ignoring him completely gives him nothing to work with. Once you stop doing anything that doesn't directly have to do with yourself, Tony will see how much you do actually do regardless of your disabilities. Refusing to fight or argue with Tony makes it difficult, if not impossible, to stay on the defensive with Buck. As long as he's on the defensive, he's never going to see Buck for what he is, he's too busy justifying the "man"s behavior.</p><p></p><p>Tony <strong>will</strong> eventually see Buck for who and what he is. Just as the other sibs did. The problem is will he come to his senses before he ruins all the things he cares about?</p><p></p><p>I too wish the sibs would do an intervention, problem is that Tony is still defending Buck too much right now.......he'd probably decide poor Buck is the victim and feel more compelled to "help" him.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 515508, member: 84"] Odds are their mother died young from overworking herself with all that extra weight. A shame. Although it makes one wonder how "saintly" a mom can be who's kids do without and she weighs in at 450 lbs. Yeah, I know there can be thyroid issues and often a low income family's diet is high in both fat and starches.......but there is a major difference between over weight from a poor diet and 450 lbs. Reminds me of a couple I know, both parents are well over the 500lb mark, the boys are downright scrawny bordering on malnourished. Doesn't take a genius to figure out who is getting the vast majority of food in that home. ugh If it were me at this stage in the game, I'd just [B]stop[/B] talking AND stop doing. No cooking, except for myself. No laundry, except for myself. No cleaning, unless it really bugged me. No food shopping, except for myself, no personal hygiene shopping (except your own) or cleaning products shopping. If they want clean laundry, food, deodorant, toilet paper blah blah blah........then they can manage to figure out how to do it all by themselves. If Buck breaks the machines, Tony can replace them or have the added expense of taking them out to be cleaned, plus the added PITA of doing so. Tony is not listening or hearing you at this point anyway. I'd totally ignore them both. Totally. They're just keeping you in a state of (justified) agitation, and honestly, it's not worth your mental health. It will be impossible for Buck to get a rise out of someone who refuses to acknowledge his existence........therefore no fuel to use against you. It's impossible for Tony to "fight" with someone who not only refuses to engage in the fight but doesn't even notice him standing there trying it. If you just can't tolerate the situation, then perhaps splurging on a week in a motel or with Cory will give you a break and give you a chance to think. (Buck doesn't want you to have a chance to think because it gives you the opportunity to outsmart him and probably get him OUT) The in your face deal with Buck, is a tactic used by M for the same reason........it's impossible to think and plan if the person who is driving you crazy is in your face constantly agitating the hell out of you. Same for Tony, honestly, he can't see the forest through the trees because Buck isn't leaving him alone long enough to actually think about 1. what is going on 2. what Buck is really doing and 3. that he's really screwing up his marriage. That is why when katie declared they were coming I already had plans in place to handle it. I knew she was going to arrive with no cash and need to stay with us. ugh And I knew if I didn't get them back out as fast as possible...........I might never get them back out again. And trust me, being around M 24/7 one can not think about anything other than methods by which to shorten his life span. Everything that comes out of Bucks mouth when he is around you is meant to [B]trigger[/B] a reaction. (lord only knows how many different ways Buck is twisting your responses to Tony in private) It's not going to be easy by a long shot, but ignoring him completely gives him nothing to work with. Once you stop doing anything that doesn't directly have to do with yourself, Tony will see how much you do actually do regardless of your disabilities. Refusing to fight or argue with Tony makes it difficult, if not impossible, to stay on the defensive with Buck. As long as he's on the defensive, he's never going to see Buck for what he is, he's too busy justifying the "man"s behavior. Tony [B]will[/B] eventually see Buck for who and what he is. Just as the other sibs did. The problem is will he come to his senses before he ruins all the things he cares about? I too wish the sibs would do an intervention, problem is that Tony is still defending Buck too much right now.......he'd probably decide poor Buck is the victim and feel more compelled to "help" him. [/QUOTE]
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