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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 156141" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Sorry you have had such a hard night- or more than one night. I don't know the answer- but from the past couple of threads you have started, it sounds like you are trying to reason with someone who is not thinking or dealing with things rationally. Sometimes when difficult child is this way, I just shut down from him (for a short period) and tell him that when he can discuss things rationally, I will be more than happy to discuss it. Sometimes that works, sometimes it pushes things to a different point. Even when it pushes things to a different point, it might lead to him becoming a little more honest with himself, then me, albeit it will be after a meltdown or a rage. I guess, I am saying that it sounds like something is "brewing". There have been a couple of times that I have told difficult child (and stuck by) that if he shuts down, then I shut down- I don't cook dinner, do laundry, etc. I tell him there is bread and p-nut butter and jelly and he's old enough to make himself a sandwich. Given that he is an adolescent boy with one growth spurt after another, this typically brings things to a head within a day. I am sure there must be a better way- but I don't know what it is right now.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry you are so frustrated- I can see why you would be. Hang in there. Be prepared- it sounds like something is stirring...</p><p>like a rage and then a meltdown and then a talk to get to the root of the problem.</p><p>Oh, now I see- she is going through the raging hormone-total independence-so why aren't we doing everything for them-age- just like my son.</p><p></p><p>SIGH...</p><p></p><p>I'm waiting for Star's book.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 156141, member: 3699"] Sorry you have had such a hard night- or more than one night. I don't know the answer- but from the past couple of threads you have started, it sounds like you are trying to reason with someone who is not thinking or dealing with things rationally. Sometimes when difficult child is this way, I just shut down from him (for a short period) and tell him that when he can discuss things rationally, I will be more than happy to discuss it. Sometimes that works, sometimes it pushes things to a different point. Even when it pushes things to a different point, it might lead to him becoming a little more honest with himself, then me, albeit it will be after a meltdown or a rage. I guess, I am saying that it sounds like something is "brewing". There have been a couple of times that I have told difficult child (and stuck by) that if he shuts down, then I shut down- I don't cook dinner, do laundry, etc. I tell him there is bread and p-nut butter and jelly and he's old enough to make himself a sandwich. Given that he is an adolescent boy with one growth spurt after another, this typically brings things to a head within a day. I am sure there must be a better way- but I don't know what it is right now. I am sorry you are so frustrated- I can see why you would be. Hang in there. Be prepared- it sounds like something is stirring... like a rage and then a meltdown and then a talk to get to the root of the problem. Oh, now I see- she is going through the raging hormone-total independence-so why aren't we doing everything for them-age- just like my son. SIGH... I'm waiting for Star's book. [/QUOTE]
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