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<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 156202"><p>Shortly after I posted this, I went to her room to talk to her. She was lying on her bed, but not crying. I told her that tomorrow we would just start over...clean slate. She started to argue with me and I told her that I didn't go there to argue, that I was still very angry and didn't want to talk about anything other than what I came to say. Repeated the clean slate thing. Told her that she would have to buckle down to get her grades up to pass, but that I was more than willing to sit with her and help her the entire way. But, I told her that if she started yelling at me, arguing with me about doing her work that I was going to stop helping her. Asked if we had a deal. She said No. I said Fine and left her room.</p><p></p><p>A few minutes later she came into the kitchen and got a sprite and stormed out of the room. But, I thought I heard movement and turned around and she had come back and was standing at the counter fidgeting with things, running her finger around the top of the sprite can. I asked her if there was something she wanted to say.</p><p></p><p>She said that she doesn't try to argue with me and that she doesn't know how to say what she needs and it just comes out the way it does. We talked about presentation....how to use 'I' statements as in 'I need' or 'I feel' as opposed to 'You always' and 'You never'. Talked about her taking responsibility for her own stuff instead of blaming it on other people. She said she understands but that she gets so frustrated with school work that she just wants to take someone's head off and she doesn't know what to do. I kinda tossed that back at her and told her that when she screams at me because she's frustrated then *I* feel like I want to take someone's head off. She seemed to understand that then...how frustrating it becomes for me, too.</p><p></p><p>So, we got that out there. Still have to work on handling these issues, but it's a start. I'm exhausted. Drained.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 156202"] Shortly after I posted this, I went to her room to talk to her. She was lying on her bed, but not crying. I told her that tomorrow we would just start over...clean slate. She started to argue with me and I told her that I didn't go there to argue, that I was still very angry and didn't want to talk about anything other than what I came to say. Repeated the clean slate thing. Told her that she would have to buckle down to get her grades up to pass, but that I was more than willing to sit with her and help her the entire way. But, I told her that if she started yelling at me, arguing with me about doing her work that I was going to stop helping her. Asked if we had a deal. She said No. I said Fine and left her room. A few minutes later she came into the kitchen and got a sprite and stormed out of the room. But, I thought I heard movement and turned around and she had come back and was standing at the counter fidgeting with things, running her finger around the top of the sprite can. I asked her if there was something she wanted to say. She said that she doesn't try to argue with me and that she doesn't know how to say what she needs and it just comes out the way it does. We talked about presentation....how to use 'I' statements as in 'I need' or 'I feel' as opposed to 'You always' and 'You never'. Talked about her taking responsibility for her own stuff instead of blaming it on other people. She said she understands but that she gets so frustrated with school work that she just wants to take someone's head off and she doesn't know what to do. I kinda tossed that back at her and told her that when she screams at me because she's frustrated then *I* feel like I want to take someone's head off. She seemed to understand that then...how frustrating it becomes for me, too. So, we got that out there. Still have to work on handling these issues, but it's a start. I'm exhausted. Drained. [/QUOTE]
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