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Putting Wind under his Wings...
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<blockquote data-quote="MuM_of_OCD_kiddo" data-source="post: 469381" data-attributes="member: 12241"><p>Janet - I have been nudging gently for the last 6 or 7 months to no avail.</p><p></p><p>Keista - we have been working on all 4 points you mentioned. He gets stuck after point 1, LOL. I can talk until I am blue in the face with outlining for him what he needs to do in order to get there, he simply thinks he can wing it [as long as I keep a roof over his head and food in the fridge and don't push him too hard, he might actually get there in 10 or 20 years]. NOOOT!</p><p></p><p>I am a procrastinator as well, I totally sympathize with it. I am pretty introvert and can do [and actually like to live] with-out much social interaction - but I have also been out there, had exposure, partied and gone on vacations - I know what I like and what I don't like. I can overcome my urge to procrastinate when it comes down to being responsible and earning a living to keep us all afloat.</p><p></p><p>While I have no problem with him staying underfoot for another year or two while he works on achieveing some of his own goals, I need him to actually working on them and not putting it off because he is hesitant in leaving his comfort zone. I refuse to bribe him with games, or electro toys etc - he is old enough to earn money to buy them himself. I need him to come to realize that the end result is enough to "go get" and work towards a goal. I am not going to be around to micromanage him forever, and after near 20 years of single parenting, I should be allowed to do something for myself without having to do the same for him. He is no longer that deep in the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) trenches that he needs to be manipulated, bribed, cajoaled and coaxed to behave. He has been nicely maturing and growing up more than I have ever had hope for while we were going through the seriously rough times with him.</p><p></p><p></p><p>It's time for the next step in growing up, and that is learning some independant thinking, planning and then following through. Baby steps and the first one for him should be his GED. How do I get him to go there without having to drag him there by his ear and "making" him do it? I need some way of motivating him that teaches and encourages him to do for himself without me needling and nagging him along...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="MuM_of_OCD_kiddo, post: 469381, member: 12241"] Janet - I have been nudging gently for the last 6 or 7 months to no avail. Keista - we have been working on all 4 points you mentioned. He gets stuck after point 1, LOL. I can talk until I am blue in the face with outlining for him what he needs to do in order to get there, he simply thinks he can wing it [as long as I keep a roof over his head and food in the fridge and don't push him too hard, he might actually get there in 10 or 20 years]. NOOOT! I am a procrastinator as well, I totally sympathize with it. I am pretty introvert and can do [and actually like to live] with-out much social interaction - but I have also been out there, had exposure, partied and gone on vacations - I know what I like and what I don't like. I can overcome my urge to procrastinate when it comes down to being responsible and earning a living to keep us all afloat. While I have no problem with him staying underfoot for another year or two while he works on achieveing some of his own goals, I need him to actually working on them and not putting it off because he is hesitant in leaving his comfort zone. I refuse to bribe him with games, or electro toys etc - he is old enough to earn money to buy them himself. I need him to come to realize that the end result is enough to "go get" and work towards a goal. I am not going to be around to micromanage him forever, and after near 20 years of single parenting, I should be allowed to do something for myself without having to do the same for him. He is no longer that deep in the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) trenches that he needs to be manipulated, bribed, cajoaled and coaxed to behave. He has been nicely maturing and growing up more than I have ever had hope for while we were going through the seriously rough times with him. It's time for the next step in growing up, and that is learning some independant thinking, planning and then following through. Baby steps and the first one for him should be his GED. How do I get him to go there without having to drag him there by his ear and "making" him do it? I need some way of motivating him that teaches and encourages him to do for himself without me needling and nagging him along... [/QUOTE]
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