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Question about Sober Houses
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 496462"><p>I think it is a good question Susie. I think there is a huge variation in sober houses. My son has been in 3 different ones and they were all different. </p><p></p><p>So the one near where we live was cheap (in comparison) provided dinner and breakfast. This is one he found after calling a lot of places. I don't think there are a lot of sober houses in our area. It had about 30 guys living there... the place was really kind of depressing with a lot of men hanging about.I don't really think there were many requirements except to stay sober.... not sure if they did drug testing. They did have on site AA meetings, not sure how many they were required to go to. I was not aware of any other thereapeutic services. There were a number of guys there that were there on release from the local house of correction. My son did not do well there, he got very depressed and ended up in the hospital. When he went back someone offered him acid and he took it which sent him over the edge again.... and if he was telling me the truth his medications were stolen while there. So that is probably not the best example of a sober house but I suspect is not unusual either.</p><p></p><p>the 2nd one was actually one he was in a year ago when out of state, and then in again when in the same state away from home. This one is run by a couple, both former addicts. I think they both care about their residents and give a certain amount of personal attention... the woman is motherly, maybe too much so for my son. LOL. They did require a certain number of meetings and did have a relapse prevention group and I think they also work with some therapists who work with residents there. My son was kicked out of that one... when he was kicked out they kicked him out late at night and left him on the street with no place to go... and he ended up leaving a bunch of stuff behind which he did not get back. I am not sure the kicking him out was done in a very professional manner... again I don't really know because all I can base it on is what my son says and I can't trust a word he says. My feeling about this place is that the owners are very well intentioned but also very inexperienced and it showed in the way they handled some things.</p><p>This place was much more expensive that the first one.</p><p></p><p>The latest place was the same price as the one I just mentioned. It is obviously much more professional, much more experienced in dealing with things. They have two programs. Their house for people right out of detox which is very very structured.... and with that you get an intenstive outpatient program which my son found helpful. You can't have a job or leave the property on your own. They provide transportation to various things. I believe they provide breakfast. They drug test often. After you are in that program you move to the regular sober house which has a lot more freedom. However you can continue with the IOP. There you are expected to get a job and they do do things to help you get a job. My son was also kicked out of there.... but when they did this they gave him 24 hours to figure out what to do... so they didn't drop him off on a street corner at 10pm at night like the place before. According to my son they will take him back after he has been away for a week.... I have not yet confirmed that and am waiting to see what happens. To me this place is by far the best and I am really hoping that my son can go back there. I just got a nice professional letter from them about my no longer paying the rent but how they will be there for my loved one in the future if need be.</p><p></p><p>As far as paying for rent... I know my son cannot possibly start off paying rent at a place. He has to get a job first...but living in a sober house with the supports can be a real help to him so we are willing to pay for it for a time... we would expect him to take over expenses as he goes along though. Right now I am just hoping he does what he needs to do to get back in.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 496462"] I think it is a good question Susie. I think there is a huge variation in sober houses. My son has been in 3 different ones and they were all different. So the one near where we live was cheap (in comparison) provided dinner and breakfast. This is one he found after calling a lot of places. I don't think there are a lot of sober houses in our area. It had about 30 guys living there... the place was really kind of depressing with a lot of men hanging about.I don't really think there were many requirements except to stay sober.... not sure if they did drug testing. They did have on site AA meetings, not sure how many they were required to go to. I was not aware of any other thereapeutic services. There were a number of guys there that were there on release from the local house of correction. My son did not do well there, he got very depressed and ended up in the hospital. When he went back someone offered him acid and he took it which sent him over the edge again.... and if he was telling me the truth his medications were stolen while there. So that is probably not the best example of a sober house but I suspect is not unusual either. the 2nd one was actually one he was in a year ago when out of state, and then in again when in the same state away from home. This one is run by a couple, both former addicts. I think they both care about their residents and give a certain amount of personal attention... the woman is motherly, maybe too much so for my son. LOL. They did require a certain number of meetings and did have a relapse prevention group and I think they also work with some therapists who work with residents there. My son was kicked out of that one... when he was kicked out they kicked him out late at night and left him on the street with no place to go... and he ended up leaving a bunch of stuff behind which he did not get back. I am not sure the kicking him out was done in a very professional manner... again I don't really know because all I can base it on is what my son says and I can't trust a word he says. My feeling about this place is that the owners are very well intentioned but also very inexperienced and it showed in the way they handled some things. This place was much more expensive that the first one. The latest place was the same price as the one I just mentioned. It is obviously much more professional, much more experienced in dealing with things. They have two programs. Their house for people right out of detox which is very very structured.... and with that you get an intenstive outpatient program which my son found helpful. You can't have a job or leave the property on your own. They provide transportation to various things. I believe they provide breakfast. They drug test often. After you are in that program you move to the regular sober house which has a lot more freedom. However you can continue with the IOP. There you are expected to get a job and they do do things to help you get a job. My son was also kicked out of there.... but when they did this they gave him 24 hours to figure out what to do... so they didn't drop him off on a street corner at 10pm at night like the place before. According to my son they will take him back after he has been away for a week.... I have not yet confirmed that and am waiting to see what happens. To me this place is by far the best and I am really hoping that my son can go back there. I just got a nice professional letter from them about my no longer paying the rent but how they will be there for my loved one in the future if need be. As far as paying for rent... I know my son cannot possibly start off paying rent at a place. He has to get a job first...but living in a sober house with the supports can be a real help to him so we are willing to pay for it for a time... we would expect him to take over expenses as he goes along though. Right now I am just hoping he does what he needs to do to get back in. TL [/QUOTE]
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