Question ODD

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by datsgrls, Nov 25, 2007.

  1. datsgrls

    datsgrls New Member

    I have a 6yr daughter that has ODD. I also have a soon to be 14 yro, and an 17 month old.
    My question is: I have been reading these posts for days now and what I am seeing is that we, the parents, need to medicate ourselves heavily until the disruptive child out grows the condition, right? How is this helping me be a decent parent to the others?
    I have tried medications, they make me sick. I have already been using most of the methods that you speak of here even the new one with Omega 3s.
    I just dont get it, how is this going to work? I have three children to attend to - not just this one. To deal with her I have to be sedated and that means that the other two suffer because I am sedated. Seems kinda stupid. So here I am stuck with finding a way to deal with a child that has no right to do this to me and everyone else in the family. Got it.
     
  2. maniacmansion

    maniacmansion New Member

    I really don't have any advice, but I know how you feel. I have 4 kids. My oldest is bipolar/ODD. Good luck.
     
  3. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    Where are you reading that we parents need to medicate ourselves heavily in order to deal with our children? I have no idea what you are talking about. We are about different parenting and helping our children...not zoning out so we don't have to deal with them.
     
  4. datsgrls

    datsgrls New Member

    I get it by looking at the end of most of the postings. Where you tell everyone about what medications everyone in you family are taking. Almost everyone that I have read is on some kind of mood altering subtance or gives reference to it.
     
  5. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    Noone here, to my knowledge, is taking anything in order to be able to deal with their child. Those that take medications take them to treat any condition that the parent has. Some have had to start taking an antidepressant because the constant stress of living with a difficult child takes a toll...but an antidepressant is hardly sedating. I went back and looked at others' signatures and didn't see anyone on a tranq...antidepressants, mood stabilizers or anxiety medications are what I saw.

    For helping in dealing with your child, I would recommend The Explosive Child by Ross Greene. It really gives a lot of insight into the minds of our challenging kiddos with techniques on how to parent them. It's been a life saver to many here.

    By the way, who diagnosis'd (diagnosed) your child? What kind of behaviors are you seeing?
     
  6. I'm going crazy!!!

    I'm going crazy!!! New Member

    the parents are telling everyone what their family is taking so when we have a question everyone can help us better i was taking effexor when i got pregnant but i had been on something before that and had chosen not to medicate myself however FOR THE SAKE OF MY CHILD I chose to go back on it to help me balance my moods out nothing more nothing less i only have one child but i noticed you have an older child mid teens who can help you a lot with your youngest child when the time comes to deal with the challenges of an odd child and if that seems unfair then my response would be that's life and that's what family is for to be there for each other hope i didn't overstep my bounds but that's my humble opionion
     
  7. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    I take two medications -- one for acid reflux and one for migraines. Neither is sedating. Both help me feel better so I can better parent my challenging children. Some parents here have mental health conditions for which they take medications. In some instances, these conditions have been passed on to their children, which is why both parent and child take medications. If medications you have taken make you feel sick or sedated, they are not the right medications for you.

    You should know that ODD is rarely a stand-alone diagnosis. ODD generally results from an underlying condition (such as ADHD, anxiety, depression, Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), BiPolar (BP), etc). When the underlying condition is identified and treated, the ODD behaviors typically subside.

    If your difficult child has not had a full evaluation with a professional like a neuropsychologist or a multidisciplinary team at a university or children's hospital, then I would strongly recommend it. Only in identifying exactly what you are dealing with will you be able to put into place interventions that make a difference in her and your life.
     
  8. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I don't take any medications and either does my husband.

    Nancy
     
  9. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Maybe I am one of those whose posts you have read that takes quite a few medications. However, if I am, I didnt start taking medications until my youngest son was into his mid to late teens. I also have several severe and debilitating disabling conditions. I have to take medications in order to get through my days in a halfway decent frame of mind. If I didnt, I would be in bed all day.

    I wish there was a magic pill out there that would zone me out and make me forget that I had a difficult child or that would make him "perfect" but there isnt. Maybe Santa will bring me a magic wand this year.
     
  10. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I am not on any medications- albeit I wish there was one that would solve everything. My son is only on medications because it beats the alternative, given all that is going on with him.

    I am not the moderator here and don't want to overstep my boundaries. At that risk, if you have a question or issue pertaining to a child/adolescent with a specific problem, there are many people here that can help, as they have with me. If not, I question why you are here to criticize and put people in a position where they feel they should defend themselves to you.
     
  11. Sara PA

    Sara PA New Member

    Many of the children whose parents post to this board have medical conditions which cause the behaviors that bring the parents to this board. Many of those medical conditions have a genetic component. It shouldn't be surprising to see multiple generations within one family taking medication if their condition is genetic based.

    Further, it seems like there is a higher than normal representaion of women with autoimmune disorder on boards dedicated to neurobiological disorders in children. These autoimmune disorders may require the use of a number of medications.

    I think you have jumped to an incorrect conclusion as to why parents are taking medication.
     
  12. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I second that!!
     
  13. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I'm taking medication for a mood disorder. I was diagnosed with it and on medications before I had any kids. I don't think parents here are taking medications to cope with our kids. That's a false assumption. Many psychiatric illnesses are inherited too, so a parent and child may both have the same thing.
     
  14. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    OK, it's been explained repeatedly.

    Are you just trolling?

     
  15. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Datsgirls, nonononono! I may be guilty of putting in a post or two in regard to how the Effexor I'm on has helped me deal with-my difficult child. But you misunderstand if you think that sedating yourself--or our sedating ourselves--is going to help us be better parents.
    Were you being sarcastic?
    Dealing with-g'sfs for yrs takes its toll. I have made myself into a Warrior Mom, but that is not my basic personality. I prefer to paint, write poetry and go for walks. Throw a wild, screaming wild child into the mix, and you've got a parent who couldn't parent no matter what her basic personality type is.
    So in order to "become a better parent," then if I have to treat my headaches with-painkillers and my "situational-caused" depression with-Effexor--which is NOT sedating--then so be it.

    I, and many others here, also exercise, meditate, go for walks, read, go out on "date nights" with-our spouses, and go to therapy to get ideas for dealilng with-our kids. Taking medications is one small portion of the picture.

    In the long run--and in fact, in the yrs already passed, I think that my learning to be a Warrior Mom has helped me in other aspects of my life--from things as simple as dealing with-recalcitrant sales clerks, to uniformed teachers, to major political issues which I would never have attempted to remedy before. In an odd philosophical sense, I have my difficult child to thank for helping to strengthen and build my character.

    by the way, I also have a easy child to whom I gave birth. My difficult child is adopted. I have no idea if I would be on medications had we not adopted him. It's useless to waste time on such conjectures.

    Please write back and explain in more detail what you meant by your post.
     
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