Question: Timing on when you told them

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by nvts, Sep 9, 2009.

  1. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Hi! I was wondering - we've mentioned to the kids that they've got something called Aspberbers Syndrome and discussed some of the variables surrounding thier diagnosis's.

    At what age did you guys get into the nitty gritty with them about what's going on or did they figure it out on their own?

    Everyone here has a different opinion.

    While we're at this: We still haven't told difficult child 1 about Santa, The Easter Bunny, the tooth fairy etc. because they're all so close in age as well as how vindictive he could be during his tantrums, we didn't want him telling the younger kids to be mean. Now that he's off all of the medications, do you think it might be a good idea to fill him in (he's going to be 11 in Oct) and how did you keep your older kids from telling the youngers?

    I'm SOOOOO not in the mood for any of this stuff.

    Thanks!
    Beth
     
  2. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    We told K I think about a year ago the nitty gritty details. But we used to describe it as "roller coaster emotions"

    She wanted to know why she had to go to all of the Doctor apt's. and why she had to take medications. Why she felt different.
    I never wanted to lie to her.
    Last year we told her. Her psychiatrist is also really good about talking straight with her.
    Their are so many kids with issues in her school that it is just a fact.
    I want her to feel strong and not ashamed.
    I don't want her to just announce it to the world, but to use her best judgment, (which she sometimes lacks).

    For us, she is so smart about it, that we felt we had no other choice.
    Our school is so small, 400 students, they are huge advocates regarding making all kids feel like they fit in.
    So all I can hope for is the best.
    Life is tough for every one, especially our kids. I just hope by knowing now, her classmates will try to understand.

    Also, her 1st grade teacher came into each classroom and talked about special needs kids and about accepting every one. Which I thought was pretty cool.
     
  3. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    We never kept the facts from Wiz. We made sure they were age appropriate explanations but he asked a lot of questions and I always answered him openly. I did not want him to think he was "bad" or that this was the end of the world, of any dream he had.

    He knew he was different long before he was diagnosis'd. It was just apparent. I said that I told him the truth and I meant it. husband did very little speaking about the problem other than to voice total frustration and anger at him for being different. I let them handle that relationship and I made sure that Wiz know I did NOT feel the same way.husband really damaged their relationship by refusing to admit their was a problem, by openly saying things about difficult child to others in front of him, and by his attitude that if difficult child really loved us he would be all better because he could jusst decide not to be different if he only wanted to bad enough.

    Be as honest as you think he can handle. Just in my opinion.


    As for Santa, I enlisted Wiz, and then Jess to help keep that secret. They each found stocking stuffers and even gifts from "Santa".
     
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I dont even remember how we told the boys about the diagnosis's. Really.

    As far as Santa? What do you mean? He isnt real? You are kidding right! My kids still havent been told he isnt real...lol.

    Actually I let them in on the secret when they had kids...lmao. I always just said that if anyone ever told me they didnt believe in Santa then there would be no need for Xmas and that solved that problem!
     
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