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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 700415" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I think many parents worry too much about their kids happiness. My parents told me that I was promised the PURSUIT of happiness, not happiness. It was MY job to find a way to be happy AND be a productive member of society. Their emphasis was on the productive contributing member of society, NOT whether I was happy. </p><p></p><p>I can still remember parents who gave their very young children coke and other sodas in their bottles because it wasn't "fair" for the parents to have soda and the kids not to. I was considered mean and a bad parent because I taught my kids that some things were only for adults. I didn't really care because I thought (and think) that this is bad parenting and stupid. I don't use the word stupid lightly, but it has always applied to me in this instance. </p><p></p><p>As parents our job is far bigger than worrying if our kids are happy with the rules. Rules exist for a reason, and some things are just not okay. Of course it depends on what you feel is important, but I feel respect for parents is important. Rules like no sex in my home are made for a reason, and that reason is due to what the parents, the ones paying for the home, are comfortable with. In some ways the kids SHOULD be unhappy. If they are not, why would they move out? Living with mom and dad provides a LOT of luxuries that most young ones cannot afford on their own. Parents make kids too comfortable and then wonder why they don't get jobs and move out, etc...</p><p></p><p>I truly believe that as parents supporting our kids we have the right and responsibility to make the rules. It is our kids PRIVILEGE to follow those rules and respect us, otherwise they have the responsibility to pay their own way and establish their own house with their own rules. I have rules that say my kids cannot keep me out of their medical records while they live in my home. I have the right to look anywhere in my home, go through anything in my home, and examine any electronics that my kids use. Period. I generally don't go through their stuff, but if I feel a need I will NOT apologize for it. If they behave appropriately, they get more privacy. To me this is logical, but to others it isn't. My home, my rules. You have every right and RESPONSIBILITY to make your kids follow the rules you establish, even if it doesn't fill them with happiness.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 700415, member: 1233"] I think many parents worry too much about their kids happiness. My parents told me that I was promised the PURSUIT of happiness, not happiness. It was MY job to find a way to be happy AND be a productive member of society. Their emphasis was on the productive contributing member of society, NOT whether I was happy. I can still remember parents who gave their very young children coke and other sodas in their bottles because it wasn't "fair" for the parents to have soda and the kids not to. I was considered mean and a bad parent because I taught my kids that some things were only for adults. I didn't really care because I thought (and think) that this is bad parenting and stupid. I don't use the word stupid lightly, but it has always applied to me in this instance. As parents our job is far bigger than worrying if our kids are happy with the rules. Rules exist for a reason, and some things are just not okay. Of course it depends on what you feel is important, but I feel respect for parents is important. Rules like no sex in my home are made for a reason, and that reason is due to what the parents, the ones paying for the home, are comfortable with. In some ways the kids SHOULD be unhappy. If they are not, why would they move out? Living with mom and dad provides a LOT of luxuries that most young ones cannot afford on their own. Parents make kids too comfortable and then wonder why they don't get jobs and move out, etc... I truly believe that as parents supporting our kids we have the right and responsibility to make the rules. It is our kids PRIVILEGE to follow those rules and respect us, otherwise they have the responsibility to pay their own way and establish their own house with their own rules. I have rules that say my kids cannot keep me out of their medical records while they live in my home. I have the right to look anywhere in my home, go through anything in my home, and examine any electronics that my kids use. Period. I generally don't go through their stuff, but if I feel a need I will NOT apologize for it. If they behave appropriately, they get more privacy. To me this is logical, but to others it isn't. My home, my rules. You have every right and RESPONSIBILITY to make your kids follow the rules you establish, even if it doesn't fill them with happiness. [/QUOTE]
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