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Ramping up to the teen yrs and police intervention
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<blockquote data-quote="Zardo" data-source="post: 461807" data-attributes="member: 12490"><p>I too had to use the police a few times to intervene and calm my 15 year old son down as he loudly and agrily refused rules and limits or attempted to run away in a fit of anger. This anger evolved over the course of a year and a half of a previoulsy normal boy. We later found out that he had been abusing alchohol, pot and was very caught up in the world of computer networking sites. I would question if maybe the same thing might be going on with him? It was a cocktail of influences that took over his life and all of these things were much more important to him than his parents or family. We ended up sending him to Wilderness therapy. The weekly counseling and DAILY group therapy turned him around. He has been home for about a month, so it's still early, but he has been a pleasure to have around since he has been back. He continues in weekly individual counseling and group therapy twice per week. He wanted to continue with the groups. I agree with the previous poster, the power of group therapy at this age far outweighes anything you can do as parents. If you cannot afford or don't want to take the step of sending him away (which we could not either - we used his college money and it was worth it), maybe you can find some group options near your home. In our state the info-line "211" can refer you to many affordable services. Many cities also have "family services centers" that offer all sorts of affordable services. I also know there is a hospital near me that has groups in an adolescent behavioral health clinic. It does take time to find out about these services, but I assure you that it is well worth it. If he refuses to go.....which I know can be a huge issue - I think you said he is 15 - he will be wanting to drive soon. "How can you take the steps for him to drive with this much chaos going on" - surely you can trade off that he attend these programs - and make progress - before you will even consider it. If that is not in the picture - then maybe he cannot have access to "creature comforts" such as a cell phone and the computer unless he attend. You will find that after the first meeting or two - he will want to go because the people that runs these groups are very good with teens and they meet other teens who are struggling with similar issues and it's a relief to be able to talk about it. Good luck!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Zardo, post: 461807, member: 12490"] I too had to use the police a few times to intervene and calm my 15 year old son down as he loudly and agrily refused rules and limits or attempted to run away in a fit of anger. This anger evolved over the course of a year and a half of a previoulsy normal boy. We later found out that he had been abusing alchohol, pot and was very caught up in the world of computer networking sites. I would question if maybe the same thing might be going on with him? It was a cocktail of influences that took over his life and all of these things were much more important to him than his parents or family. We ended up sending him to Wilderness therapy. The weekly counseling and DAILY group therapy turned him around. He has been home for about a month, so it's still early, but he has been a pleasure to have around since he has been back. He continues in weekly individual counseling and group therapy twice per week. He wanted to continue with the groups. I agree with the previous poster, the power of group therapy at this age far outweighes anything you can do as parents. If you cannot afford or don't want to take the step of sending him away (which we could not either - we used his college money and it was worth it), maybe you can find some group options near your home. In our state the info-line "211" can refer you to many affordable services. Many cities also have "family services centers" that offer all sorts of affordable services. I also know there is a hospital near me that has groups in an adolescent behavioral health clinic. It does take time to find out about these services, but I assure you that it is well worth it. If he refuses to go.....which I know can be a huge issue - I think you said he is 15 - he will be wanting to drive soon. "How can you take the steps for him to drive with this much chaos going on" - surely you can trade off that he attend these programs - and make progress - before you will even consider it. If that is not in the picture - then maybe he cannot have access to "creature comforts" such as a cell phone and the computer unless he attend. You will find that after the first meeting or two - he will want to go because the people that runs these groups are very good with teens and they meet other teens who are struggling with similar issues and it's a relief to be able to talk about it. Good luck! [/QUOTE]
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